Cornellius Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 Right now, I'm angry and at the same time, frightful. So, I live at the top floor of a 3-storey apartment building. Two weeks ago, my neighbor across the corridor brings in a dog against the rules of the place which prohibit ownership of any pets. After a week of hearing the dog bark and then the woman abusively yell and launch at the dog doing god knows what, I decide I've had enough. I knock on her door and talk to her about dealing with it more peacefully, and if everything fails, send the dog to the animal protection services. She puts on pretty faces, lies that the dog is the problem, gets defensive when I bring up her responsibility, denies abuse, and actually lies that she's the owner and that she will get the dog trained soon, both of which turned out to be false! Over time, the situation just worsens, as I'm trying to figure out what I have the right to demand from her, and also, what is the nature of what I need to point out to her! So after a week, I go and knock on her door again, and all the focus and concentration I can muster comes out like this: what you're doing is disrespectful. It was true perhaps, but not agile, and she becomes abusive, asking me if I'm high and asking me if there's anything else I want to whine about. Due to my history, that sends me in a state of complete submission. She got me. She says the dog is her brother's possession and that she'll be keeping him for just a few more days, which ends up being the case. But not all ends well. I get a sense that I've been taken over by her, and I feel a sense of inferiority that can only dissipate if I confront her and point out her abuse and her great disrespect. But I look at the future without much confidence. I don't want the situation to turn bad like last time, or turn abusive myself. I feel this sense of urgency, that this is the time or never to act on my values, stand my ground instead of putting up with abuse, to preserve my soul. There's like a fight with the sadistic cunt going on inside my head, and it's very, very stressful. This amygdala response kind of flares up every time I hear someone in the hallway. And today, catastrophe: another neighbor on my floor has brought in a much bigger dog. He's been barking on and off for an hour now. What the hell is wrong with those people?!?! I'm pretty sure if it goes on for more than two days, I need to step in and tell them... that other people don't have to put up with the mayhem of a loud dog in an apartment builsing just because some guy was so irresponsible that he had no other place to lend it while he was doing whatever! That I'm not your family's m-----------g slave!!! But all those plans are stagnating at the point of theorizing. I'm as scared and blinded now as I was when the cunt was verbally abusing me. I'm afraid of resorting to dissociated subservience to the sadistic horizontal predations of nihilists. Self-fulfilling prophecy. I'm not sure what to do. I have very anxious responses to that type of situation. I have no idea what part of my plans is just reproduction of past unconscious means of survival.
Kevin Beal Posted December 5, 2013 Posted December 5, 2013 I'm sorry man. That sucks. You could report them to the landlord, right? Confronting them directly sounds like it could be more pain than it's worth. As far as the woman you already confronted goes, I don't know that you should engage her anymore. It sounds like she is not going to accept any responsibility no matter what you say. And you run the risk of retriggering that anxiety or making it worse. If she is just relentless and decides to treat you with contempt, you could provoke her somehow into doing something that is a clearer violation of the apartment rules and get her kicked out. Not really sure what you should do. I've never had to deal with that one before. Do you bump into these people often? Or is it pretty rare you have to see them?
Cornellius Posted December 5, 2013 Author Posted December 5, 2013 Do you bump into these people often? Or is it pretty rare you have to see them? Pretty much never...
Longshot Posted December 21, 2013 Posted December 21, 2013 I wish I could tell you not to sweat the small stuff, but a complete lack of respect like this really gets to me too. It's obvious these people don't have any sign of empathy in regards to you or the rest of the neighbors, so you will never be able to engage them in a reasonable discussion. I see no reason why should be sympathetic to their needs if they disregard yours so I'd notify management without the slightest bit of regret & maybe even ask the Humane Society how this dog can safely eat in such a close proximity to where it goes dukey.
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