Identifying With the Music You Listen To

[MysterionMuffles]

When I was 14, I used to listen to a lot of Korn. I was depressed back then for all the crappy changes happening my life upon my first year of high school. Jonathan Davis' lyrics always hit home for me (most of them anyway, while others I kinda identified with because it was all I could get around feeling anything back then), and hell some of them even made me cry. The way he sang his broken heart out about a variety of pains and struggles he has had or was still having in his life really affected me.

 

I can listen to Korn nowadays and appreciate the musicianship, and I don't know if it's just my mind trying to get rid of old associations of feeling lost and alone while listening to them, but I can't get back into them anymore. It could also have something to do with listening to them 95% of the time back then, but that's a whole different topic about excess fulfilling one's needs. When I listen to them now, I start to feel like without Jonatha Davis' vocals (no matter how much I loved them back then) seem like a detraction from the funky grooves the rest of the band produces.

 

The stuff I listen to now usually contain some philosophical perspective (such is the case of Protest the Hero who I really reccomend for lyrics that critique the State as well as religion, and personal integrity), or anything to do with personal growth and freedom like Courage My Love or Reign of Kindo, just to name a few. There's stuff I listen to just because it sounds good, but the lyrics really don't mean anything, while there are some bands I listen to who are even greater to me because there's something in their lyrics I can connect to.

 

I guess that's what I'm trying to get to here: does music affect your mood, or does your mood affect the music you listen to?

 

So I just wanted everyone else's thoughts on this topic of how we connect with music. Is it just a nice array of sound for you, or does it mean anything to you?

[ThomasDoubts]

It's funny you post this.  I was just pondering the gist of your thought earlier tonight as I was browsing through Wesley's Epic Liberty Music thread.  I can already tell I'm going to ramble a bit, so you've been forewarned.  I'll just give a run down of my music listening history and how it relates to your question.

 

My mother has been a 5th grade teacher for centuries.  When I was in elementary school, despite it being public school, I had the advantage of my mom working at the school I attended.  I loved it, because it meant I didn't have to ride the school bus; I rode with her to and from school.  She had two or three cassette tapes that rotated in and out and I was in charge of changing them if either of us were in the mood for a particular song.  If I heard any of the 20-30 songs today, I would instantly recongize them, but I couldn't name them now, with a few exceptions.  I very much remember a song I liked called, "Hang down you head Tom Dooley." (you'll have to listen to it to understand further http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BtSzcKZGzDs) The reason I remember it has to do with a confusion I always had.  I have a not too distant relationship with a man named Bill Bailey, who happens to be the last man hanged in the US.  Actually, only through marriage, it was his wife/victim who I am related too, so no worries .  Anyhow, for some reason, I always thought the song was about him because the details are pretty similar, or at least they seemed so as a kid.  So listening to the song as a child always made me feel sad.  I really liked the song, but I remember feeling bad for "Tom Dooley."  I remember thinking as the song ended, he shouldn't have killed her, because now he's going to be killed himself.  I can say with fair certainty that the song affected my mood, but it's more difficult to say whether my mood (as someone with a troubled childhood) led me to like a song about murder and what would be called justice.  I think I mostly liked it because it wasn't Aretha Franklin's, "R-E-S-P-E-C-T"  After all, I'm not a woman lacking respect; that was my mother. 

 

I remember my first girlfriend gave me a 98 degrees CD for my birthday a couple weeks after we started "dating."  I was 12-13 at the time.  I remember listening to the song, "I do (cherish you)," and it really affecting me.  DON'T LAUGH! haha.  I remember listening to the song and thinking, "yeah, that's exactly how I feel.  I really love this girl!"  Again, I know the song affected my mood when I listened to it, but it's hard to say whether my mood influenced my listening to it or not.  More likely, I listened to it because someone gave it to me, and found things I liked about it. 

 

In highschool, I was big into football and wrestling.  I lived in the school weightroom for 4 years, interrupted with a few classes here and there.  Being from a pretty rural town, the music in the weightroom was almost exclusively country.  I never listened to country music much growing up, but I embraced it when I listened to it all the time.  I started acting more country than I really was, and becoming what the songs I liked wanted me to be.  That is to say, not unlike other teenagers, I started drinking beer, doing things that made women leave me, and then being sad they left.  Also, being in the weight room, it would get me juiced up into a macho man kinda state, which was great.  Other people get hyped on Metal, Rap, or whatever.  I don't think it mattered, in that regard.  The music got my juices flowing, and set my mood, not vice versa, I don't think.

 

I went through a brief rap phase in college, mostly because my dorm neighbor, turned best friend, was half black and all into rap.  (sorry for the stereotype of black people liking rap)  In truth, it probably made me feel a bit like a gangster lol, but I don't recall ever acting gangsterish except in parody. 

 

Nowadays, I listen mostly to classic rock.  The Beatles, Tom Petty, Aerosmith, Pink Floyd, Queen, Steve Miller Band, Lynard Skynard, Janis Joplin, etc.  Again, I don't think I choose to listen to that stuff because of my mood.  The music does influence my mood, but I choose to listen to stuff, and take from it, things that validate what I believe to be true.  I don't listen to John Lennon's, "Imagine" because of my mood; rather I listen to it because it's a great song speaking truth. 

 

I guess what I'm saying is, my mood has been influenced in particular ways, at least a bit by everything I've listened to regularly.  I just try to listen to things that influence my mood positively and maybe speak some truth.  My phases of music listening have come mostly from happenstance, rather than because I sought out a particular genre/artist.  That being said, music that touches you is music you identify with, so it would be unsurprising that a depressed person would listen to depressing music, happy person & happy music, religious person & religious music, etc.  I think we look for validation in music, but I don't really know.  Confirmation bias run amok maybe...   Definately an interesting question though! 

[MysterionMuffles]

LOL 98 Degrees, that whole bit made me realize that music can also provide as thought replacement. Like it tells you how to feel sometimes, so in that regard it can be the one affecting your mood. However when you mentioned that thing about RESPECT, it works the other way that we can also actively seek out music that relate to us in order to reinforce those thoughts and feelings. Now I wonder what factors play into being on either side, as I'm sure some people tend to lean on one more than the other when they're not conscious of it.

 

Btw, your mom is more than a couple centuries old?

There's also this idea that music can induce nostalgia, as it takes you back to a simpler time. Or a more complicated time such is the case with Korn for me. I've built these associations on Korn with a troubled past so there's a part of me that can't stand to listen to them anymore for that reason. They served their purpose when I was young, but would be irrelevant to me now.

 

However, I think we also have the power to relinquish those associations in order to simply enjoy the music as its eternal being. Seven years ago when I just graduated high school, I got really into smoking pot and drinking. It was the first time in my life that I also actually started hanging out with my brother as we were becoming more friendly towards each other, I think due to our separate self knowledge journeys that began.

 

We would toke up together after family gatherings, with his friends, or even days at home (but usually by leaving the house with a lie for our parents when we just cruised around to blaze). We would listen to a band called Boys Night Out, and particularly their self titled album that has songs about the clarity one has to search for after giving up getting high, drinking another year away (which was very relevant at the time as it was around winter and new years this all happened), and there was even a song about dysfunctional relationships. I believe I broke up with my girlfriend long before he did with his, but either way, that song meant something for me, as well as drinking away the stress I was leaving behind after had graduated high school.

 

To cut a long story short, since I know I can go on forever about this period in my life, basically Boys Night Out for years to come, would be a band I associated with feeling lost and without direction. It was the beginning of a new chapter in my life where a whole variety of possibilities opened up, and that scared me inside. After that year, any time I tried to listen to Boys Night Out, I would get a bit depressed because I'd be in a better place 2008 and onward at an emotional and life situation level, so I just couldn't listen to them anymore. However, recently I put that album back on my iPod with the intention of listening for the sake of listening and it has stood the test of time. I can listen to them again without getting nostalgiac about 7 years ago. Maybe because it was more recent than say 12 years ago when I listened to Korn, I was able to dissociate from it quicker, I don't know. But basically I can appreciate the album for the eternal sound it brings forth now and not feel any unease about it unless I let my mind drift to those memories.

[Pepin]

I didn't start listening to music until 8th grade. The two bands I listened to at the time was System of a Down and Blink 182. Blink 182 I think really captures the thoughts and emotions that one has when going through puberty. I quite liked System of a Down likely because a lot of their lyrics are either ridiculous or focus on something political. I was probably somewhat the opposite of what their messages were, the lyrics really didn't influence me or get me to think, though I feel there was some small part of me did understand and listened for the message. It is always strange looking through my old papers because I find that I had all sorts of libertarian/anarchist/atheist type thoughts that were communicated in my essays, but they were in complete contradiction to myself at the time.

 

I then began to listen to a band called Hawthorn Heights and Silverstein coming into high school. They were emoish screamo bands, but the content wasn't really that bad. I really liked the guitar and screaming in the music. The screaming I just found interesting. Though perhaps the music represented some of my internal struggles, I can't really attest to it very much.

 

Metallica was next and I got quite into them. Around this time I stopped caring about lyrics so much, unless they were really good, and instead began to focus on the music. Metallica brought me in the the guitar, and actually influenced me to buy a guitar. I remember being so confused about how they even did what they did.

 

Soon after that it was Pink Floyd and Dream Theater. I think my somewhat heavy use of marijuana at the time may help to explain the Floyd as well as my friends being into it, but I am pretty certain I loved the music because the music is amazing. The song "Hey You" and most of The Wall really spoke to me, not at all on the level of consciousness though. Dream Theater really impressed me with their compositions and musical ability, it is difficult to say if there was anything deeper.

 

In more recent times it has been Rush, Yes, Led Zeppelin (in regard to really getting into them), Steve Vai, Yngwie Malmstien, and so on. I am somewhat in love with the guitar, so I think most of the music I listen to is influenced by how good it is.

 

Just to contradict myself, not too long ago I was quite depressed and stressed and I was listening to the concept album In Absentia by Porcupine Tree. A quote as to what the album attempts to do

 

"It comes from…it's related to some of lyrics. It's about people on the fringes, on the edges of humanity and society. I have an interest in serial killers, child molesters and wife beaters…not in what they did but in the psychology of why, what caused them to become unhinged and twisted? Why are they unable to empathize? It's [in Absentia] sort of a metaphor - there's something missing, a black hole, a cancer in their soul. It's an absence in the soul."

 

Not that I am a psychopath, but I did have a lot factors in my childhood that could have lead to that. Perhaps not a serial murderer, but maybe something a little more sociopathic.

[ThomasDoubts]

. However when you mentioned that thing about RESPECT, it works the other way that we can also actively seek out music that relate to us in order to reinforce those thoughts and feelings. Now I wonder what factors play into being on either side, as I'm sure some people tend to lean on one more than the other when they're not conscious of it.

 

     I didn't even pick up on this in my own post.  Doh!    Good point though, and an interesting question you raise.  I wish I had a good answer but...   yep, nothing.

 

 

     Just to make sure I understand; you and your brother would drive around getting high, while listening to music about how getting high/drunk is basically something you ought not be doing?  I might be off base here but that seems like a buzzkill.  The reason I say so, is I can really relate, but with alcohol.  At that age, I wasn't really sure how to deal with break-ups/depression so I did what my dad did- get drunk.  I'd be particularly depressed about a break-up and be drinking my sorrows away, so to speak, while listening to some depressing country music about alcohol ruining relationships, or something along those lines.  It seems pretty silly when I think about it.  Would you agree?  It's like doing something self destructive, while listening to music telling you it's self destructive, because you presumably want to destroy yourself with full awareness that you're doing it.  Does this make sense?

 

      Do you think the music propelled you into change?  Like for me, the alcohol experience I described did propel me into change, I think.  It was like I did it a couple times and had a realization: "Well this only works for a couple hours and I'm right back where I started.  I gotta freaking try something different."  That's not to say I never got drunk again, far from it.  But I never really did it with the express intention of just avoiding feeling.  It took me another non-music related realization to cure myself from drinking altogether, with the exception of a couple drinks here and there.  I don't get drunk anymore; and least not intentionally.  The lower tolerance sneaks up on me sometimes lol. 

 

      I know in the aftermath of a bad break-up I would find most break up songs, particularly the popular break-up songs at the time, to be pretty depressing.  If I allowed myself to listen to things I found depressing I felt like they would consume me.  I'd have to find something more positive to listen to, and that would help break my funk, I think. 

[MysterionMuffles]

Pepin: YES System of a Down, part of the reason why I liked them was because of their political message since I've always been an Anarchist. Their goofy songs were a good break too from the hidden anger that was brought from noticing injustice. As for Blink 182 I got into them late into my teens for a little while, just the album Take Off Your Pants and Jacket. Their lyrics were simple and graspable, they were catchy, and of course relatable like you said about puberty and stuff.

 

I also like that you mentioned that you didn't start listening to music until you were in the 8th grade, reminds me of how I didn't like the idea of music until I was 8 years old. Everyone around me listened to rap and I wasn't fond of the genre, nor those people and I had completely forgotten or just never considered other genres existed. It wasn't until playing Donkey Kong Country 2 did I start appreciating music. Even more so when I reached the Bramble Blast level where Stickerbrush Symphony, one of the best video game songs EVER, plays in the background. I loved it so much that I even paused the level for an hour just to listen to the song. They were actually gonna remove that song from the game's soundtrack, but glad they didn't, otherwise I would have never enjoyed music at least in the way it happened for me. My interest basically started with ordering the DKC soundtracks from Nintendo Power LOL.

 

Oh man I won't even get into the emo phase I was in when I also used to listen to Hawthorne Heights. One thing I found notable about them was the use of 3 guitars even though thei riffs were simple. Very whiny stuff, didn't like their 2nd album, lost interest in them, but really enjoyed their first album mostly through and through.

 

Glad that Metallica inspired you to pick up guitar, for me I can't pinpoint what band got me into guitar. Guess all of them. But System of a Down was a huge factor because I wanted to learn the whole Steal This Album (WHICH I DID) off the tab book and I even went so far as to get an Ibanez Iceman, the same guitar that Daron Malakian uses. Simple ass riffs, I never had much trouble with them other than perfecting the faster rhythms. It's the mathrock I listen to nowadays that makes me confused as to how they do what they do.

 

FalariusRex: Glad to have pointed that out then about the RESPECT song.

 

LOL not exactly songs about NOT doing those things. But you do bring up a good point about being self destructive while listening to music that tries to (or is perceived as trying to) take you away from that. The drinking song was actually promoting drinking hard and one of the lyrics even being "tonight to hell with everything else, we'll drink hard we'll drink to ourselves." But the first song on the Boys Night Out album being about the change of mind after giving up getting high, I guess that's what propelled me to change. The summer since I graduated up until that winter I started listening to Boys Night Out, I was basically getting burnt out and slowly edging away from blazing far too much. I still did to a point, and I even got my first job solely because I wanted to grab more (yeah horrible source for motivation I know, but that money was put towards better things eventually). 

 

I get what you're saying that songs can feed a negative emotion, but sometimes it can also give you perspective like yeah someone else has felt the same way, and thus allows you to feel valdiated. There was also a song on the Boys Night Out album that STILL has a hold on me unlike the others, and it's called Up With Me. It was basically about changing your ways and feeling relieved that you have. The lyrics aren't anything too special, but the chorus and the passion the guy sings with for it propelled me to change as well. "I've made mistakes they keep me company, what's up wth me? Well I've changed, it's comforting." And the bridge "there's something soothing and surreal as hell, about climbing up from where you fell, you finally get over being overwhelmed." To this day I still feel impacted by it, but not so much the songs about getting high, drunk or staying in a dysfunctional relationship. 

[Guest Exceptionalist]

I like to listen to music that empowers me in my imagination, either to take revenge and kick asses or to have grandios success. Like Nightcore - Angle with a Shotgun, Apoptygma Berzerk with In this world together or Gumi with Caramell Dansen.

[Aikenrooster]

Lyrics mean almost everything to me. That's why I fell in love with Rush, but, admittedly, if the music sucked, I probably wouldn't care. Fear Factory, Megadeth, Iron Maiden, Marilyn Manson, and Rage Against The Machine all have political lyrics, which makes them that much better.

[MysterionMuffles]

Aw yeah sometimes really impactful lyrics make me appreciate a song a whole lot more. 

[RuralRon]

I've always been into music. From a real early age I went to bed with a radio going (remember the King Biscuit Flower Hour?), I was mostly into heavy rock: Led Zeplin 2, Cream, Vanilla Fudge, Black Sabbath, Uriah Heap... Aerosmith, Kansas, Kiss, Montrose, Yes, Grand Funk Railroad, ZZ Top, RUSH!!!  Love Rush and have almost all of their collection up through around 2005. They're still going strong tho. Fantastic lyrics AND music from only 3 guys. Moving Pictures is one of my favorite CDs; love that Red Barchetta! Oh don't forget Triumph, "The magic of the melody runs through you like a stream, the notes you play flow through your head like a dream... I sing this song for the common man and the people in despair. I bring this song into the world and I sing it everywhere. This simple truth lies waiting here for everyone to share, so hold on, hold on to your dreams..." That all rolled out of my aged memory as effortlessly as Stefan can rant about philosophy!

 

It is the melody, the intricate rhythms that draw me to a song, and as I grew older the meaning of the lyrics. There were even certain vocal tones that made me feel like I could melt they struck me so powerfully.

 

I am familiar with Korn, Disturbed, Tool and stay fairly current from listening to the radio, but I don't buy music much these days. I never really got into the "screamfest" music like Korn, but I can appreciate the lyrics from Limp Biscuit and Marilyn Manson. Here's a tune I couldn't get enough of a couple of years ago:

 

 

I can tell you that two major bands I still thoroughly enjoy listening to now and then, though quite dated now are Kansas and Creed. I own all but 2 or 3 CDs from their released works. The draw for these bands was equally the music as well as lyrics. Although the lyrics have far less impact on me now, being as they are mostly religiously inspired, they take me back to two important erras in my life and set my mood to times of deep introspection. Kansas' Lamplight Symphony with it's orchestral arrangement and story still really gets my emotions churning and feeling the old man's loss of his wife:

 

 

But I also really enjoy contemporary jazz, such as Dave Coz, Richard Elliot, Special EFX, Spira Gira, Acoustic Alchemy and Peter White just to name a few. That often reminds me of my early 30s and the relationship I had back then. Man, sure dodged a bullet on that chick!

[villagewisdom]

Mostly I listen to music because it reflects and/or enhances my current emotional and mental state or "mood". However, I have purposely used music to move my thoughts and feelings to a different place.

 

My experience is that I can use music similar to a blanket or some other object of comfort. Do I want to be warmer or cooler? Do I want to cover up or uncover? Do I want to be cooler because I'm already cold and want to feel it more strongly? And so on. The music itself has no power over me (or you for that matter). However, I can use the way that the music resonates within my body to enhance any given feeling. I can also use the way the music resonates within my body to move my mental and emotional perspective to another place that I determine. 

 

The bottom line is that I still choose. I am the one that decides what I will feel. If I'm feeling down, I can really dive into that with some really sad and mournful music. Or I can pick something uplifting. Sometimes I might be so down that I really want to stay sad and fully experience that sadness. Again, It's my choice. Because I recognize that choice, I find music useful for delving into my various traumas to get in touch with my feelings.  

 

Sometimes when I'm listening to a piece of music for the first time it will evoke an emotional response spontaneously. It is my choice what I do with that. Will I investigate further into what was triggered in me. Or will I just enjoy a poignant experience because I am a human. Again, my choice about whether it is significant and needs attention or whether it is simply me being me. 

 

One final note that is not directly related to listening to music but is related to music and emotions as a whole. When I listen to music the emotion stays inside of me. When I sing the emotion moves through me and out into the world. I use singing to get myself "unstuck" from something I am holding inside. There's more to that but I will refrain from including it here. 

 

Hope that helps. And thanks for asking the question. It was a really good one for me to contemplate. 

[hannahbanana]

I listen to a lot of different music; much of it just for the sound, since I listen to most music while I work, so I'm not usually paying attention to lyrics, but I really do love a song with good lyrics, or even just small fragments that hit home for me.

However, I think the most interesting thing for me is that there are some songs that I used to listen to a lot, and when I hear them again, they make me almost feel like I've gone back to that time. I can feel what me from 2 or 5 or whatever years ago felt like. Sometimes, too, I can get the sense that I know exactly what the artist was feeling when they sang or wrote the song (the song "Nineteen" by Tegan and Sara makes me tear up almost every time).

I have wondered in the past whether this is some expression of empathy, for my younger self or for the artist.

[stephenscorzo]

Growing up I had been listening to a variety of music since my father was a musician. It was mainly modern classical music to which I had liked and still do, a couple of composers come to mind like Stravinsky, Hindemith, Anton Webern. I also grew up hearing Frank Zappa.

 

When I had gotten money I would buy Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson around late 8th Grade. When I got older I got into metal like Korn, Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and my favorite band, Exhorder.

 

I felt misunderstood, like I was a failure at things and was ugly and unwanted. I had immense hate and (still do to some degree) feelings of alienation back then. There was something therapeutic about listening to all of that.

[MysterionMuffles]

I listen to a lot of different music; much of it just for the sound, since I listen to most music while I work, so I'm not usually paying attention to lyrics, but I really do love a song with good lyrics, or even just small fragments that hit home for me.

However, I think the most interesting thing for me is that there are some songs that I used to listen to a lot, and when I hear them again, they make me almost feel like I've gone back to that time. I can feel what me from 2 or 5 or whatever years ago felt like. Sometimes, too, I can get the sense that I know exactly what the artist was feeling when they sang or wrote the song (the song "Nineteen" by Tegan and Sara makes me tear up almost every time).

I have wondered in the past whether this is some expression of empathy, for my younger self or for the artist.

 

Maybe both? I get that too. Listening to stuff I disovered maybe only 3 years ago triggers memories of what was going on in my life when I discovered certain artists. I think music induces nostalgia quite naturally since if you listen to it a lot, take a break for a few years, and come back to it, it's like an ear worm. It's been in there and the specific tune will trigger a memory and time in your life. What was going on for you the first time you started lisening to Nineteen?

 

 

Growing up I had been listening to a variety of music since my father was a musician. It was mainly modern classical music to which I had liked and still do, a couple of composers come to mind like Stravinsky, Hindemith, Anton Webern. I also grew up hearing Frank Zappa.When I had gotten money I would buy Nine Inch Nails and Marilyn Manson around late 8th Grade. When I got older I got into metal like Korn, Metallica, Megadeth, Slayer and my favorite band, Exhorder.I felt misunderstood, like I was a failure at things and was ugly and unwanted. I had immense hate and (still do to some degree) feelings of alienation back then. There was something therapeutic about listening to all of that.

 

Yeah it's like an expression of your inner noise and anger, and listening to it, someone else feels your feelings for you and you feel validated by it. That's how it was with Korn for me. The loudness and aggression was a representation of my inner state.

[hannahbanana]

Maybe both? I get that too. Listening to stuff I disovered maybe only 3 years ago triggers memories of what was going on in my life when I discovered certain artists. I think music induces nostalgia quite naturally since if you listen to it a lot, take a break for a few years, and come back to it, it's like an ear worm. It's been in there and the specific tune will trigger a memory and time in your life. What was going on for you the first time you started lisening to Nineteen?

 

 

I think it started hitting me hard a couple years after I started listening to the group..before that I just thought it was a good song. But I had just taken a long (possibly permanent) split from my boyfriend, who had been going through a very difficult identity crisis at the time and began acting like an entirely different person...but I was still in love with who he was before. So I knew exactly the kind of loneliness that was in the song, and I felt like it expressed my own feelings perfectly. Now, even though my problem has been worked through, I still listen to the song and feel the exact same feeling as I did 2 years ago. But now, in a sense, it is beautiful as well as sad.

[MysterionMuffles]

Yeah it's a contrastor to your current happiness kind of thing, right? 

 

From time to time I will listen to Korn to appreciate their musicianship and the growth I've been through since I stopped listening to them everyday.

[FireMinstrel]

For years, I could always identify(and still do somewhat) with the themes of alienation in Pink Floyd's music.  I must have watched "The Wall" hundreds of times when I was in college, and every single time I watched, I would smoke up.

I had very poor social skills as a child, and continue to experience social anxiety.  That essence of being detached from everyone really hits close to home.