My Violent Dreams

[Greg1]

I've just listened to an old video of Stefan's analysis of the Jesus Bunny Dream and I thought I would share one of my recent dreams to see if anyone had any thoughts on it. 

 

My most recent violent dream involved Bert and Ernie from Seaseme Street.  They were in bed together and they started to make out.  Ernie said something like "I love your chin".  He kissed Bert's chin.  But suddenly Ernie began to bite Bert's chin.  At first it was fine but then it became violent.  Bert started to scream in pain.  Ernie finally lifted his head away from Bert's to reveal that his chin was now missing.  Then Ernie said something similiar about Bert's nose and repeated the process of biting the nose off.  Bert was screaming the whole time but did nothing else.  The dream ended around here although I remember Ernie's face was changing a little during all of this, into what I don't know.

 

I've had somewhat similar dreams involving torture, but this one stuck out because it was the most recent and it involved Seseme Street characters since usually the characters are human. 

[aFireInside]

Sorry about that, Can you give more context about your life? 

and your environment. 

 

 

P.S: Do you smoke ? 

I heard nicotin before bed make you have violent or "weird dreams" .  

[MysterionMuffles]

Also does the show Sesame Street mean anything to you?

In particular those characters of Bert and Ernie? 

[Greg1]

Right now the biggest worry in my personal life is relying on my parents and the gov't to take care of me.  I'm an adult but I'm scared to apply for jobs and do interviews.  I'm stuck being envious of other people's ability to get jobs while I can't seem to get up the courage to even try.  I live alone in an apartment in Philly.

 

I don't smoke but I do drink pretty regularly. 

 

I used to watch Sesame Street as a child.  I know Bert and Ernie are usually considered gay characters and I am gay myself but other than that I'm not sure what it means. 

[cherapple]

What is your relationship with yourself and your level of self-attack? If you assume that every character in a dream is an aspect of yourself, both Bert and Ernie would be you. Perhaps two child parts? I see a war between loving and attacking yourself. 

[Greg1]

I think you are right Cheryl... I wasn't sure if Ernie was supposed to be my parents but maybe it just is me attacking myself because everyone wants me to get a job and I know it's that right thing to do but I keep failing to do it properly.  My parents in particular have been putting a lot of pressure on me by complaining about the financial burden. 

[cherapple]

To clarify, that would be your parents attacking you, and you internalizing the attack as if it were your own, but no one is born wanting to attack himself. Even when we do "wrong," curiosity is the solution, not self-attack. Self-attack usually creates more of the thing it's trying to stop.

 

"Ernie" sounds like "earning." Bert sounds like "burden" (?). I also noticed that Bert is helpless against the attack, which is probably how you feel against the self-attack (which you've been trained to do by your parents) and being a "burden" to your parents.

 

I'm no expert in dream interpretation. Those are just some thoughts. 

[Holo Cene]

The dream to me sounds like you have a lot of inner emotional issues, relating to self-attack. You don't even know you are doing this self attacking, which is why your unconscious is so graphic. It is trying to show you the level of your own inner dialogue which you aren't even registering. Your unconscious knows that this is a severe issue that is preventing everything else from growing. I find it interesting that they were making out, what is your sexual orientation if that's not too forward?

[Greg1]

Thank you for your feedback everyone.  I guess I have been trained to self-attack.  I remember my mother spanked me in public situations, maybe because she wanted to look like she had her children "under control" or to make me behaev appropriately.  I also remember getting mocked by my parents and older sister in my pre-teen years, probably because of my effeminate behavior.  Yes I am gay Holo Cene. 

[Pepin]

I think the other posters may of slightly picked up on this, something interesting I noticed is that bridge between love and aggression, which psychologically is a fine line.

 

 

 

My most recent violent dream involved Bert and Ernie from Seaseme Street.  They were in bed together and they started to make out.  Ernie said something like "I love your chin".  He kissed Bert's chin.  But suddenly Ernie began to bite Bert's chin.  At first it was fine but then it became violent.  Bert started to scream in pain.

 

I think this is a great example of how love transforms into aggression. Here is a good article to get an idea of what I'm talking about. I feel like this is something you are now beginning to experience, and it likely isn't easy. I am mostly speaking from my own experience, so of course I might be wrong or projecting, but I'll keep typing to see if my theory sticks.

 

Over the last eight months I have become increasingly emotional, primarily in regard to positive emotions. As I begin to approach connection, the feeling of intimacy, I find the smallest negative event can turn my thoughts and feelings quite negative and violent. It is like when you are approaching these really nice feelings of warmth and connection, stubbing your toe can convert all of that into the opposite, and the outburst is likely far more dramatic and emotion filled if you weren't all warm and fuzzy beforehand. Though I can describe smaller instances, I'll make it short.

 

I decided to give my dog a massage, and I the emotions I was experiencing were of compassion. I achieved a sort of feeling I hadn't had before. But the dog then suddenly decided to bite me for some reason, not all hard but enough to hurt, and a well of violent thoughts and emotions sprung up with the main theme being wanting to kill the dog. I had never experienced this level of want to commit violence with that sort of powerful emotion behind it. It felt so out of place and was frightening. As far as my relationship to violent thoughts and inclinations in the past, on a scale of 1-10 I'd score a 1, so now having this experience at a score of a 10 was completely new and jarring.

 

I think my main questions are, have you been experiencing more positive emotions with others which you did not in the past, and can the weight of these positive emotions all of sudden shift into negative ones?

 

If you read this and think "what the hell is this guy talking about", then feel free to ignore my theory as I am likely projecting.

[Greg1]

Your theory does make sense.  I do get anxious or violent thoughs occasionally while being around people.  Not so much around people who are close friends though.  I am feeling better about some of my relationships, but I haven't felt violent feelings right after good feelings.

[Pepin]

Are the violent thoughts triggered by anything in particular? Like is it any group of people, a certain groups of people, or does something need to happen to trigger it, like someone making fun of another, or is it just being in the group? Do you ever have violent thoughts when you aren't anxious, or is it almost always paired with anxiety? Do you feel like these are emotions make sense, or do they feel like they come from left field?

 

Sorry to ask so many questions, but I think violent thoughts are good to get a hold of, particularly what triggers them. Also, it may happen that the unscientific portion of my theory may only apply to me, which is how it is seeming right now .

[Greg1]

They're very brief flashes of anger usually followed by anxiety.  Sometimes on the street when people pass by or when I'm talking to someone.  I'm not sure what the trigger is.  I don't think there's a pattern but it's something I'll try to bring up with my therapist now that you mentioned it.

[Holo Cene]

There is probably some tie into your sexuality as they were beginning to make out before the cannibalism started. I think that anything tied to the sexual function will have dramatic impacts on the intensity and severity of the issue since the sexual impulse is so powerful. Just a thought about it, because I know that the road to sexual liberation, especially being gay is paved with the horrors of peoples hatred, judgment, and anger.

[cherapple]

I've had dreams about sex with women, and I am not gay. I've had dreams about sex with myself (sex between twin or triplet women). Before I began working on self-knowledge, the majority of the dreams that I remembered (I don't remember them often) were about sex with either men or women, most often in the form unrequited or unconsummated desire, from which I awoke feeling intense pain, sadness, helplessness, and loneliness.

 

I used to feel a lot of shame about these dreams. Now I see them as my unconscious trying very persistently to tell me I was dissociated from myself, and that the answer was to not to connect with another person, but to connect with myself. The OP's dream reminds me of one that I had about sex with a "twin," after which the woman got up and violently attacked a third look-alike woman, whom I couldn't see, but in the dream I "knew" was another look-alike. I felt betrayal and confusion about the fact that the violent part could make love to me (be so gentle, kind, and loving), and then in the next moment violently attack and beat someone else (another part of me), whose screams I could hear, but I could not get to her to stop the attack. 

 

Sex dreams aren't always literally about sexuality, although they could be. My parents definitely gave me a messed up, violent experience of sexuality from the moment of my conception and birth. 

 

Perhaps my experiences with loving, self-attacking, and self-rejecting dreams will be helpful to you, Greg1, or to someone else.

[Greg1]

Thanks for your feedback guys.  I guess I really need to figure out why I'm self-attacking and find a way to stop it.  It makes me sad that there are people trying to tear me down and I've been doing most of the work for them.