Public conversation and you just can't resist

[fractional slacker]

making a comment. I tried. I almost succeeded.

 

Setting: mid morning at 24hr Fitness locker room. I'm getting dressed and the TV is on ESPN, as usual. A story about some college kid who got pulled over for doing 110mph when the speed limit was 70mph. A guy near me first made a comment directed at no in particular something like "wow, that is pretty fast." He appeared to approve of the gun thug extortion AKA getting a ticket. I kept telling myself don't say anything. Let it go. Don't say anything. Then the guy made another comment mocking the kid for going so fast.

I put on a nice smile and gently said to the guy, "No victim. No crime. He didn't hurt anyone. Not sure why it would matter." It took him a second as if he was recovering from a body blow and he started in with the line "Well yeah, but he might have really hurt someone if he hadn't been pulled over." I looked on and listened as I walked towards the sink. I noticed another guy jump in the conversation supporting the guy I had just directed my comment at. The mood was slightly uncomfortable but not hostile.

I only wanted to say what I said and be done with it. There wouldn't be a debate. I know better. For that part I was successful.

 

Question. When do you decide to jump into/comment on a public conversation?

[Wuzzums]

Never, because I don't see them as conversations. Someone starts talking to a stranger about something they're never looking for a conversation, they're just saying "here's my point of view, please reinforce it". They're just talking to themselves out loud, and if it's addressed to someone then they at least won't look crazy.

[wdiaz03]

I agree with Wuzzums,

But I know its not the point of the thread but it seems to me that going that fast is reckless. If he would have done that on his backyard then fine with me. It seems to me like allowing people to shoot their guns in the air then waiting for someone to drop dead to do something about it. Anyways feel fee to PM me if you don't want to hijack the thread.

[ThomasDoubts]

This doesn't really have anything to do with what you're asking, I just find it interesting.  The guy in question is one of (if not) the best players in college football.  He walked away from a virtually guarranteed $20+ million dollars after his junior year to return for another season.  That blows my mind.  What is to be gained by staying in college for someone in that position? 

 

As far as when do/would I jump into a conversation like that--   if I have a different opinion and I think it's defensible, and I've got nothing more pressing on my mind.  As long as the other person doesn't come across as a hostile, or an unstable violent person, why not?  I enjoy the banter most of the time.  As long as I can make a point in a friendly manner, I like to think it gets people thinking a bit at least.  For me, humor is great for those kinds of situations.  If I can make a point, and make it funny, people tend to accept it much more readily.  I'm a big believer in humor as a means to disarm people.  If I can try to relate to them in some way, all the better too.  Sometimes I'll be almost scolded for it though, "C'mon man, it's not a joke."  When that happens, it's easy to drop and transition to a more serious argument. 

[Guest Exceptionalist]

Never, because I don't see them as conversations. Someone starts talking to a stranger about something they're never looking for a conversation, they're just saying "here's my point of view, please reinforce it". They're just talking to themselves out loud, and if it's addressed to someone then they at least won't look crazy.

 

I guess in the US of A, people are pretty vocal and love to talk to strangers. That must be just a tendency with lots of degrees and exceptions.

[MysterionMuffles]

Never, because I don't see them as conversations. Someone starts talking to a stranger about something they're never looking for a conversation, they're just saying "here's my point of view, please reinforce it". They're just talking to themselves out loud, and if it's addressed to someone then they at least won't look crazy.

 

Basically this. Talk is just talk unless it's horribly malicious and are clear plans to harm someone.

[fractional slacker]

This doesn't really have anything to do with what you're asking, I just find it interesting.  The guy in question is one of (if not) the best players in college football.  He walked away from a virtually guarranteed $20+ million dollars after his junior year to return for another season.  That blows my mind.  What is to be gained by staying in college for someone in that position? 

 

As far as when do/would I jump into a conversation like that--   if I have a different opinion and I think it's defensible, and I've got nothing more pressing on my mind.  As long as the other person doesn't come across as a hostile, or an unstable violent person, why not?  I enjoy the banter most of the time.  As long as I can make a point in a friendly manner, I like to think it gets people thinking a bit at least.  For me, humor is great for those kinds of situations.  If I can make a point, and make it funny, people tend to accept it much more readily.  I'm a big believer in humor as a means to disarm people.  If I can try to relate to them in some way, all the better too.  Sometimes I'll be almost scolded for it though, "C'mon man, it's not a joke."  When that happens, it's easy to drop and transition to a more serious argument. 

To your first point.  All I can think of is Pat Tillman. It's never easy to explain people's motivations or (lack of) logic.

 

To your second point. I think that is a great approach. I am not always that talented or creative in finding humor in something I feel strongly about.

 

Tangent. I wish the TV were not on (in the locker room) and I didn't have to hear the stupid crap they say on ESPN or GMA. I am often tempted to make comments when I hear an issue come up, but I know better. I am in a locker room, afterall.

I feel a little anxious/unsettled in that I didn't attempt to engage this gentleman in a conversation. So I sort of took a pot shot, and tried to claim victory. I am going to chalk it up as a learning experience. Don't engage strangers if you aren't going to engage. Don't take the bait even if you can slide it off the hook and safely get away. A locker room is already a place with sufficient volatile energy by just navigating close quarters with strangers in various degrees of undress.

Never, because I don't see them as conversations. Someone starts talking to a stranger about something they're never looking for a conversation, they're just saying "here's my point of view, please reinforce it". They're just talking to themselves out loud, and if it's addressed to someone then they at least won't look crazy.

Would it make any difference if I called them public banter? My experience is sometimes they are looking for conversation, not just spouting off. I could be wrong, but that's my perception.

[cynicist]

It's important to be careful in my experience because it's very easy to get sucked into these battles that you don't really want to be a part of just because you know someone is wrong. I try to remind myself that I'm not free if I feel compelled to respond to every incorrect statement, since I could waste my whole life on that. At the very least I try to draw the line around personal attacks or circular arguments, when there is no more curiosity or headway to be made in the convo.

[cab21]

oh you could have started on property ownership, and how public roads are wrong, and how the driver was the victim of the state,

state rules for the road are not unlike private rules for some private roads, where speeding can be a violating of the contract between the owner of the road, and the person with a license to drive on the road.

 

 

if you have fun with the reactions, ok

if you don't have fun, choose not to.