Am I not taking credit where it is due?

[Guest Ethan Glover]

Yesterday I created a resume website at ethanglover.biz. Today I created the front page/about me, and while I was going through my work experience stories I noticed something that I've noticed a lot off and on, but never clearly enough to pin it down. If a friend were to ask me what I learned in the military and what I gained (ignoring the immorality of joining in the first place), I would say nothing, I would say it was a waste of time. But really, as I noted on my about me, there's a lot I got from it. Especially from the Warrior Leaders Course. I learned a few basics about networks and radios and while I didn't have much of an interest in it due to my four year depression (from four years of being in the military) I do have a knowledge base to draw on.

 

Similarly, I never feel like I'm learning anything in school, but it is mostly my own fault. For instance, in my trigonometry class when I felt confused I logged on to Khan Academy and started running through things. Except, I would go back to the basics looking for knowledge gaps rather than focusing on the issue at hand which could probably be better learned out of the book because it makes sense in the context of the homework and exactly where were at. With programming, I never feel like I'm good enough and don't feel like I'm getting enough practice problems so I seek them out online. This inevitably results in taking on projects that don't necessarily help in school. You may think that doing personal projects is better, but I do want to stay on track with the college material and do other stuff on the side with extra time only.

 

Maybe this all seems unrelated but I'm thinking there's a pattern of feeling inadequate here. An obsession with a level of mastery I can never achieve? I've put a lot of effort into finding the "perfect resource" for learning things. See here and here (these lists were put together by me). I do try to focus on things, but I tend to get bored when I'm not multitasking and seeking the source for perfection.

 

Anyways, does any of this sound familiar to any of you? Could someone point me in the right direction for improvement? Or maybe you have some general thoughts? Anything is very much appreciated. Thanks.

 

NOTE: Things should make sense in the context of this post, if not it may help to read the homepage at ethanglover.biz, or of course just ask.