Ashton Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 My son is nearly 2.5years old and for Christmas he received a box-set of traditional fairy tale books. My wife and I have been reading them with him before bed, but are becoming more and more concerned about the messages that they're giving. For instance: - 3 Billy Goats: If you meet a murderer, you'll be fine. Just tell them to get your sibling. - 3 Little Pigs: When your mother has 'had enough of you', she'll turn you out to fend for yourself. You'll get threatened in your home, but it's OK because you can set a trap and kill the attacker. - Jack and the beanstalk: It's OK to steal from someone as long as they're ugly and un-naturally tall. - General messages throughout: All women are Princess-beautiful with perfect skin and size zero figures. You will have an ugly stepmother who will hate you because you're beautiful. You are helpless in life and spend your days waiting for a handsome man to come and rescue you. All bad people are ugly. All good people are beautiful. You will be punnished for being 'naughty', usually by means of death. Am I being too sensitive/unreasonable to not want my son to experience these stories?
Wesley Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 I would agree that a lot of fairy tales are terrible stories. However, that can be a conversation in itself. Who was right? Was it a good story? Are all bad people ugly? Are all good people beautiful? When is it ok to steal? You can just question things endlessly and have great philosophical and moral conversations. My understanding is that Stef does this with his daughter when they read the fairy tales called "The Bible" about "the big invisible guy" and they just talk endlessly about motives, ethics, plausibility, and more. As long as they are treated as fiction that can be analyzed and the differentiation is established, then I see no problem with it. In the past, the Bible and fairy tales were treated as at least somewhat true in an effort to scare or threaten kids into performing certain behaviors. This would be abusive. However, stories can be treated as just stories. I also would probably read ahead on some before telling them. Some stories are quite gruesome. Like Cinderella's step sisters cutting off their toes to fit into her smaller shoes and things like that. I don't know how gruesome it gets, but it might not be the best children's read. You can then talk about the story in somewhat abstract terms by leaving out some adjectives and replacing some words so you can still talk about the content without any gore that may be present. Maybe others will have different input, but this is how I would do it.
MysterionMuffles Posted January 2, 2014 Posted January 2, 2014 There are so many better children's stories out there that aren't fairy tales. So many great authors with original content continue to lose out because of the overused fairy tales. Give them a shot. There's a ton of kid's books based on real life issues like Why Johnny Has Two Daddies or Mary is in a Wheelchair Because. Sorry I don't know if those are real titles, I just remember in writing class that the content for children's books these days actually tackle real life issues that are hard to talk about, and nost just cute talking animals and other fun stuff you would expect from a typical children's book. Nothing wrong with those, but there are some real life nearly philosophically children's books out there. You don't have to waste their minds on fairy tales unless of course you are prepared for some very great discussions with your kids about them. In that case it isn't a waste of their minds. But I would stick with current stuff and let those stories of old lose traction. They are a distraction to the market of up and coming authors who want to tell something new and different.
Stoic_Dreamer Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 I was leafing through Ivan the Younger (Russian fairy tales) and encountered the same thing: so we have theft, theft again, kidnapping, and attempted fratricide among other things. I think it's important to realize what kind of stories children are regularly told and the lessons/values expressed. I do like the idea of using it as a teaching moment but finding stories where the theft, kidnapping, murder, etc is absent allows story time to just be a pleasurable experience.
ribuck Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 Fairy tales can be quite gruesome. However, the child generally identifies with the protagonist, who typically encounters some extremely difficult situation and finds a way to extricate themselves from it. That's quite a positive life message. It's usually quite clear that the people who do the most evil things are the most evil people. Underlying all of this there are some uncomfortable truths. For example, stepmothers and stepfathers are more likely to abuse a child than the child's biological parents are.
Soren Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 One of my dads favorite fairytales is about a Young lad who takes employment at a trolls farm. The troll Works him hard and dosen't feed and dosent pay him as promised so he takes revenge by basically slaughtering the trolls Family, kids first. Turning the skin indside out on one of them. I have always had a very vivid imagination but find that I am much more upset by the story now than when I was a kid.
bootoo Posted January 10, 2014 Posted January 10, 2014 No need to read things to your kids just because they were given as gifts or were in the store in the 'childrens' isle choose with purpose what to read to your kids. For example: The biggest thing you are doing it helping them develop their language skills, I would not recommend reading 8000 versions of clifford the big red dog on rotation every night then its just a negoation of 'what will my child sit through' against 'what is worth reading'
Mike Fleming Posted January 25, 2014 Posted January 25, 2014 How many women out there want to be or wish they were a beautiful princess? How many women fawn when they see a real life princess on TV, like Diana for example, or here in Australia they fawn over that princess in Denmark who came from Tasmania I think. Isn't the whole wedding thing a fantasy where the woman dresses up to be a princess with her handsome prince? They have a big expensive wedding fit for a royal family, and then go off to live happily ever after. And it always works out that way of course... So yeah, I'd stay away from fairly tales in general, except maybe to show why people believe such nonsense in society, and what believing nonsense leads to.
stigskog Posted January 26, 2014 Posted January 26, 2014 My kids liked "some dogs do" ... a dog walks to school... finds out on the way that he can fly.... his 'mates' and teacher at school dont believe him because he can't prove it. He doubts himself and feels bad, but back at home his mum and dad show him it is true. Spot the dog is a good series of books ... "Where's Spot" , "SPots First Easter", "Spot goes to the park" "Spot goes to School" (obviously not set in Sweden where it would be "Spot goes to school on the threat of being kidnapped by the state" ) Current favorite is "tikki tikki tembo"
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