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The End of Romance


Holo Cene

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I watched the recent Stefan Molyneux podcast about how the intellectual left has basically gutted the ambition of the poor through the indoctrination of hopelessness. They spout messages of how impossible it is to achieve any financial mobility. To stop working for the "man". I feel that the prevailing message against women will have the same effect. It will neuter the man's attempts and prospects before he has even fully stepped his foot out into the real world of dating. 
 
Masculinity and femininity. The divison of labor of the sexes. For many reasons these two diametrically opposed strategies offer a keen insight into the problems that men face in the world today. For all the differences between men and women, the similarities are what I am hoping to tease apart. There seems to be a lot of confusion and anger towards modern women, and ultimately this emotional baggage prevents healing and solution. 
 
Women are in this game to succeed. They are not willfully malignant, nor are they sociopathic by and large.  They are just trying to navigate the world just as men are. They are trying to find happiness and fulfillment just as men are. How this happens is the important question.
 
The mating game is as old as well, mating is. The female strategy is one that is sourrounded by the concerns and strategies of the "egg". The egg requires much more investment biologically. She takes a lot of time to make one, and she is also the one who must carry the child until birth. Females then become the choosers of males, simply because they have much more invested in each egg and therefore must choose wisely or risk physical or genetic death. She would have to choose the right man, because in the milieu of our evolution we lived in small groups. Any wrong move made the consequences quite grave. Family alliances, and infidelities and cuckoldry would have left thier scars on numerable women, the ones who were careless were mercilessly wiped from genetic history. There is a precarious balancing act in all of our emotional curcuitry. She has strict requirements for her attraction mechanism's that need to be met. Just as a man finds a lovely symmetrical face and a nice body with ample proportionate measurements, to be very attractive, she also has her attraction switches which are governed by wholly different criteria. That being said, she can only choose from the men who are brave enough to approach and attract her. She is not the one who will go out of her way to find a man, especially one who does not have the courage to even try. 
 
A male strategy on the other hand is based around the "sperm". A males sperm in comparison to the egg is magnitudes smaller, both physically and genetically. The male can mass produce sperm, while the female must carefully assemble the egg. A male can produce daily, while females do so much more slowly. He is much more inclined to desire females for their physical bodies and physical attributes because his investment is so tiny in comparison to hers, biologically speaking. This is not to say that a man will not carry water for a woman, it is just to say that women face abandonment for her child and herself with the wrong choice. For a man he just has to requeue his sperm for another cannonball run.  For the male strategy, this means one of two things; he either pair bonds and has a monogamous relationship with a single female to ensure his genetic legacy and fidelity, or he tries to mate with as many females as possible or as many females as will allow him. He does this by indicating genetic fitness, which is displayed across an expansive resume. The first one before all others, is the bravery to face failure, to face her rejection.
 
Females and males are contending with a mating paradigm unprecedented in our history. Our cities are filled to the brim with people. You could not even hope to meet all the eligible single people in your city, let alone the country. If you gave every eligible single person of the opposite sex in your city 5 minutes, it would take you 300 years  without break. There is birth control and condoms, and pornography and movies and cultural propoganda. This means that the old mating curcuitry is outdated by thousands of years. You are essentially living in the old skin of your ancestors when you should be out there learning the new paradigm, terrible perversions and all. You have to relearn how to date and mate. The goal posts are constantly being moved by society to keep the family from manifesting. To keep men from discovering that they must learn a new way each day. This leaves the mating duties taken up by braver men who ultimately use a harem based startegy because they have as much access as they have effort, and leaves good men floundering for air. They do not know how to attract women, do not understand that women have specific needs in men. There is no escape to some idealized paradise of beautiful mating cohesion. That is upon us to do. That task is upon us the achieve and work hard for.  There is no short cuts or happy endings. We make it all happen through our will and our determination in our goals, be it family or otherwise. 
 
Many males of integrity are truly finding this surreal horrorshow landscape in dating and mating. They are facing the desolation of the marriage institution and the female hypergamy treadmill in all it's glory. The danger sourrounds him, but all it is is knowledge to use as a shield. Truth to use as a sword. He must go out and discover himself in the achievment of his goals and his aspirations. He must find the woman he has always sought. He can be content with bitterness and anger at his fate, or he can discover the truth. The game was always the same, the rules have just been shuffled around. 
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They spout messages of how impossible it is to achieve any financial mobility. To stop working for the "man". I feel that the prevailing message against women will have the same effect.

 

"You cannot escape" is not the same as "Escaping will be difficult" or "If you try to escape, there is an 80% chance you will not succeed."

 

There seems to be a lot of confusion and anger towards modern women, and ultimately this emotional baggage prevents healing and solution. 

 

I cannot speak for others, but I can say that most of my life, I've treated women differently just because they were women. Sometimes it was in their favor. Sometimes it was against them. Either way it was inconsistent and dishonest about reality. I think it's healthy to be angry at a system that sells itself as justice, but administers it unevenly, by any standard. This is not the same as anger towards women for being benefactors, which would be irrational (except in a case by case basis such as a female that claims rape because she understands that people will damage her intended victim for her). Anger towards the system is the necessary first step for healing. Anger's purpose is to motivate us to action.

 

It's a process. Women were once considered inferior by "the system" and were victimized as a result. When humanity became enlightened enough to see past this fallacy, people of both genders began to overcompensate. What we have today is the pendulum in the other extreme. Men are considered inferior by the system and are victimized as a result.

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I was expecting a happy ending to that OP!

 

 

I watched the recent Stefan Molyneux podcast about how the intellectual left has basically gutted the ambition of the poor through the indoctrination of hopelessness. They spout messages of how impossible it is to achieve any financial mobility. To stop working for the "man". I feel that the prevailing message against women will have the same effect. It will neuter the man's attempts and prospects before he has even fully stepped his foot out into the real world of dating. 
 
Masculinity and femininity. The divison of labor of the sexes. For many reasons these two diametrically opposed strategies offer a keen insight into the problems that men face in the world today. For all the differences between men and women, the similarities are what I am hoping to tease apart. There seems to be a lot of confusion and anger towards modern women, and ultimately this emotional baggage prevents healing and solution. 
 
Women are in this game to succeed. They are not willfully malignant, nor are they sociopathic by and large.  They are just trying to navigate the world just as men are. They are trying to find happiness and fulfillment just as men are. How this happens is the important question.
 
The mating game is as old as well, mating is. The female strategy is one that is sourrounded by the concerns and strategies of the "egg". The egg requires much more investment biologically. She takes a lot of time to make one, and she is also the one who must carry the child until birth. Females then become the choosers of males, simply because they have much more invested in each egg and therefore must choose wisely or risk physical or genetic death. She would have to choose the right man, because in the milieu of our evolution we lived in small groups. Any wrong move made the consequences quite grave. Family alliances, and infidelities and cuckoldry would have left thier scars on numerable women, the ones who were careless were mercilessly wiped from genetic history. There is a precarious balancing act in all of our emotional curcuitry. She has strict requirements for her attraction mechanism's that need to be met. Just as a man finds a lovely symmetrical face and a nice body with ample proportionate measurements, to be very attractive, she also has her attraction switches which are governed by wholly different criteria. That being said, she can only choose from the men who are brave enough to approach and attract her. She is not the one who will go out of her way to find a man, especially one who does not have the courage to even try. 
 
A male strategy on the other hand is based around the "sperm". A males sperm in comparison to the egg is magnitudes smaller, both physically and genetically. The male can mass produce sperm, while the female must carefully assemble the egg. A male can produce daily, while females do so much more slowly. He is much more inclined to desire females for their physical bodies and physical attributes because his investment is so tiny in comparison to hers, biologically speaking. This is not to say that a man will not carry water for a woman, it is just to say that women face abandonment for her child and herself with the wrong choice. For a man he just has to requeue his sperm for another cannonball run.  For the male strategy, this means one of two things; he either pair bonds and has a monogamous relationship with a single female to ensure his genetic legacy and fidelity, or he tries to mate with as many females as possible or as many females as will allow him. He does this by indicating genetic fitness, which is displayed across an expansive resume. The first one before all others, is the bravery to face failure, to face her rejection.
 
Females and males are contending with a mating paradigm unprecedented in our history. Our cities are filled to the brim with people. You could not even hope to meet all the eligible single people in your city, let alone the country. If you gave every eligible single person of the opposite sex in your city 5 minutes, it would take you 300 years  without break. There is birth control and condoms, and pornography and movies and cultural propoganda. This means that the old mating curcuitry is outdated by thousands of years. You are essentially living in the old skin of your ancestors when you should be out there learning the new paradigm, terrible perversions and all. You have to relearn how to date and mate. The goal posts are constantly being moved by society to keep the family from manifesting. To keep men from discovering that they must learn a new way each day. This leaves the mating duties taken up by braver men who ultimately use a harem based startegy because they have as much access as they have effort, and leaves good men floundering for air. They do not know how to attract women, do not understand that women have specific needs in men. There is no escape to some idealized paradise of beautiful mating cohesion. That is upon us to do. That task is upon us the achieve and work hard for.  There is no short cuts or happy endings. We make it all happen through our will and our determination in our goals, be it family or otherwise. 
 
Many males of integrity are truly finding this surreal horrorshow landscape in dating and mating. They are facing the desolation of the marriage institution and the female hypergamy treadmill in all it's glory. The danger sourrounds him, but all it is is knowledge to use as a shield. Truth to use as a sword. He must go out and discover himself in the achievment of his goals and his aspirations. He must find the woman he has always sought. He can be content with bitterness and anger at his fate, or he can discover the truth. The game was always the same, the rules have just been shuffled around. 

 

 

No ice cream for you!

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  • 4 weeks later...

Accept Western women for what they are. Have some fun with them, but don't get caught seeking a family with them. That can lead to great disappointment. Some do want marriage and children, but leave the pursuit of that commitment entirely up to them. It is their job to sell a man on commitment. It is a man's job to sell them on his sexual attractiveness and comfort.

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I broadly agree with you Holo and I'm not sure Stefan wouldn't disagree either. I particularly liked this part.

 

Many males of integrity are truly finding this surreal horrorshow landscape in dating and mating. They are facing the desolation of the marriage institution and the female hypergamy treadmill in all it's glory. The danger sourrounds him, but all it is is knowledge to use as a shield. Truth to use as a sword. He must go out and discover himself in the achievment of his goals and his aspirations. He must find the woman he has always sought.

 

That said I think it's reasonable to point out the disparities and wake men up (so to speak), as a means to enhance their understanding and future happiness for them and their future wife and children.

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the game is demeaning, frustrating and even depressing when you don't know how to play it

 

and wonderfully exciting when you do

 

when a woman is truly in love with a man and he has set up his boundaries for high standards of behaviour, both the expectation for receiving and giving

in my experience, she will do everything in her power to please him, support him and help him be happy

 

it's just learning the skills to create that kind of set up which is the hard part in my experience, but commitment to it is worth it

a harmonious relationship is a wonderful place to grow

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