Summerstone Posted February 1, 2014 Share Posted February 1, 2014 With some help from Daniel Mackler's brilliant essay "Family: The Prototypical Cult", I delve into the dark side of the family. This one of my most raw and unapologetic podcasts yet. Well worth a listen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Exceptionalist Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 You should introduce your concept of "the spirirt" first before you say, "If it does harm the spirirt of the child, it is child abuse." Spirit is abstract but physical or cerebral damage isn't. Cerebrum = brain, and physical = concerning the body. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Beal Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Really fantastic video! Thank you Steven for putting this out there. It's definitely something that needs to be said. I just wanted to add to a couple things that you said: 1. I totally agree that it's super important to be comparing your own history not to the standards that are culturally held today, but to actually legitimate moral standards. Not only is it more accurate to think in those terms, you are much less likely to minimize your own trauma and sow the seeds for repeating the cycles (even if it's a subtle version by comparison). Because what you excuse in others, you justify for yourself. 2. The cycle of the grandiose cult parent, I think, gets perpetuated also in artificially inflating the virtue of the arbitrary edicts. They portray it like "if you obey now, you can be a cult leader yourself in the future". It's the same way in all cults, I think, where if you are as self denying as you can be for the sake of doctrine, you may become, yourself, a bishop or general or "goddess" or whatever. But in the case of parents, all you have to do is pop out a kid. At least the wannabe bishop has to work hard to accomplish his goal. The arbitrary super structures set up to allow for the passing of these grandiose torches, how artificial, how pretentious, unquestionable and "sacred", they are is a testament to the absolutely perverted thinking a child's mind has to be twisted into. A replacement for the earlier false virtues to gain the approval of parents who do not exist. They have continued the work of hollowing themselves out, and in doing so infect everyone around them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
giancoli Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 Enjoyed it and subscribed. I have to admit I'm envious of your relationship with your beautiful partner. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Fleming Posted February 2, 2014 Share Posted February 2, 2014 I thought it was great. I've long thought of my own family as a cult, I just never really considered it in a wider context until recently. But considering my mother can't think for herself and just wants to fit in, it's no surprise that it's common throughout society. The guilt that I've felt at not being able to fit into my family that society put on me did a tremendous amount of damage. All the stories about good sons who call their mother regularly, and some every day. The whole mother's day thing. It was so hard to think clearly and objectively. It's pretty disgusting when you get a clear view of this stuff as all cults are pretty disgusting. I agree with you that the world would be quite different without this cultism. Just as people who escape cults lead quite different lives to those who remain within the cult. Purging it from my thinking opened me up to all the possibilities in life that I just couldn't see before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Summerstone Posted February 2, 2014 Author Share Posted February 2, 2014 (edited) I'm really pleased to see all this feedback for the video! I think it will be important in the future to define "spirit" in videos on the subject of child abuse and the cult of the family.I also really appreciate the addendums you made, Kevin, on comparing your history to rational standards (as opposed to cultural standards) and also the bit on how the cycle of the cult parent is perpetuated. Definitely some good stuff I could expand upon in future work, so thanks!Giancoli, on the envy, I've often thought about how to help philosophical/self knowledge oriented men bridge the gap between themselves and the women out there who have some self awareness but don't yet have the philosophy nailed down. It's a tough subject. I'm actually considering testing a couple of my theories with some experiments that could be really interesting if I were to put them into video form. I'll stay mum on that for now since it's in its nascency. For what it's worth, there are many parts of me that are very much in love with my partner and the communication we share is so rewarding and nurturing. I hope you can have the same in your life soon. (Thanks for subbing!)Mike Fleming, I'm so glad you've come into the light of philosophy and self knowledge and stepped away from the cult that bound you with guilt. I can really empathize with wanting to fit in but never being able to. Rebellion is not freedom, it's a reaction against tyranny. Thanks for giving my work a listen. Edited February 2, 2014 by Summerstone Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mike Fleming Posted February 4, 2014 Share Posted February 4, 2014 Mike Fleming, I'm so glad you've come into the light of philosophy and self knowledge and stepped away from the cult that bound you with guilt. I can really empathize with wanting to fit in but never being able to. Rebellion is not freedom, it's a reaction against tyranny. Thanks for giving my work a listen. Thanks. The family as cult really strikes a chord with me. More and more I've realised that the true problem in my family was my father not so much my mother. My mother is a hysterical narcissist, but she's essentially just like a dumb machine that largely doesn't know any better. Really, I think she belongs in a mental institution. The real damage was done by my father. He normalized the behaviour and made it seem OK. He is is reasonably intelligent, but also a pathetic little boy who gets attacked by my mother in much the same way my brother and I have been. But I think, without him, I would have seen my mother as crazy in my mid 20's and moved past her then. With him working on me, I was always questioning whether I was the crazy one or not. With the way society reinforces the cult mentality, and no-one around to validate my experience, it was extremely hard to think straight. It kind of reminds me, looking back, of the way I've seen in cults where when someone is thinking of leaving it won't be necessarily the cult leader who talks them out of it, but an intelligent, weasly, subordinate. That's what it was like for me. My mother was not in any way charismatic, but when she has society reinforcing her, it doesn't matter so much. And it's not like the standard cult where you just get away physically and you are largely safe and removed. Because in today's society you will always be asked, "what about your mother?" and told "maybe you should get in contact" and all that. Whereas no-one would say that the cult member should get back in touch with the cult leader. There is nowhere to run to escape from the cult of family. Except maybe FDR. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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