dsayers Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 I grew up amid divorced parents who both inflicted Christianity on me. So I've been exposed to the concept of humility almost all of my life. To me, it seems as if humility is mostly encouraged to reduce the amount of effort parents, priests, and politicians have to put into shrinking you as a person. I made this case to a friend and he had a reply that I really like, but am not so sure how accurate it is. It was used in the context of being the opposite of narcissism: "[humility] means that you do not think yourself better than others" I decided to look it up for some clarity and as I suspected, it's synonymous with lowliness, meekness, and submissiveness. For the sake of accuracy, I wanted to look deeper into this. I was hoping you guys could help by offering your perspective. Thank you for your time.
Seleneccentric Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Edit — removed the post, not qualified to speak on the subject
Eva Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Hello dsayers. You're right, humility is one of those words... The problem is almost always that values are detached from reality—such philosophies or worldviews are false—and the reference is others, not the truth. The only humility I accept is that before the truth. If the truth is that you are "better than others", according to whatever standard, then only a dishonest, manipulative and narcissistic person would disregard it in order to adhere to a second-hand judgement like "I am not better than others"—they always secretly believe they are. It is precisely because false values are illogical and set with reference to others, that they place an emphasis on "how you think yourself". But reality is what decides what you are, not your judgement. Humility before reality is not a tool of control just like real authority—based on superior knowledge or skill—isn't.
LanceD Posted February 3, 2014 Posted February 3, 2014 Well let's start with a definition of the word. I got this by Googling "define humility" Humility A modest or low view of one's own importance; humbleness I think the word 'importance' is of particular significance in the definition. So when people suggest you practice more humility I would ask myself. What benefit would this person get from me viewing myself as less important? Many times the benefit, in my opinion any way, is simply that as you lower yourself they are in turn raised up. So often times the people who hope to hold power or influence over you benefit greatly from you practicing humility. So while I very much believe being able to accurately and objectively assess your own knowledge and capabilities is of great importance. I do not think it is healthy or beneficial to you to lower how important you feel you are. That seems to me like you are just being setup to receive abuse.
dsayers Posted February 10, 2014 Author Posted February 10, 2014 I posted this thread as I was drafting an email reply to the friend I was having this conversation with. When I went to proofread the email, I refreshed the thread and the first reply was already in place and absolutely brilliant. I revised my email to ask my buddy to check the first reply out at least. He's been impressed with what philosophy has done for my ability to think and I felt the first reply here dwarfed my own intellectual capacity. Imagine my sadness to revisit the thread only to find that post has been eliminated. It's the second post (that I've seen) by you that was amazing and later rescinded. Interestingly enough, during our conversation of humility vs narcissism, he had shared that he had learned that part of his shyness came from narcissism. He explained that sometimes being shy is a way to manage people's perception of your reputation before they can even form an opinion. I think that "I am not qualified to discuss" might make a useful edit or disclaimer. But not as a reason to erase the entire post, particularly after it received an upvote and therefor clearly was of value to somebody. For those who missed it, I will try to summarize as best as I can, though I will not be able to do it justice. Basically the post stated in regards to specific skills and abilities, people are in fact not as good at something as others are, but are better than others. So we could not both claim to not be better than the other and accurately describe the real world. And that for people to be the same in general would mean having the same level of skill in all things as everybody else. I appreciate all the feedback and hope a little bump might invite more.
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