Xtort Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 Stefan mentioned in one of his podcasts that a school decided to address bullying by eliminating rules entirely and see what happens, and the result was a drop in bullying entirely. I just wanted to share a similar experience I had. I took my son to the park where he quickly found some other kids to play with. One of them had brought a toy, a fairly large truck, and they were all taking turns with it. One of the children who was a little bigger than the others decided to start slamming it on the ground, taking it to the top of the slide and dropping it, etc. My son told him, the kid who owns that toy doesn't like that, stop it, you might break it. The disruptive child said okay that's fine, he stopped for a little while, and then he started up again. My son again tells him, look, you're going to break it, just stop. He agrees, play continues, but then the child does it again. At that point I'm ready to go talk to the boy's father, but my son finally put his foot down and basically said listen, if you don't cut it out, we're just not going to play with you anymore at all, this is your last warning. After that, the boy continued playing with the truck, but the disruptive behavior stopped completely. He even started getting along better with the other kids. This was years ago, my son was maybe 5 or 6 at most, but the memory has stuck with me.
dsayers Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 I smile literally every single time people address issues with voluntary solutions. Thanks for sharing that. And kudos to you for modeling assertiveness in such a way that your son was able to handle that so well.
Nerburg Posted February 4, 2014 Posted February 4, 2014 This thread is the reason I'm sad that there's an up vote limit
Nala Posted February 25, 2014 Posted February 25, 2014 Thank you for sharing this story. Your sons actions are direct reflections of your parenting. I'd like to congratulate you! I wanted to ask your opinion on an aspect of child care that I have struggled with on my last Nannying jobs. I am an On Call Nanny which grants me the privilege of interacting with a variety of families and meeting a lot of beautiful little people. When I am with the 2-5 year olds, I feel pressure from parents to use physical force in controlling their little bodies from running too far away in their yard, not staying "on-task", interrupting conversations with tugging and yelling, etc... I livw in a highly concentrated area of conventional medical professionals and state workers who believe virtue exists in the claimed authority of parenthood releasing them from all forms of judgement on their parenting of course. Since I work from an agency, I represent a group of people who will do whatever it takes to make their customer happy. When I disagree with a parenting style, I miss out on the money and experience due to my choice not to work for such family. So, I wonder what you do to express the respect for the child while instilling trust in the parent that I am not irresponsible, unassertive or neglectful?
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