nifty side-effects of pursuing self-knowledge

[dsayers]

I don't recall exactly when it started, but I've noticed for awhile now, my mind is constantly lit up by song. Any time there's a moment of rest in my mind these days, some song is playing. Often VERY random and can even include songs I haven't consciously heard in many years.

 

Don't know if it's because I'm happier now due to virtuous living through principled adherence to the real world. Or if instead it's just the result of all the audio absorption I engage in, I just don't hear as much music as I used to. Whatever it is, the being stuck in music mode is almost never an annoyance, so I think it's rather neat.

 

Anybody else suffer from some nifty side effects as a result of reversing the propaganda mill?

[Bastii]

That's interesting, I experience this too, but I see it as some sort of unconscious reflection. Maybe the lyrics of the particular song are important to a situation I'm in or something happened in the past while this song was playing and the memories are coming up again.

Can you relate to this or do you experience it differently?

[LanceD]

I experience the same thing. Often times songs I haven't heard in years just start playing in my head while I'm working. It's very nice.

 

I suspect it's due to my new peace of mind. The world no longer weighs heavy on me and my mind is not constantly preoccupied with problems and stressors. So it is free to fill the void with whatever it wants while I'm not actively using it.

 

That reads funny but it's the best explanation I can come up with!

[LovePrevails]

I can make accurate guesses about how people were parented based on them telling me what they feel anxious about and they are often impressed and want to know what I know to be able to do it which makes it easier to spread the knowledge because I have credibility.

[Prairie]

I find that if I have a song running in my mind, it's generally the last one I listened to, even if it was days ago that I last listened to one. When I unpause the music player days later I'm sometimes surprised that it starts playing just what I had been hearing off and on in the days before.The biggest effect (maybe not side-) I notice is much less worry over missing out on something by ignoring news/TV/radio/traditional life plans. Years back I felt like I was missing things by not watching movies, TV shows, etc.

[Kevin Beal]

I don't have the music thing. At least not consistently. Although, Raffi's Baby Beluga popped into my head the other day. A song I hadn't heard in like 20 years.

 

Not sure if it's a good thing or not, but something I noticed that happened for me was that I cry now during almost every movie I watch. And I mostly watch comedies and action flicks, so... 'splain me that!

 

I watched the movie Brave by Pixar and seriously cried like 10 times.

 

I've become a very tender guy compared to before.

[cynicist]

Not sure if it's a good thing or not, but something I noticed that happened for me was that I cry now during almost every movie I watch. And I mostly watch comedies and action flicks, so... 'splain me that!

 

I watched the movie Brave by Pixar and seriously cried like 10 times.

 

I've become a very tender guy compared to before.

 

Me too! Except I tend to watch dramas so it is a bit more expected. Sometimes I am really feeling for the character in the movie but other times it feels more like some aspect of myself or my life being reflected in what's going on in the scene. It's weird because I tear up but I know it was only originated by the film, and then I don't really know exactly why I'm crying lol. Something to explore the next time for sure.

[Prairie]

There are a few movies that when I describe the story to a sympathetic listener, I just break into tears. Also some (all-instrumental) music that just listening to causes that, whose melody also evokes for me a story as I hear it. I've examined this and it's very clear that they are matching some kind of unresolved trauma. This has lead me to examine my watching of movies that move me less dramatically, and at this point I'm pretty sure that it's basically all just connecting with unresolved issues. That is, I don't anymore think that a movie can create emotions, that if I lack unresolved things around some area, a movie touching on that won't move me emotionally at all, and just seem a relatively uninteresting jumble of interactions between people.

[Kevin Beal]

Also, sadly, I've been increasingly dissatisfied. The things I was content with previously became much less "fulfilling". The better I get at my job, at philosophy, at self work, the more behind I feel I am. It's frustrating because I keep expecting to reach satiation of some kind and it never comes. It would be humbling if it weren't so frustrating.

 

How much we don't know that we don't know. And I think that's what draws people in: finding out what they don't know.

 

I desperately want people to tell me what I don't know. I'd rather feel ignorant than not even know that I'm ignorant.

 

And those people who respond with actual consideration when confronted with their own ignorance are people who I regard highly. Those who actively resist considering it are people who I'm (very slowly) learning to spend less time engaging with. And since I value it and crave it, I give the people around me the same opportunity now: the opportunity to be totally ignorant. And what a gift that is, haha

 

Before, I avoided rocking the boat like crazy. I was praised for being non-confrontational and got the reward of listening to people vomit out their own crazy at me, covering me in it. Which I guess was sort of therapeutic for them, but it certainly wasn't helping me to grow organically in my own way under the light of the real sun.

 

Now social awkwardness feels less unbearable and more interesting. And life is really fucking awkward, so I think that's progress, haha!

[dsayers]

I can sympathize with that. I knew it would be a process with no end. I just wish it wasn't all like "I want to do A, B, and C but once I do A, I realize there's a D, an E, and a ZZ I should do before continuing on."

 

Or what I really find frustrating is you do A, B, and C, but doing C makes you realize you forgot A and need to revisit B. It's kind of neat, but it can be a bit exhausting. I'm hoping the "fatigue" is just bad habit withdrawal and that in time, it will be weaker and easier to manage.

[Brock H]

I don't recall exactly when it started, but I've noticed for awhile now, my mind is constantly lit up by song. Any time there's a moment of rest in my mind these days, some song is playing. Often VERY random and can even include songs I haven't consciously heard in many years. Don't know if it's because I'm happier now due to virtuous living through principled adherence to the real world. Or if instead it's just the result of all the audio absorption I engage in, I just don't hear as much music as I used to. Whatever it is, the being stuck in music mode is almost never an annoyance, so I think it's rather neat. Anybody else suffer from some nifty side effects as a result of reversing the propaganda mill?

Wow that's crazy I "suffer" from something similar. I started listening to FDR last year. Since then I have noticed I sign, hum, and whistle songs. I don't think about it it just happens. Also I started singing to my dog which Idk if he appreciates or not.