LovePrevails Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 Often when people are enthusiastic about something and they share it with others people piss on their parade by telling them to "Be careful" or pointing out all the things that could potentially go wrong and deflate them. Parents, especially anxious ones, often do that to their kids. Two questions:1 1) Do you remember any positive experiences of you brining and idea or project or gushing about anything you were enthusiastic about (new gf, job, car, anything) to another person and having them respond in a way that encouraged you or in another way that you really liked? If so what did they do and how did it make you feel? 2) Supposing someone comes to you and are enthusiastic about something but you have skepticism or doubt about the idea, how would you honour their enthusiasm and not deflate them while still being honest about your reservations? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JKCGilbert Posted February 11, 2014 Share Posted February 11, 2014 1) My mom is really good about being encouraging when she hears whatever I have going on and tactful when she doesn't think things are a good idea or sees hole in it. There are a million examples of her doing that, sorry I can't think of just one. I think it is because she will ask questions and discuss it with me, instead of generic 'good for you' or 'you go girl'. It's the engagement into the conversation that is more important than anything. It makes me feel confident. 2) I would try to ask questions in a genuine way, because, usually, either they are going to find the holes themself in the conversation, or fill them in for you. If I can not be genuine, I will try to find a way out of the conversation. I would rather someone be tactfully negative than give a BS response when they do not believe in what I am doing. Sincerity is much more important to me. I try to surround myself with people who feel the same way. One of the biggest examples of people who love to deflate others, to me, is mothers talking to mothers-to-be. Especially about childbirth! I was told many times I would not be able to go drug free and should just give up, and how horrible it would be, and how many things could go wrong. It was impossible to express enthusiasm about it around most people. Thankfully I did not listen to them and had an amazing experience. I always try to remember that. I always wondered what they were getting out of telling me I couldn't do it, and dang sure couldn't enjoy it... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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