LovePrevails Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 I'm trying to compile a quiz for people to assess the quality of their friendships I've just done the "so far" in short the quiz can be answered for a friendship group as a whole, and then for individual friends people can also assess themselves as a friend according to the criteria Negatives: never rarely sometimes often always Does my friend put me down? Does my friend put me down in front of other? Are they jealous when I spend time with others? Are they jealous of my acheivements? Do they take the wind out of my sales by immediately pointing out flaws in my aspirations? Do they bring up parts of me they want to change? Do they take more than they give? Do they use guilt, shame or fear to motivate me to do things I otherwise wouldn't want to do? When you express your preferences and set boundaries do they ignore them? Positives: never rarely sometimes often always When I attempt creativity or projects do they encourage me or discourage me? When I say that something is getting me down do they listen well? Do they ask questions to broaden my thinking? Do they give honest feedback on how they perceive me? Do they express gratitude for things I do for them? Do they treat you in accordance with ways you have expressed a liking for being treated? I'd rather people used their own creativity (or relayed content in their own words) rather than post links.
dsayers Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 Do they bring up parts of me they want to change? Do they give honest feedback on how they perceive me? Aren't these in opposition? If we're friends and I'm a thief, wouldn't bringing this up as part of me you'd like to change be a good thing? I had a similar question about your question: "Do they take the wind out of my sales by immediately pointing out flaws in my aspirations?" How do you know this is a "negative" (I think you meant undesirable)? If a friend said, "I'm going to end world hunger," wouldn't asking them how they're going to do that lead to them either having a better approach to it or revising it to be more realistic? I can't speak for others, but the greatest gift a friend could give me is challenging me. To challenge me is to be honest with me in a way that society says is rude when it isn't. To add to the thread, I think the greatest measure of a friend lies in how honest you can be with your emotions with them. It will quickly reveal if they value you as a person or if they are only using you to suit their needs.
Prairie Posted February 21, 2014 Posted February 21, 2014 A few that come to mind: NegativesDo I bring problems with my friend to others, without first talking to my friend directly?Do I regularly have criticisms to give about minor aspects of my friend?PositivesDo I talk to my friend directly about problems I'm having with them and generally resolve them?Do I think of this friend when I need someone to talk to when stressed?
GRosado Posted February 27, 2014 Posted February 27, 2014 I'm trying to compile a quiz for people to assess the quality of their friendshipsI've just done the "so far" in shortthe quiz can be answered for a friendship group as a whole, and then for individual friendspeople can also assess themselves as a friend according to the criteriaNegatives:never rarely sometimes often alwaysDoes my friend put me down?Does my friend put me down in front of other?Are they jealous when I spend time with others?Are they jealous of my acheivements?Do they take the wind out of my sales by immediately pointing out flaws in my aspirations?Do they bring up parts of me they want to change?Do they take more than they give?Do they use guilt, shame or fear to motivate me to do things I otherwise wouldn't want to do?When you express your preferences and set boundaries do they ignore them?Positives:never rarely sometimes often alwaysWhen I attempt creativity or projects do they encourage me or discourage me?When I say that something is getting me down do they listen well?Do they ask questions to broaden my thinking?Do they give honest feedback on how they perceive me?Do they express gratitude for things I do for them?Do they treat you in accordance with ways you have expressed a liking for being treated?I'd rather people used their own creativity (or relayed content in their own words) rather than post links.The second question in the positive category isn't answerable with the choices you give
aya Posted March 3, 2014 Posted March 3, 2014 the greatest measure of a friend lies in how honest you can be with your emotions with them. It will quickly reveal if they value you as a person or if they are only using you to suit their needs. I totally agree with this, though I've never understood the concept of friendship, I have no friends, I know people and they call me their friend, and say I am their friend!but when I ask them what the requirements of being a friend is they just tell me the things I do when I help strangers on the street!so I guess I'm everyones friend! lol
LovePrevails Posted May 6, 2014 Author Posted May 6, 2014 Hey I think these 10 tips for improving relationships are really worthwhile https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xItTCWLnRHQ&feature=youtu.be&a
LovePrevails Posted July 29, 2014 Author Posted July 29, 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ferxd-AN6Bs#t=67
MysterionMuffles Posted July 29, 2014 Posted July 29, 2014 When I RTR, are they compassionate and curious about my feelings, or do they try to reframe it as it's my fault for having these feelings and that I should stop having them? When I debate them, do they keep their cool and answer as reasonably as they can, or do they insult my intelligence by dodging questions and scoffing at them? When I present a vulnerability to them, do they alter their behaviour to keep it in consideration, or do they take advantage of that point of vulnerability by prodding at the wound of it? When I present a problem to them, do they take the time to empathize and ask me questions, or are they quick to offer solutions? When I want to talk about our friendship and where it's going, do they take the time to open up or do they just make any excuse to dismiss the conversation? I had to ditch my last two friends for being inconsiderate and exemplifying the latter behaviours in each of my questions...
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