nine_owl Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 This is a great talk. It explores the attachment relationship and why parents that are deeply connected to their children parent from a natural "alpha" position w/o resorting to coercive tactics. Highly recommended. If you happen to be a person who reactively resists ideas, suggestions or requests from others (unless a genuine relationship exists) this is highly relevant for you too as an adult. Counterwill #1 - http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNjc5MTMwMjMy.html?x #2 - http://v.youku.com/v_show/id_XNjc5MjIyNjY4.html?x Enjoy
dsayers Posted March 8, 2014 Posted March 8, 2014 I'm currently looking into a way to rip these and chop up the audio for personal use. For reasons I won't go into, this is going to take me a bit of time. While I wait, I wanted to talk about the source of this material. I haven't been able to find any other instance of this online and his 10 minute intro on Youtube talks about going to his site to gain access to it. Basically, I was wondering if once I get the audio chopped up, is it something I would be able to distribute for others? Or is this material that is intended to be behind a paywall?
nine_owl Posted March 10, 2014 Author Posted March 10, 2014 Did anyone get a chance to watch? I'm curious to hear people's comments.
corpus mentium Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I've just made it through the first part of the first video so far. In the magic marker experiment it was interesting to hear him comment similarly to Alfie Kohn on the counterproductivity of providing rewards as a means of motivating children to do what someone wants. I also noticed how by triggering a child's counterwill, non-peaceful parents are inadvertently setting events into motion that would ultimately lead to them spanking the child for doing the opposite of what the parents said. I think this information will be extremely important to know regarding interactions in voluntary relationships as well as during intervention encounters with parents being violent with their children. It's really wonderful to see that someone has put a lot of thought and effort into this counterwill response. I wonder how many others can relate to the situations he describes. I know in my case that I recognized this response quite early on in my life in my interactions with my parents and elder relatives. One example from my early twenties was when one of my sisters did something nice for me and just as the words "thank you" were about to pass my lips my dad aggressively ordered, "THANK YOUR SISTER!" That thank you quickly dried up in that moment and turned into a irritated spoken "No" and a thought of "Go fuck yourself" to my dad. What an asshole for completely robbing my thanks of their sincerity. After my saying no he became quite ferocious and started commanding my sister as to how she should never do anything for me again. After we were out of his presence I thanked my sister and explained why I couldn't do it in the moment with him around. She said she understood.
cab21 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 dead poets society look like a good example of counterwill
stigskog Posted April 8, 2014 Posted April 8, 2014 video 2 - 33:40-34:28 onwards "If a child has to put on a seatbelt, you know... that's part of what happens...the first while he really rebels.. he is full of counterwill , but if he has a sadness about the futility of resisting those in charge , after a few times he adapts to this and children have the ability to adapt to all kinds of things, but if the tears get stuck, if there's no sadness there, the child does not adapt, so we have many adolescents who still rail against the normal rules and restrictions and expectations in society. The futility of resisting that has never sunk in " I might be misinterpreting this, but it made me uncomfortable, and sounds to me like - "break them while they are small to maintain the STATEus quo"
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