Omega 3 snake oil Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 A while back I listened to Stef's podcast on the truth about Paul Walker. I had no idea about the man's predilection for underage girls. I then heard a later podcast in which a caller questioned Stef about what he would do if his daughter at around that age began seeing an older man, which I thought Stef handled perfectly: “she won't speak the language of dysfunction,” meaning she won't be charmed by this type of individual because she will understand only loving, stable, respectful relationships.Full disclosure: I'm a 32 year old man. About a year and a half ago I got out of the long term relationship with a woman who was two years older than me. I've always dated women around my age or slightly older and since becoming single I've continued to do so. And in doing so I've come to question the value in dating so-called age-appropriate women.And no, I'm not justifying Walker or any grown man having a relationship with a 16 year old girl. But 22, even 20…? Sure, why not.Listen: I value intellectual connections in all my relationships, friendships or otherwise. But if the potential for intellectual/emotional connection does not keep in step with a woman's chronological age, then there is little to no incentive to date women around my age.Clunky but accurate: I find that our current cultural paradigm encourages women (maybe men, too) to stay “Forever 21”. So, say I meet a 21 year old and then a 31 year old, there's only a marginal increase in maturity and sophistication in the older of the two. And with the older of the two, I'm getting someone (typically) less physically attractive, more emotional baggage, less ability to produce oxytocin i.e. form loving bonds due to a greater number of past sexual partners. And the list does go on. Either way, I'm likely getting a woman so ridiculously self-absorbed that real kinship is off the table in the first place. And I'm positive I'm not going into these things with a closed mind/heart; I approach with an open mind and open heart and I keep seeing the same result.So, what say you? How young is too young? I've heard the rule is half your age, plus seven (for me that's 23).
june Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 personally i found stefan comments on this topic to be totally bizarre, considering his unequivocal advocation and respect for "voluntary choice"
Omega 3 snake oil Posted March 13, 2014 Author Posted March 13, 2014 personally i found stefan comments on this topic to be totally bizarre, considering his unequivocal advocation and respect for "voluntary choice" go on...
dsayers Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 So, what say you? How young is too young? I've heard the rule is half your age, plus seven (for me that's 23). The question cannot be answered because any answer based on numbers doesn't even address the factors that matter. Like the ability to negotiate, defer gratitude, know one's self, etc. There were a couple of threads discussing this. I think one was the thread for the Walker video.
june Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 go on... i thought my point was self-evident, apologies. i find stefan's comments beizzarre because he seems to thoroughly condemn relations between old & young people, and even goes so far to say that "how can you expect a 16 year to make that kind of decision, their brain still has 10 more years of development to got through" (paraphrasing).so it seems like a huge contradiction with his prominment stance and respect for "voluntary choice", because how can he advocate voluntary choice and then condemn it in this situation? and even go to say that a 16 year old "cannot" make such a decision at all because they brains aren't developed enough (does that mean 16 year olds don't have voluntary choice?)?
MartV Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I think Stefan's bizarre comments here are just a result of his heterosexual orientation which always drags along with it male disposability and double standards. Women are delicate flowers of purity, and men are wild beasts of perversion. He still thinks like that subconsciously and this was only augmented and reaffirmed with the birth of his daughter.
cab21 Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 his girlfriend at time of death was with him for 7 years
june Posted March 13, 2014 Posted March 13, 2014 I think Stefan's bizarre comments here are just a result of his heterosexual orientation which always drags along with it male disposability and double standards. Women are delicate flowers of purity, and men are wild beasts of perversion. He still thinks like that subconsciously and this was only augmented and reaffirmed with the birth of his daughter. i'm don't believe this is the issue at hand, to be honest (or at least not in regards to this topic).stefan stated that 16 year olds are 10 years away from full brain development, and so they can not make rational decisions in regards to who they have relations with. these claims were not gender specific -- they were age specific.
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