Jonathanepperson Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 I was babysitting these two little boys once –one 8 one 5, - and the older one grabbed one of the knives - it was a really big knife- from the kitchen and started to chase his brother around the room with it. I took the knife away and placed it on a tall shelf along with all the other knives I could find. He started to climb the shelf and got a lot farther than I thought he would. I took him off the shelf and told him he was just going to hurt himself if he kept trying to get the knives, he started to climb the shelf anyways. This last time I spanked him. He stopped trying to get the knives. Looking back on it I can understand a little why he acted the way he did, his family was crazy. But right then and there with me baby sitting and having no way of changing his past and being the only to stop him from killing himself or his brother, was it wrong that I spanked him?
dsayers Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 Do you think it was wrong that you spanked him? Assuming he was smaller than you, couldn't choose to leave, or was indirectly dependent on you (he was all three), then yes, it would be immoral to assault him. If he is initiating the use of force in trying to get a weapon with which to threaten others, then using force to stop him would be justified. Given the power disparity listed above, that defensive force only needed to be you obstructing his access to the knives. Assuming the parents left for you a way to contact them, I would've called them and informed them that they needed to return home immediately. Once they arrived, I would've informed them that I refuse to be responsible for or otherwise involved with an 8 year old that has been taught that grabbing a knife and terrorizing a 5 year old is normal. I think if I were a babysitter, I'd want to get to know the parents, the child, and witness their interaction to avoid entering that difficult situation in the first place. You are correct that from your position, there is nothing you can do with that limited access to correct the problem. However, assaulting him only managed the symptoms. It actually exacerbated the problem, which nobody has the legitimate right to do.
Prairie Posted April 6, 2014 Posted April 6, 2014 If he is initiating the use of force in trying to get a weapon with which to threaten others, then using force to stop him would be justified.Appropriate force. In this case, putting the knife in a locked container/room. If he continued trying to get dangerous things, confine him to a room where there isn't anything dangerous. If he continued or started trying to harm himself, restrain him. And all the while, of course, try to be receptive to anything he's trying to communicate.I took the knife away and placed it on a tall shelf along with all the other knives I could find. He started to climb the shelf and got a lot farther than I thought he would. I took him off the shelf and told him he was just going to hurt himself if he kept trying to get the knives, he started to climb the shelf anyways. This last time I spanked him. He stopped trying to get the knives. [...] But right then and there with me baby sitting and having no way of changing his past and being the only [way?] to stop him from killing himself or his brother [...]That he stopped when you spanked him doesn't show that it was the only way, simply that it stopped whatever behavior you were having a problem with in the moment. If this were the only criterion, then spanking could be claimed the only way to solve anything unwanted by adults: child eating dessert first? Spank him. Child speaking out of turn? Spank him. Child running around when you don't want him to? Spank him. etc.
J-William Posted April 7, 2014 Posted April 7, 2014 Appropriate force. In this case, putting the knife in a locked container/room. If he continued trying to get dangerous things, confine him to a room where there isn't anything dangerous. If he continued or started trying to harm himself, restrain him. And all the while, of course, try to be receptive to anything he's trying to communicate.That he stopped when you spanked him doesn't show that it was the only way, simply that it stopped whatever behavior you were having a problem with in the moment. If this were the only criterion, then spanking could be claimed the only way to solve anything unwanted by adults: child eating dessert first? Spank him. Child speaking out of turn? Spank him. Child running around when you don't want him to? Spank him. etc. Spanking is the swiss army knife of bad parenting...
SuzieDavis Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 spanking HITTING is wrong in any context unless you are protecting yourself. which you werent. put the knives up where he can not get them and sit and explain stuff to him. if i were the parents and knew you did that (assuming we instructed you not to hit) id call and file charges on you.
James Dean Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 Did you at any time try reasoning with him? It sounds as if, from the way you worded your post, that he was just some maniac who had one goal in mind; getting the knives and the minute that you turned your head he bolted for the kitchen to obtain his weapon, as if this was the sole thought that occupied his mind. Kids don't really work like that. I think there was at least 10 or 15 minutes in which you could have engaged in a conversation with him and asked him why he wanted the knives/explained to him the dangers of playing with knives. Kids aren't maniacs, they just don't know about it, obviously he didn't want to hurt anyone, yet you inflicted violence against him.
dsayers Posted April 11, 2014 Posted April 11, 2014 It wouldn't appear that the initial post was an important inquiry. It's the person's only post and his profile says he hasn't been active since he asked it.
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