Guest Mags Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORCOn97I2ko I really have to applaud Stef. He had real grit telling it like it is to the 'mum' and the following callers. I really admire and wish I could do that to people in my life. So few stick up for children and the quality of their parenting. I know Stef does this regularly and vehemently but this particular show really hit it home for me. I'm in awe. The statistic of 1 in 10 not being the real father makes me very sad and angry. I'm a woman myself and I really cannot fathom. Just had to express that, I don't have much else to say. I haven't even finished watching the video yet haha, back to it. The mother's call begins at 38:19
Lians Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I listened to that show earlier today. After Stef's chat with the working mum and the white knight who came to her defence I realized that I've become used to a quality of callers that is unmatched outside FDR. Did you notice how the white knight came in strong and fierce yet backed away the moment he realized his shit won't fly with a philosopher? It happened in a split second when Stef was about to point out his lack of integrity. Apparently, apologizing for a false accusation is too much to ask for these days.
Prairie Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I'm loving watching this because Stefan is visible and I can see his soundless head-shaking "WTF?" that matches mine as the caller reveals how out of touch they are with reality. It was interesting because the caller at one talked about she doesn't feel guilty about it. I think that's at the center of this: how can I do all these expensive past-times without feeling guilty about neglecting my kids? It was disgusting when she said how her kids understand why she doesn't spend much time with them, as if that will mitigate the effect on them. She only took 7 weeks off work when each child was born. 7 weeks?!? I love Stefan pointing out that other people are spending more time raising her kids than she is. Other people spend more time every day with them than she does. It's very powerful and shows that there's a mentality that you don't parent kids, you just produce them like a product that requires such and such ingredients.
J-William Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I thought it was just ridiculous when she said that the children understand. I mean did they understand at seven weeks when their mother left them with someone else to take care of them? Honestly I thought the whole show was superbly done on Stefs part. I don't think there's any way you could inspire me to spend my time sitting on my computer working when I could be spending time with my daughter. I mean if the caller is happy with the quality of people in the world today then I guess it would make no sense for her to strive to make her children the kind of people that she wants in the world. But for me I don't like most of the people in the world, and raising a beautiful wonderful daughter that doesn't even know what abuse is makes the world a much better place.
Guest Mags Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Response to Lains: Indeed. It's interesting having different callers to the usual. Sometimes frustrating but no matter. Response to Stef: No problem Stef! Response to Prairie: Nodding my head. Especially agree on Stef pointing out that other people are raising her kids. I remember back in school when I first heard that teachers spend more time with the child than their parents. It really struck me. Then much later my mum tells me about how she disliked some of my teachers (small town; she could get a sense of them). So she not only handed me off to practically-strangers, but ones she didn't even like. Response to J-William: m-hm. I'm very happy for your daughter, that she has such a wonderful father. It makes my stomach well.
PatrickC Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Yes, I thought it was the bravest show you've done to date. Discussing a taboo topic for which many people are often way too emotionally invested in the opposite view. But also doing it on someone elses show and with a much wider less knowledgable audience than usual. Bravo indeed! I think a show on 'white knighting' should be next. Some guys really need to be told the truth about the effects they have. Well said lians!
Ancient Mariner Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I find it disturbing that the woman caller compared herself against the lowest type of parent to make herself look good. I bet that she will have much higher standards for her own children when they start attending elementary/high school. When/if one of her children comes home with a bad mark, could you image her saying "oh well since my kid is not a drug addict failing every single grade then he must be a good student"
Ivann Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I feel taken-aback every time Stef raises his voice or I can hear anger in his voice. In those moments I'm flustered and tend to put up defenses thinking that he should be more compassionate to those people. Although, every time I think about those moments and sleep on it I always realise that those moments when Stef gets angry are justified.
MMX2010 Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 I feel taken-aback every time Stef raises his voice or I can hear anger in his voice. In those moments I'm flustered and tend to put up defenses thinking that he should be more compassionate to those people. Although, every time I think about those moments and sleep on it I always realise that those moments when Stef gets angry are justified. Have you thought about talking with Stef on a call-in show about this? Also, if you PM Joel Patterson - http://board.freedomainradio.com/user/13721-joel-patterson/ - I swear he had the exact same issue with Stef, and participated with him in a call-in show about it. (I just can't remember which call-in show that was, and I figure Joel will have a much better idea.)
Guest Mags Posted April 16, 2014 Posted April 16, 2014 Discussing a taboo topic for which many people are often way too emotionally invested in the opposite view. But also doing it on someone elses show and with a much wider less knowledgable audience than usual. Bravo indeed! When the mother started with her story I immediately thought "oh boy, is Stef gonna have to mealy mouth his answer?" So glad he didn't. Of course he wouldn't. Response to ancient Mariner: Indeed. Theres always someone doing a worse job then you. It means nothing to point at them. Especially in a field so infinitely important as raising a child. I feel taken-aback every time Stef raises his voice or I can hear anger in his voice. In those moments I'm flustered and tend to put up defenses thinking that he should be more compassionate to those people. Although, every time I think about those moments and sleep on it I always realise that those moments when Stef gets angry are justified. From my amateur opinion It sounds like some issues from your past are coming up. Have you examined them? Calling in would certainly be a good way, but don't forget you can also journal and work it out in other ways. A discussion with the guy MMX2010 mentioned seems like it would be fruitful. Sadly I don't remember which call-in show he participated in either, or I'de link it. Anyone else reading this who can remember?
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