GRosado Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 (This is to all the men) Ahh, you ever find a woman who is beautiful & has an awesome personality? Well I did & I have been talking to her only to find out that she has a boyfriend. My chances are crushed under the boot of lost love & it doesn't feel good. Is there anyone out there who can relate?
PatrickC Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 My only question would be why did you allow your feelings for her to escalate, before finding out she had a boyfriend?
GRosado Posted April 19, 2014 Author Posted April 19, 2014 My only question would be why did you allow your feelings for her to escalate, before finding out she had a boyfriend?She never mentioned it & I thought it would go somewhere. But it's my fault for not asking earlier.
PatrickC Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 She never mentioned it & I thought it would go somewhere. But it's my fault for not asking earlier. You do have my sympathies mind, but my experience tells me, if there is an attraction then make it clear the moment it occurs. It will avoid a lot of heartache and confusion believe me. Obviously I don't know the full circumstances surrounding this relationship you had. But also try to avoid becoming second fiddle to a ladies (or a mans, in a women's case) poor self esteem. Those types will merely use you for their own ends.
Wuzzums Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 All is not lost. If she is as great of a catch as you say she is then you can use her as an asset. I may not think that a male can be "just friends" with a female he's attracted to but such a thing is possible if the female is committed to another relationship. It's a catch-22 type scenario, if she is a great catch (looks, self knowledge and everything else) and she is in a stable relationship then you cannot possibly have a romantic relationship with her because if you did then it means she's not in a stable relationship, which means she doesn't have much self knowledge, which means she's not a great catch, which means you can't really form a stable romantic relationship with her. She is an asset because women know women, and similar people tend to cluster. So if she's into self knowledge and other great things, her friends must be too. You can ask her to introduce you to one of these friends. Win win.
RyanT Posted April 19, 2014 Posted April 19, 2014 She is an asset because women know women, and similar people tend to cluster. So if she's into self knowledge and other great things, her friends must be too. You can ask her to introduce you to one of these friends. Win win. An error occurredYou have reached your quota of positive votes for the day. Absolutely brilliant advice mate.
tjt Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 All is not lost. If she is as great of a catch as you say she is then you can use her as an asset. I may not think that a male can be "just friends" with a female he's attracted to but such a thing is possible if the female is committed to another relationship. It's a catch-22 type scenario, if she is a great catch (looks, self knowledge and everything else) and she is in a stable relationship then you cannot possibly have a romantic relationship with her because if you did then it means she's not in a stable relationship, which means she doesn't have much self knowledge, which means she's not a great catch, which means you can't really form a stable romantic relationship with her. She is an asset because women know women, and similar people tend to cluster. So if she's into self knowledge and other great things, her friends must be too. You can ask her to introduce you to one of these friends. Win win. Very clever and logical approach, Wuzzums. Seems like it would work unless the fellow has already become fixated on the taken girl, then he'd just be dragging another person along what will become an emotionally messy ride. In that case though, it would be something completely different than you've described... like using a person to get close to their friend.
Wuzzums Posted May 12, 2014 Posted May 12, 2014 I have to put a disclosure in, I just extrapolated the data. I never met a good woman through a good female friend. However, I did meet the same kind of person over and over again through female acquaintances of questionable quality. I really hope the opposite is as true.
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