aFireInside Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 This is how my Macbook defines it infantilize |ˈinfəntlˌīz, inˈfan-| verb [ withobj. ]treat (someone) as a child or in a way that denies their maturity in age or experience:seeing yourself as a victim infantilizes you. Here is a video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yJGGZS04Uus
Three Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 This was so cool, guys. Thanks again everyone for the call and thanks Ivan for recording and editing. Great stuff.
aFireInside Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 Yeah it was a great conversation, its rare for me to talk to great people like you guys ! I just realized that the video cut off !!! Ill have to put the rest in another video sorry Part 2: Currently its processing by the time you click on it it would most likely be complete. Let me know your experience of the video! Thank you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmQYeUjfWIg&feature=youtu.be
Three Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 here's the song I was talking aboutinteresting fact, this was the 2nd most expensive film ever
aFireInside Posted April 22, 2014 Author Posted April 22, 2014 here's the song I was talking aboutinteresting fact, this was the 2nd most expensive film ever Wow ! Thanks for posting this, I feel lots of anger towards this video because its a true interpretation of my mother. Well the disney version
Kevin Beal Posted April 22, 2014 Posted April 22, 2014 It was a very enjoyable chat. Thanks for setting it up Ivan! And thanks Joel and Mark too!
LovePrevails Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 Hey great conversation guys, this really helped clarify the concepts for me and relate them to my own experience! My girlfriend also drew my attention to that Mother Knows Best song because she thought I'd be interested in it we watched the movie, it's definitely worth a view! The theme of children being isolated from the world seems to be cropping up a lot in children's movies these days with Tangled, Frozen, Coraline, can you think of any more?
cynicist Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 Oh man this is cool, I like the spontaneous organizing here. I'd love to join you guys for a convo sometime! I have to agree that infantilization is worse than being neglectful, it's actively destructive in the same way that a vampire or leech feeding off your body and sapping your energy would be. The worst part is how subtle it is: If you challenge it you will hear something disarming like, "but I care about you, I just want the best for you!". It's much harder to process for the child and fight against. The comment you made comparing the intelligence of infants to that of dogs struck a chord with me, because I always felt more like a pet than an individual with my parents. They did the bare minimum for me and would yell and hit when I displeased them. I have a cat myself that I feed and clean up after, and it makes me wonder why they bothered to have children rather than get an animal. At times he's loud and annoying if he wants something from me, but obviously I don't do much more than play with him a little and let him outside. He can be cute but that's pretty much the extent of what he's capable of bringing to the table. The parallels to my childhood are stunning. (The McDonalds example was hilarious btw) I'm off to watch Tangled now lol.
Kevin Beal Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 The comment you made comparing the intelligence of infants to that of dogs struck a chord with me, because I always felt more like a pet than an individual with my parents. They did the bare minimum for me and would yell and hit when I displeased them. I have a cat myself that I feed and clean up after, and it makes me wonder why they bothered to have children rather than get an animal. At times he's loud and annoying if he wants something from me, but obviously I don't do much more than play with him a little and let him outside. He can be cute but that's pretty much the extent of what he's capable of bringing to the table. The parallels to my childhood are stunning. I'm very sorry about that. It's a horrible and dehumanizing thing to do to anyone, many times more so to a child. And I think you analysis is spot on, for what it's worth. I hope there is another call setup soon and that you can join us
cynicist Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I'm very sorry about that. It's a horrible and dehumanizing thing to do to anyone, many times more so to a child. And I think you analysis is spot on, for what it's worth. I hope there is another call setup soon and that you can join us Thank you for the sympathy. How weird, I just realized that I wasn't sad when writing my post; It was more a matter-of-fact thing, like I'm a scientist talking about the results of some study I did. I sometimes catch myself thinking that there are too many, "I'm sorry about that" kind of responses, and that this makes them seem less genuine. I just realized we are all susceptible to old patterns all the time, and maybe repetition isn't such a bad thing in this area. (It's not like we're going to get it many other places)
Kevin Beal Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I sometimes catch myself thinking that there are too many, "I'm sorry about that" kind of responses, and that this makes them seem less genuine. I think I know what you mean. And think that I agree. In fact, I've almost completely stopped saying that to adults about their adult lives. If we say "I'm sorry" or "I love you" or other kinds of connecting phrases too much and too readily, it does diminish it, for sure. I think that goes too for phrases that aren't as important as those, like compliments or words of encouragement, etc. That being said, yelling at and hitting a child like you were an animal is definitely something that warrants those words. It's not a reflexive "I'm supposed to say this here" kind of thing, I am truly sorry.
aFireInside Posted April 25, 2014 Author Posted April 25, 2014 Oh man this is cool, I like the spontaneous organizing here. I'd love to join you guys for a convo sometime. Cool, my Skype username is ivanlares . We are planing one for this Sunday if you are interested
cynicist Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Cool, my Skype username is ivanlares . We are planing one for this Sunday if you are interested I'm there.
Three Posted April 25, 2014 Posted April 25, 2014 Oh man this is cool, I like the spontaneous organizing here. I'd love to join you guys for a convo sometime! I have to agree that infantilization is worse than being neglectful, it's actively destructive in the same way that a vampire or leech feeding off your body and sapping your energy would be. The worst part is how subtle it is: If you challenge it you will hear something disarming like, "but I care about you, I just want the best for you!". It's much harder to process for the child and fight against. The comment you made comparing the intelligence of infants to that of dogs struck a chord with me, because I always felt more like a pet than an individual with my parents. They did the bare minimum for me and would yell and hit when I displeased them. I have a cat myself that I feed and clean up after, and it makes me wonder why they bothered to have children rather than get an animal. At times he's loud and annoying if he wants something from me, but obviously I don't do much more than play with him a little and let him outside. He can be cute but that's pretty much the extent of what he's capable of bringing to the table. The parallels to my childhood are stunning. (The McDonalds example was hilarious btw) I'm off to watch Tangled now lol. I'm really glad you found the discussion valuable! And like to know what you think about Tangled after you watch it. Also, on the topic of cats, did notice the line in the 'mother knows best' when Mothel Gothel calls Rapunzel her "pet"? Hey great conversation guys, this really helped clarify the concepts for me and relate them to my own experience! My girlfriend also drew my attention to that Mother Knows Best song because she thought I'd be interested in it we watched the movie, it's definitely worth a view! The theme of children being isolated from the world seems to be cropping up a lot in children's movies these days with Tangled, Frozen, Coraline, can you think of any more? I'm really glad you found the discussion valuable! I cant think of any other movies, though.
cynicist Posted April 27, 2014 Posted April 27, 2014 I'm really glad you found the discussion valuable! And like to know what you think about Tangled after you watch it. Just finished it and I wanted to drop a few thoughts I had. It's amazing how far children's movies have come, I'm actually jealous of what they get to watch lol. Tangled was better than a lot of adult movies I've seen that rely on violence to keep things remotely interesting. (and generally fail imo) I watched it to see the mother you guys were talking about but found myself laughing quite a bit, especially during the scenes with that lizard. I also felt moved emotionally more than I expected. The mother was as horrible as I imagined. The undermining, denial, manipulation, shutting down of conversation, and generally irritable nature are all recognizable. The only difference between her and my own mother was the teasing (though I got that from others), and the fact that mine not only talks about how dangerous the world is, she fears it herself. I loved the one part of the 'Mother Knows Best' song where Rapunzel hugs what she thinks is her mother and it turns out to be a mannequin. Fantastic symbolism but clearly understated and rare in the film. The other one that clearly stood out in my mind was how Rapunzel's 'mother' used her hair to stay young, which is analogous to how some parents use their children as dumping grounds for their toxic shame/rage/guilt in order to feel better. Seeing the conflict in Rapunzel about leaving was really interesting, the feeling of guilt or shame, I mean. I know it was done in a light-hearted way for comedy's sake but I'm glad they hinted at it a few more times later. The hysteria of the mother over her daughter leaving the tower had me cringing... They nailed that bit for sure, as well as her wide-eyed stare when Rapunzel confronted her about the truth of her history. There were a few minor aspects of the film I didn't like but for the most part it was really honest, which is why it had to be made as a children's film. I think just like comedy in general, it is acceptable to say certain things in this medium only because it allows adults an excuse to dismiss it. Just like when something is labeled 'childish' in a derogatory way. Great film with a really good ending scene involving the 'mother'.
Recommended Posts