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Posted

I recently went back and dug up some old music that i listened in my youth, When i was in 4-5th grade. 

 

I spoke with Joel about how music that i listened to when i was a child brought up anger emotions in me. 

I explored this further and there was this song that i use to listen to constantly in the home where i was abused. 

 

Here are some of the lyrics that stand out to me. 

 

Come on, step inside, and you will realize....

What's your vision?

You'll see, what do you expect of me?
I cant live that lie

 

Hey!

I've sick mom,
With a fucked dad.
Dealing with your life.

 

really want me to be a good son. Why?

You make me feel like no one.........

 

Free me of your life, inside my heart dies.

 

 

 

Here is the video: 

 

 

The melody in the beginning is a melody that is played to babies or children. 

I listened to angry music because i wasn't allowed to express anger in my environment. 

Posted

We were owed having our emotional needs met. To be deprived of that is something to be angry about. I still dont feel like I've fully processed my anger, though. But, there's another feeling I'm processing from this, which is horror. I also have a hunch that the fact you picked this korn song, the one where a lullaby baby bedtime melody is played, after we had a conversation about infanttilazation and how it is rejecting a human's personality as if  they are "no one" and how your mom turned your brother into her surrogate husband, isn't accidental. Infantilization and emotional incest is terrifying and sick.  Also, i'm sorry man. you deserved a warm place where you could talk about whats on your mind. home is for healing and for expressing our feelings. just some thoughts. maybe youve thought of this before. what do you think? 

Posted

As an avid Korn listener in my teens, that is also why I listened to them. They were my loud and repressed anger left unexpressed. The lyrics I most identified with were the ones on the Untouchables album. When I have time, I might do a rundown of which songs were the most connectable to me and which ones I even cried to because I felt so overwhelmed with life and those songs just said what I needed to hear at the time.

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