Ivann Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 Hi All, I would like to post up this message to see what others have to say about something which has been occurring to me in the last 7 days. Over the last weekend which happened (Easter long weekend here in Australia) I partied for 4 days straight from Thursday till Sunday. In this time a lot of things happened internally. I came to a lot of realizations about lots of areas of my life. Id like to talk about a couple and see what you guys say. The biggest problems I have in my life are the following - I'm 25.5 and have never had a GF, Only kissed one girl, Still a virgin been on no dates with girls. I can talk to girls and guys and from the outside you might think I'm an open person and am not Forever alone but I cant escalate anything with women. - Literally have nearly no money. I have a few assets still to get rid of but really bad financials atm. (not in debt thankfully) - No career prospects, working in menial jobs like factory work or low-end it jobs. I feel I have so much to catch up on and missed the last ten years of life to get all of the above sorted. The feelings that I'm getting include lots of anger, sadness, frustration, confusion, being afraid of die-ing without living, lack of understanding, feel like crying every 6 hours or so or when I think of the above, want to vomit but dont, anxiety. The reason why I realized all of these things when partying over the weekend is all of the different situations I put myself in. I for once actively went out and tried to talk to all new people. Some interactions went good, some bad. I could have escalated with certain women (to have a dance with them or whatever) but didn't I didn't take certain opportunities that I had. I didnt stand up for myself enough in tense situations with other men. I ended up the 4 days with new experiences and lots of insights into myself. I did manage to get one girls face book which was on the Sunday night right at the very end - that small interaction went great. FML Its all coming together now and all of the masturbating/porn addiction problems I've had, stuffing around with life, not taking charge of life, eating my problems away is coming back at me. What FDR has done for me is shown me the bad side of my parents, how I was treated as a child but I cant seem to get out of that situation mentally. I'm still stuffing around with life and its like I cant take it. I'm not thinking of suicide or anything but I just need to vent. Guys I'm really feel like shit in life. I think all of these feelings I'm getting now are telling me to do something about it before its too late. any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
dsayers Posted April 23, 2014 Posted April 23, 2014 Thanks for sharing. I know it's not easy to allow yourself to be so publicly vulnerable. I'm seeing mixed messages. It began with your title. Life-crisis sent up a red flag for me because it speaks as if it's something that "just happens." Much of your post speaks as if you blame/attribute yourself for your experiences. You did mention the "bad side" of your parents, but that's kind of vague. I think self-knowledge would be a great first step. It's hard and uncomfortable, but focus. What do you mean by bad side of your parents? How did this impact the way you developed, the decisions you've made, etc? Journaling, reading, therapy... in other words, seeking external sources of help will be very helpful. But you need to stop punishing yourself for the effects of things that were done TO you. This will lift a huge burden and help you to process everything. Hope that's of some use to you.
cynicist Posted April 24, 2014 Posted April 24, 2014 I have to agree with dsayers. It's really weird to read your post where you talk about these problems in total isolation. As if it's some weird thing that happened to you which is not at all connected to your history. I mean you mentioned your parents but not in connection to any of the problems you are talking about. It's just a vague, "how I was treated as a child". Why did this stuff happen and what's stopping you from taking action now?
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