Raisin' Brannans

[drewbran]

Hi my name is Andrew Brannan.  I am new to FDR and a father of 3 boys, Grant (6), Noel (4), and Myles (6 months).  I am married and my wife is currently at home full time with the youngest two children and I work full time as a nurse, so my hours are compressed into a few 12 hour shifts and I'm able to spend copious time with my children as well.  My wife and I are committed to the principles of peaceful parenting, non-spanking, no penis cutting, and the nurturing of emotional and moral development along the lines of openness, acceptance, and rational guidance -- not coercion, random punishments, shouting, and callous disregard for childhood emotional turbulence that requires patience, not urgency from parents.  My wife and I apply positive discipline and other philosophies/good parenting ideas to fit the growth and independence of our children.

 

I was committed to the principles of proper parenting intellectually, but have continued to suffer from issues relating to anger (including a recent confrontation with my neighbour which he called the police after confrontation based on my hostile reaction to his criticism of putting snow on his lawn), and depression and anxiety.  Listening to FDR I came to the sudden realization that I had been ignoring the fundamental source of all my issues.  (Incidentally, I realized my neighbour triggered my anger toward my father.)  Well, I had not been ignoring the problem (my own parents and/or the internalization of negative childhood experience), but I was believing that I "must stand heroically above any influences and my rational mind must be fully in control" as well as continuing to make apologies for my own parents' behaviour and therefore I was continuing to live my parental alter-ego and failing to feel deep connection and empathy with my children -- that is, despite my intellectual committments for being a "good parent". 

 

To make a long emotional story short, I have been trying to get off antidepressants and my recent deep depression was actually very useful because I realized that the medication I was taking was also suppressing my anger.  The meds were preventing me from getting angry at my parents.  So maybe the meds have been suppressing the anger at my parents which I initially felt as that anger turned inward -- years of feeling empty/depressed.

 

I was drawn to FDR after hearing Stefan Molyneux on Peter Schiff and I appreciate his philosophical perspective.  Perhaps the following is an expression of the feelings of rejection I routinely feel throughout life, but when I heard Stef make some off-hand comment about Objectivists being "robots" I was thinking, "what the hell is he talking about? That's just some knee-jerk ass-tard reation uttered by internet sophists" but it was shortly later that I realized that I, myself, did internalize Objectivist philosophy in a way that I was treating my mind as an entity like a detached, platonic soul without any inputs from childhood.  This rationalistic internalization seems like it flowed naturally from the more religious orientation of mind and emotions that I internalized from childhood.

 

Wow, that's powerful stuff.  I'm feeling a sense of what it really means to bring purpose and empathy into parenting.

 

I would like to call in to the FDR show sometime because I think it would be a fantastic conversation.  I think it would be fun to articulate a clear point of disagreement and to see if Stef and I can push the boundary of pursuasion in either direction.  In the meanwhile, I'm going to check out some of the files and peruse the forums.

 

Cheers,

 

Andrew