Omegahero09 Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 For as long as I can remember, my father has always drilled it into me to think. My earliest memory of this was being a little kid, I don't know the age but I do know I was way too short to be pushing a shopping cart. My mother and father and I were perusing a grocery store, and I wanted to push the cart. They let me, and for a little while I was doing okay- not hitting anyone, not tipping anything over, staying with my parents, stopping and moving along with them. Until I saw a pile of beans- a tall floorstack of red and gold cans of beans. I had to knock the thing over, naturally. It was tall and no doubt very heavy, so I needed a lot of speed to knock it over. Well I charged the thing and knocked it over, almost tripped over the cans rolling on the floor underneath me and the cart which had shook and skipped to the tile floor. I immediately understood I shouldn't have done it, so I turned in fear to my parents. Mom was shocked and a little scared, with her hands to her face. Father though was furious, he got to me very quickly, jabbed my chest (it didn't physically hurt, though it was jarring), then grabbed my arm and said in a charged whisper: Think! After listening to the Stef and hours and hours of his work, I connected this memory to my current... habit I think to call it. I've noticed that as I have grown older I can't rest my mind. It's always turning over information and ideas, to the point where I get distracted from my world around me, try to then experience what's around me (for example, just watch game of thrones without thinking about the lighting in the show, or what the actor might be thinking etc), then realize I'm thinking, then try to keep experiencing Repeat ad absurdum, ad nauseum. See I used to have this emotion all the time which I dubbed "childhood" for the lack of a better name. It was the emotion of wonder and awe, in a full enclosed experience- without almost no words spewing up from my mind. I haven't experienced this in years- my mind cuts itself off from those emotions with thinking. And since as I've grown older I can't even watch tv or movies any more without thinking about the movie, then thinking about my thinking about the movie etc etc etc Keep in mind this... thing I do is only about superficial stuff, it literally is thinking about things, for the sake of thinking about something. Even the wife says I think too much. She's smart, she sees me do it, sees me caught up in myself. I don't know how to shut this off, when I do it, it gives me anxiety, makes me paranoid, and I turn to easy things just to make it stop, instead of other more productive stuff. It dominates most of my day, every day. I'm sorry for the long post, but anything on this would be hugely appreciated. What do you think forum?
RuralRon Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 I often experience a milder form of what you describe and it makes it difficult to get to sleep. My first impression raises the question, how did your wife come into your life, and how did you allow your emotions to take priority over your otherwise dominant cerebral activity? You must have been capable of being "out of your mind" so to speak, or be emotionally present enough with her to captivate her interest. Could you possibly stir that emotion and passion again and train yourself to therefore focus more on emotions to balance the thinking? Hey, I could be way off base here, this is just my gut reaction. After all, I'm just another guy on the Internet...
cynicist Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Father though was furious, he got to me very quickly, jabbed my chest (it didn't physically hurt, though it was jarring), then grabbed my arm and said in a charged whisper: Think! It makes sense to me how this memory is connected. When a parent threatens you like that and doesn't explain anything, as a kid you are left trying to figure everything out yourself. I was cringing reading that and I know I've been through many similar situations, sorry to hear it happened to you. My mind is also very active but I don't see it as a problem. (except when it prevents me from sleeping lol) I do sometimes have to be aware that I haven't relaxed in a while and set some time aside for that. Sometimes I like to just sit and flex my fingers or toes, or run my fingers down the palm of my other hand and feel the sensation. I think any physical activity would be a good idea. It's like I'm taking the time to appreciate the wonder of my body instead of just being in my mind. (since I often had to escape to my mind while growing up, because what I felt in my body was too overwhelming) I think that trying to force yourself to experience something, shut it off, or dominate it is only going to make the problem worse. Obviously getting the root of the issue psychologically is an important step to take but some body-focused action might help. Have you tried meditation at all? By that I just mean sitting somewhere with little external stimulation and allowing yourself to think and feel, maybe even focusing on your breathing if you find the passivity unbearable. You don't even have to be in a sitting position, I prefer laying on my back in a bed/hammock since it's more relaxing for me.
Omegahero09 Posted May 7, 2014 Author Posted May 7, 2014 I often experience a milder form of what you describe and it makes it difficult to get to sleep. My first impression raises the question, how did your wife come into your life, and how did you allow your emotions to take priority over your otherwise dominant cerebral activity? You must have been capable of being "out of your mind" so to speak, or be emotionally present enough with her to captivate her interest. Could you possibly stir that emotion and passion again and train yourself to therefore focus more on emotions to balance the thinking? Hey, I could be way off base here, this is just my gut reaction. After all, I'm just another guy on the Internet... Thanks for replying Ron, We met in school, like most of my generation, and our relationship is fantastic. On our second date she pointed out that I think too much, and too much into things. She didn't mind it, and she's always pushing me to better myself- especially the things I set out to do myself, as I do with her. However this habit had been going on since before her... so I think they are mutually exclusive. She is my escape, more often than not. There's nothing wrong with stirring more emotion and passion however, so I'll take some steps to stoke the old fire even hotter, thank you I think that trying to force yourself to experience something, shut it off, or dominate it is only going to make the problem worse. Obviously getting the root of the issue psychologically is an important step to take but some body-focused action might help. Have you tried meditation at all? By that I just mean sitting somewhere with little external stimulation and allowing yourself to think and feel, maybe even focusing on your breathing if you find the passivity unbearable. You don't even have to be in a sitting position, I prefer laying on my back in a bed/hammock since it's more relaxing for me. I have yes, but I haven't experimented with it as much as I should. Do you take the deep, relaxed thinking practice for meditation? Or the still mind meditation practice? Both are difficult for me :/ As for the psychological root... I think that's where the answer and key lies... but I'm not sure where to go to find those things. I suppose I need to 'let go' more often. Training the mind to be quiet is difficult, it's always commentating on something, always existing in some form of ad absurdum meta.
cynicist Posted May 7, 2014 Posted May 7, 2014 Do you take the deep, relaxed thinking practice for meditation? Or the still mind meditation practice? Both are difficult for me :/ As for the psychological root... I think that's where the answer and key lies... but I'm not sure where to go to find those things. I suppose I need to 'let go' more often. Training the mind to be quiet is difficult, it's always commentating on something, always existing in some form of ad absurdum meta. I don't even know what 'training the mind to be quiet' would look like, sounds vaguely insulting lol. I don't view meditation as a very formal practice, like I don't "clear my mind" or whatever. I either try to observe my thoughts in a passive kind of way if I want it to be mind-oriented or focus on my breathing if I want something more body-oriented. I think I know what still mind is, but what's the thinking practice?
Omegahero09 Posted May 7, 2014 Author Posted May 7, 2014 I don't even know what 'training the mind to be quiet' would look like, sounds vaguely insulting lol. I don't view meditation as a very formal practice, like I don't "clear my mind" or whatever. I either try to observe my thoughts in a passive kind of way if I want it to be mind-oriented or focus on my breathing if I want something more body-oriented. I think I know what still mind is, but what's the thinking practice? Training the mind to be quiet and the still-mind practice is the same thing. It's the traditional meditation of Buddhism, where the objective is to empty the mind entirely for a short while to "be one with the earth" or some spiritual thing like that, it's been awhile since I've looked into it. However the practice itself has been widely reported to have health benefits, there is even a great Ted Talks about "thinking about nothing." Buddhists believed it was necessary for enlightenment, science says it's healthy for the mind. I like it to be a tool of discipline, the practice amazes me because I can't come close to a "still mind." However thinking meditation is the looser less formal mediation, whereby you relax and solely think about one object/concept. Like, visualizing having more confidence in your life, or seeing yourself doing well on your next math test, or how you're going to ask the red head out. This practice is more commonly known as self-hypnosis. It's objective usefulness depends on the person I think, and I have had some success with it, just not with this over-thinking habit I have. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qzR62JJCMBQbam
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