A trauma to overcome...

[RicardoMata]

I decided to make this topic to expose and try to deal with my traumas and I hope you could participate. Even if no one sees this topic i have at least expressed my thoughts and emotions.

 

I have this issue around people, for some reason, that makes me very anxious whenever I try to talk about me, my thoughts and feelings and when I in fact do in fact express myself I feel very bad and anxious and I become fearfull of the other persons response. This problem makes me very reluctant to engage in social interactions as well as making me sound and act like a robot because I have to evade certain words, expressions and actions which is very stressing.

 

Other horrible implications about this consists of reacting  in a negative fashion when people respond to my thoughts (i don't always act on it because i know some people are trying to help for example i tend to get mentaly hostile to some things that Stefan says but the way he speaks disarms my defensive mechanisms) and the inability to differentiate between abusive responses and genuine spontaneous and healthy responses.

 

Maybe it's just the kind of people i'm with....Any thoughts on this ?

[tjt]

It might have something to do with the people you have relationships with now, but think about the first relationships you ever formed-- the ones with your parents. This is what shapes our future relationships, so I would look into your childhood to find the source of the issue. Here are a few questions that might help begin this process:

 

What was your relationship with your parents like when you were a child growing up?

 

When and how did they punish you?

 

Were your parents supportive of you or were they judgmental?

 

Did they expect you to live/think/feel certain ways... meaning did they pressure you to conform to their preferences, or did they encourage you to express your own emotions and thoughts?

 

When you are thinking through these questions on your own, it's best to try to remember specific examples from your past, rather than answering with things like, "our relationship was ok." That way you can keep digging.