Magnus Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 I used to be a pretty conventional person. My blue jeans were Levi's. My shorts were khaki. My hair was combed. I went to law school. I paid taxes. Zzzzzzzz ....... Over the last few years that as I have become more mentally free, more independent in my outlook and general habits, I have encountered resistance from the people in my circle. I expected some of this. In the context of politics, resistance is understandable. Politics exists to force people to do what they don't want to do. Meeting resistance is normal. If there weren't social pressures and disagreements, there'd be no politics. But in the non-political world of my daily life, the less conventional I become, the more I encounter hostility in the strangest places! Here's a list off the top of my head of some aspects of my lifestyle that cause an unexpected degree of anger among the normals in my midst. Maybe some of the free spirits of FDR can add a few of their own examples. 1. Anarchist. Self-explanatory. Causes insane rage among lefties, Progs, conservatives, and even libertarians. 2. Atheist. I expect this reaction from religious people, but the most vitriolic responses come when I say that I don't mind organized religion as much as I do that vague muddle called "spirituality." Almost everyone hates that. A lot. 3. Minimalist. People really hate it that I don't like having a lot of furniture, or carpets. Especially in my personal residence, for some reason, people seen to resent my dislike of owning much stuff. 4. Anti-television. This was a bigger deal before the Internet. When they found out I didn't have or want a TV, they'd look at me like I had 2 heads. 5. Under-Eater. This one was very surprising. Try eating a small meal when you're at a table with other guys. Maybe this is less common among women, but among men, if I don't cram my face with less than 1,000 calories in one sitting, I'm some kind of threat to world peace, apparently. 6. Anti-feminist. Most of my social and sexual views are subsumed in anarchism (i.e., I really don't give a shit who other people sleep with), but apparently believing that men and women are legally equal makes me a crazy person. 7. Stoic. I don't get upset about much. I pretty much accept reality. I work to improve it, but I don't ever feel like joining in the typical festival of hand-wringing when tragedy strikes. This makes me a monster, supposedly. 8. Fencer. Here's a weird one. Yes, it's archaic. No, I don't expect to use a sword in self-defense any time soon. I wouldn't think that my involvement in an obsolete martial art would be something others care about, but they do. 9. Anti-car. A hundred people die every day in the US in a car. I really just don't want to own one. I like them as design objects, but not as an integral part of my life. This makes me a wild-eyed lunatic. 10. Irregular work hours and no office. I practice law from my cell phone and desktop computer. This makes people furious. If I put any of the above items together -- ride my bicycle to Starbucks in the middle of a workday while carrying a bag of fencing gear -- I'm apparently a clear and present danger to civilization itself. Does anyone else encounter social disapproval in unexpected ways?
J-William Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Does anyone else encounter social disapproval in unexpected ways? I'm not sure that I've run into much that makes people surprisingly angry, but I have managed to be surprised by people's reaction to my view of sending my daughter to school, or making her do stuff she doesn't want to do... anyhow, I'm with you on fencing and cars! I've done a certain amount of sword-play in my time in theater, and I enjoyed it very much. And since I live in a city that has a public bicycle program and will soon have a subway I'm not sure I see the purpose of having a car when I can get to my destination quicker on my electric scooter. but I can't say I've seen people gett angry about that stuff.
PatrickC Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 Does anyone else encounter social disapproval in unexpected ways? Yea, I ditched a mobile phone for almost 3 years and people complained about it, (but 'safely' from afar, for me).. I now realise (for me at least) I wanted to avoid contact with that world I existed in before. This was my way of avoiding contact without confrontation, (as i imagined it). I eventually realised I was avoiding stuff, (an historical consequence of course) by hiding in a cave of my own making. No idea whether that means anything to you Magnus, but I'm throwing it out there all the same.
dsayers Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 While I wouldn't call myself anti-car, I sure wish I could manage without one. They're just so damn expensive to operate and maintain for how little driving I actually do. I love the internet, but I don't have a smartphone. The cellphone I do have is of the prepaid variety because I don't use that much either. I probably would have a smartphone if there was a way to do so and only use wifi. But all the cellphone companies require you to have an exorbitantly priced data plan whether you'll use it or not. I do have a mifi from TruConnect for use with my laptop. I almost never need it, but the prices are so low that it's worth it to me to have around just in case.
JamesP Posted May 29, 2014 Posted May 29, 2014 The car thing does vary by region. It's more acceptable to go without a car in certain cities, even in the US. In Boulder (where I currently live), there's a huge emphasis on using alternative transportation. Being a college town also contributes to this as not having a car in college is not that infrequent, either. I do own a car, though I did not for a few years after my last car. It is damned convenient but it is also not an inconsiderable expense. I would not mind going car-less again. I like having one but it wouldn't kill me.
Brentb Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I don't have text conversations. Sure, people send me an address or tell me that they'll be 5 minutes late via text, or I may do the same. However, if someone texts me "How are you doing?" or "How did it go last night?", or some other conversation starter, then I'll just call them when I get a chance. I'm just not willing to spend 2-3 hours tapping on my phone to have what would otherwise be a 20 minute phone conversation. This has actually cost me a number of superficial relationships in the past.
TheLolGuy Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I live in England where soccer (I'll call it that for the North American readers) is the national religion. I was never interested in soccer and that is more bizarre and ridiculous to people here than proclaiming atheism. In high school I was insulted and made the subject of cruel jokes because I didn't know the names of soccer players, what positions they played in, the names of all the teams and their places in the various leagues. Even as an adult now, if somebody asks me which team I support and I inform them that I don't watch soccer, there follows the dreaded awkward silence, because there is nothing else of substance on the table for discussion. What would the English do with themselves without soccer?
BlackHeron Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I still get a lot of flack from folks who feel that not watching TV is threatening to them. I'm not "fitting in" with society. I'm pretty anti car and anti roads. I do own a car though. I can't always ride my bicycle everywhere (although I try) but I need to commute between Chicago and Madison, WI once a month or so. A car is not all that expensive when you know how to work on them yourself, have the tools, and drive a mid-90's Japanese-built quality automobile that was designed and constructed to last forever when properly maintained (340,000 miles and counting) Being in my late 40's and married, and not needing full-coverage insurance keeps the costs down quite a bit too. Liability-only for my age/status/clean record is a pittance. Paying full coverage insurance on a new $30k+ car that the bank owns is very pricey, more so if you are a dangerous lead-foot with the citations to prove it.
Magenta Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I haven't seen FDR's recent video, "aggravated by awesomeness", but the title I think sums up people's reactions to you. People get aggravated by others who are outside the norm because it reminds them how boring they are. Also, they get aggravated by people who actually have reasoned values because it's like a mirror in their faces reminding them how unreasoned their values are and they don't want to be reminded ... they want to feel like Lebron James without ever learning to dribble. So long as no real basketball players are around, they're never reminded how much they can't play. Here's a semi-related humorous video about being a "basic bitch":
Magnus Posted May 30, 2014 Author Posted May 30, 2014 Who are you hanging out with?Some real tight-asses, apparently! I can definitely see the cell phone/smartphone thing being a major focus of forced conformity. And sports! I'd forgotten about that one. There's a great t-shirt that you could get from The Onion that said "The sports team from my area is better than the sports team from your area." Where I live, the obsession is with college football. A few of the items on my list come from the office where I used to work. It wasn't exactly a buttoned-down environment. But still, the pressure was intense to over-drink, over-eat, follow college ball religiously, and pursue something from a very short list of approved hobbies. The others are from my social circle here in suburbia. Cycling for exercise is deemed acceptable, which is why (I now realize) they only do so while fully decked out in astro-bright full-body Spandex as though they are, at that moment, competing in the Olympics. But cycling for transportation? Heavens forfend!! Where's your washed-and-waxed late-model SUV?? I just think it's funny how, even among a group of people who are self-professed as easy-going, laid-back, get-along and open-minded, there are these subtle but strong flash points where any aberration causes a strong negative reaction, like poking a bear with a stick.
shirgall Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 Add "Polymath" to the list. "Jack of all trades" becomes "know-it-all" in an instant.
BlackHeron Posted May 30, 2014 Posted May 30, 2014 I've found the spandex-hate to be more of the same thing we are talking about here. There is a reason why serious riders (not just racers but distance riders too) wear it. We know it looks funny to the muggles, but we don't care. It works. Riding in street clothes for any time/distance gets extremely uncomfortable rather quickly. Short rides of under 30 miles without decent gear is bearable, but once you start riding for more than an hour or two it pays to have on the spandex. But it's easy for the unwashed masses to be scared and offended by anyone who dares to dress differently in public for any reason... Cycling for exercise is deemed acceptable, which is why (I now realize) they only do so while fully decked out in astro-bright full-body Spandex as though they are, at that moment, competing in the Olympics.
Magnus Posted May 30, 2014 Author Posted May 30, 2014 I've found the spandex-hate to be more of the same thing we are talking about here. There is a reason why serious riders (not just racers but distance riders too) wear it. We know it looks funny to the muggles, but we don't care. It works. Riding in street clothes for any time/distance gets extremely uncomfortable rather quickly. Short rides of under 30 miles without decent gear is bearable, but once you start riding for more than an hour or two it pays to have on the spandex. But it's easy for the unwashed masses to be scared and offended by anyone who dares to dress differently in public for any reason...It was a joke. I have Spandex. I didn't mean to offend. But I guess I was more reacting to the fact that they're invariably wearing the gear with all the sponsorship logos, literally head to toe. And the disparity in the level of social acceptance when so equipped and riding recreationally, as opposed to riding to run an errand. My theory is that dressing like you're currently on Leg 8 of the Tour de France dispels the whiff of suspicion that your car has been repossessed.
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