David Twyman Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Hey everybody. Just had a scary, slightly hope inspiring, but mostly downright terrifying dream last night. Thought I would share, welcome to thoughts, interpretation and general comments. Worth mentioning: I had hours before this dream, watched "The Battle for Aleppo", a VICE news coverage of a middle eastern civil war. Also, in the days prior, I had had conflicts with my father, calling him out on alot of bulshit, evil and hypocrisy. The night before this dream, I was home alone for hours, in my parents house, doing self reflection work, feeling intense feelings. The dream: I am in a middle eastern hellhole. I am in a rectangular wire cage, about 6-8 meters by 2 meters. I am sitting patiently, in a defensive disguising costume. Although I cannot see my face, I am aware that my makeup resembles the 'V for Vendetta / anonymous' mask. I particularly notice the rounded eyebrows. I am about to take some form of attack, scapegoating for somebody else, taking their place. A group of armed middle eastern men run to me, I am not sure If they are friend or foe. I am not sure exactly what happens next, but I am turned the other way, ran out of the cage and to the left, unaware who is following me. I am running because to the right I quickly spot an epic monstrosity. It is a dark grey square factory of sophisticated military weaponry. it looks like a fortress. It is fixed to the ground, but it has a spherical, rotating conscious part. sort of like [holy shit moment just now] C'thun from the video game World of Warcraft, but I could not see any eye slit, just a rotating, heavily armed sphere. It starts firing machine gun slugs at a rapid rate, and I ran a short way, taking refuge in a wooden barn. It is bare, just like the desert outside. Once inside, the firing doesn't stop, and I must have been hit, but I suffered no physical injury. I can see the shells flying through the air, the size of AA batteries. I curl up in the furthest away corner, absolutely terrified. I can see the internal frames of this building, the wooden arches, similar to my own garage, but this building is square, and there is a bathroom compartment that appeared as the rebels came in through the building, not noticing me as I was curled in the corner as they walked through. they stopped to use the toilet, and must have seen me on the way out, I was in clear sight, there was nothing in this barn except those toilets which I swear appeared mid dream. I was still not sure if they were my friend or foe, paranoid, waiting for them to leave. Still cowering in a corner, I look to my left and see a murky swamp/mangrove area. there are beak shaped, orange tinged flowers atop large stems coming from the swamp. I think I see a small wooden kayak turned upside down. In the line of fire of the weapon monster, but a fair distance away, I probably wouldn't die. A chance to escape, but it is dark and foggy, and it would be a grueling trek with no certain fate. I feel like I am fucked either way. I do not try to escape. moments later, I run back through the door that I entered the barn in, in full sight of the Monster, but am not focusing on it at all, I am focused on the rebels and my father fighting. my father talks about MMA or some martial arts proficiency, but when he gets into a fight with one of these middle eastern guys, he is on the ground in seconds and his mouth covered by his oponent, his physical stress is very noticable, his vascularity increases and his face begins to turn a different colour. He is at risk of death. The fighter listens to my request to take the hand away from his mouth. Still no gunfire from the Monster. then i wake up. Analysis: I haven't thought too wholly about this, but i do have a few thoughts. the most important part of the dream to me was the orange tinged beak flowers. I am seriously considering DefOOing and I see the swamp/mangrove as a representation of the struggle that that will entail. it's terrifying to think about, it seems like suicide walking into a dark foggy swamp, but the orange beak tinged flowers to me represented hope. the color itself represents life, energy. I think the beak shape could be representitive of rebirth, a kind of subtle cue, alluding to a Phoenix. This would also make some sense as the flowers are orange and stem from a swamp which is a kind of breakdown of past life. Is this a chance at life? I can do more analysis, but I just want to give a teaser, and a teaser on the most important aspect of the dream in my opinion
Kevin Beal Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 Wow. That is an awesome dream. I think it's interesting that you related the swamp scene to your potential defoo. A swamp is a tough slog to walk through. And having your kayak flip over is to be drowning while you figure out how to get yourself right side up again, but why is it wooden? That's interesting... Also, the beak shape of the flowers suggests they aren't yet in full bloom since flowers usually flare outward to invite pollinators. A sign of something good to come? The rebels in the video are liberators. To defoo is a kind of liberation. Taking back your mind and kicking out the introjects our parents placed there to trigger self attack and unnecessary doubt. It seems apt to me that the only doubt you expressed about your dream was about the intentions of the liberators, who not only never harmed you, but did as you asked when you asked them to let your father breathe. I'm going to make a prediction based on your dream. It may be entirely false, but did it come as a surprise in the moment when you called your father on his bullshit? Maybe surprise about how much you had to say or the intensity of it? If so, that might explain the toilet scene. The toilets appear out of nowhere and relieve the liberators' of their waste. Not to mention that you are uncertain and afraid at the time. You start out in a cage and after escaping a monster end up in a position where you have some control. I have no idea about the weapon monster. It is interesting though that the part missing from him is an eye slit. Could the evil you mentioned you suffered have something to do with a blind, big, impenetrable, overwhelmingly powerful attacker? I'm sorry that you had a childhood / parents that the decision whether or not to defoo is even coming up. I hope that you are in therapy to help you through the tough time now and ahead. And if you want to, I'd be happy to talk about it with you over skype (my handle is on my profile).
David Twyman Posted June 4, 2014 Author Posted June 4, 2014 Wow, thanks for the reply Kevin. I appreciate the feedback. Yes, I'm in therapy. Once a week, and skype calling a training IFS therapist twice a week. Have you DeFOOed? If you have, I'd be ravenously eager to talk about it with you. was about to go to sleep, early start, but i'm way 2 excited, associations popping into my head, I have to put the think to ink. I found the orangeplant today in real life, looked it up and it's called 'Bird of Paradise' how about that! http://instagram.com/p/o0bZUsO1ZU/ Why is the kayak wooden? to me this could be a representation of primitive technology, something that needs to be worked on. the first thing that came to my mind was the Inuit of Greenland and their kayaks. thanks for that association of the kayak roll. I did feel like I was drowning while awake last night, and from looking back at my journals, for a long time. This is definitely all about emotions this dream. The bullets hit me, but I did not get injured, instead suffering terror and paranoia. I agree with you about the aptness of me being doubtful of the armed men's intentions. I wish that knowledge alone took one iota of that doubt away the dream is definitely about liberation, that's why I think the swamp was to the left (libertarians are called lefties) fuck... [sighing, weak feelings] when you put it like that "they not only never hurt you..." that does make the paranoia of them unjust. fuck. calling him out on his bulshit (2-6-14) was planned, but I did something different this time. I reflected back his logic, excuse or something with indifferent derision, no holding back, showing him just how ridiculous his excuse about something was. I amplified and mirrored back the excuse to him (wish i remember what it was he said), pulling faces, putting my fingers in my ears, making loud noise, blocking what he was saying and then explaining to him what i was doing. So yeah, that was funnily surprising. sorry for the abstractions, but I don't remember what ridiculous excuse he came up with that triggered my double standard hypocrisy bulshit alarm. I may have misrepresented the importance of the C'thun reference. I don't think it means anything that there was no slit in the sphere. It was only important for me in that this C'thun was the first thing that I could think of that is a big, rotating, fixed sphere that can decimate people. (i feel a bit embarrased now just looking over that last sentence and realising how many similarities there are haha!) Definitely suffered evil from a big blind, impenetrable, overwhelmingly powerful attacker. Also want to add concrete and guarded to that list. That could explain the blind conscious destructive force being part of a fortress. I still have alot more to do with this dream. To be continued.
Kevin Beal Posted June 4, 2014 Posted June 4, 2014 There's so much to the dream that it's definitely worth revisiting multiple times. Have you DeFOOed? I haven't spoken to either of my parents in 4 years, but I'm not entirely deFOOed, no. I suspect that will take a little while longer.
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