Another child abuse intervention at the mall.

[Three]

today, i wanted to share a brief child abuse intervention at the mall.

 

A child was crying heavily behind me and i heard the parent say repeatedly "stop crying"

 in a sharp aggresive tone of voice.

 
I then slowed down and let her catch up with me. With the child still crying, while she was walking next to me and i asked her gently, "is everything okay?"

 Immediately her tone changed and she said lightheartedly, "oh she's just fussin over not getting something"

 I then asked, "have you tried simply asking why she's upset?"

In response, she gave me a similar narrative except this time stuttering.  I've never had a parent not argue with me or attempt to put me in my place. So, when she seemed scared It surprised me.
 

 I then said the child although she wasn't look at me, still crying "hey it's okay to be upset"
 

Then her mom got on her level , mimicked me, and said "hey it's okay", picked her up and hugged her and then she took her to the candy shop

 

I then walked away and cried because i thought what had happened to the girl was really sad

[MysterionMuffles]

Kudos. I often forget that you need to be gentle in these instances because coming at them with aggression obviously will frustrate them more. Good stuff man. Show them empathy so they can remember what it looks like.

[june]

some people are simply unknowing. all it takes is an action like yours to inform them that is their a better way. bravo

[corpus mentium]

Thank you for intervening, Joel. I don't know about others, but I find stories of people intervening to be encouraging and motivating for someone like me who has a very hard time working up the courage to say something. How do you feel before you do it? 

With the child still crying, while she was walking next to me and i asked her gently, "is everything okay?" Immediately her tone changed and she said lightheartedly, "oh she's just fussin over not getting something"

This is something that I have noticed in other intervention stories. When someone intervenes it's as if the parents suddenly realize, "Uh oh! I know what I am doing is wrong and now someone has taken notice!" The parent has to frantically start backpedaling with their lighthearted tone to make it look like it's not a big deal. "Nothing wrong going on here. Nope. Not at all..." Somewhere inside themselves they really do know it's wrong but haven't done their responsible part of actually learning the best way to parent.

[A__]

Wow that's like a happy fairy tale.

 

I'm glad to hear about that and glad you helped make it happen!

[Pleiades]

[Yeravos]

That is really heartwarming Joel!

[michaelfcp]

For me it is really scary, to do something like that. Thank you for the inspiration!

[Three]

I really appreciate everyone's positive feedback, encouragement, and thanks. It really means a lot to me. Corpus, I usually feel fear, anxiety, frustration and quite often rage too. I often hesitate.  I have noticed that coming from a place of concern has had the most positive effects and that, while the fear has never been completely absent,  the more I do it the less scary it is. The additional resilience, self respect, and joy that I experience afterward usually leaves me thinking why did I ever hesitate?  

[fractional slacker]

Mad props and kudos. Sharing your experience is a great lesson. Thank you.