The origin of pet peeves

[tjt]

Where do you think pet peeves come from? Are they unhealthy, and if so how do we overcome them?

 

I personally think that yes, they are unhealthy because they are generally irrational. Yet when I try to analyze their origins, I struggle to understand and therefore have a difficult time overcoming them.

 

For example, I sometimes get very agitated when people smack their lips as they chew their food. I think I have somewhat of a hold on this, in that as a child my father was the loudest, fastest eater. He had horrible teeth from a lifetime of smoking. I don't know if I would have found this repulsive in and of itself, but he would constantly yell at my sister and I for our table manners -- "don't fidget at the table" "sit on your butt and keep your feet on the ground" "you're holding the knife like a retard" etc. So, could it be that I made an irrational connection that loud chewing is representative of hypocrisy? Anyways, I believe this pet peeve is bad because a special someone in my life is a passionate chewer and this is absolutely not something that should annoy me and I don't want it to.

 

I feel also that pet peeves are something that we can focus our other frustrations on, rather than dealing with the true sources of our frustrations. If that's the case, it's very unhealthy because it's basically a scape goat meant to distract us from working on ourselves. So maybe pet peeves don't have origins in our past... dunno, what do you think?

[PatrickC]

Interesting topic. Regarding your Fathers chewing, I imagine it was a rational response to his hurling orders at you and your sister about your table manners. I imagine it now just reminds you of your father and how much that type of yelling irritated you. Just a thought of course.

[kalmia]