I am so rational that I find it difficult to have a fun timei

[Kaizerdave]

I'm 19, doing a degree at university, left my first degree in Performing arts because I hated it mainly because all of the people were immature and not my type of people, so I moved onto another one in film making, I have finished my first year with a 1st. :)I have always been very rational throughout my life even when I was a religious person (ironic) I always analyse people way too much and tend to never agree with someone much of the time due to being skeptical of just about anything.As of such I feel that I don't tend to have a very fun time when I am around others.There was a time during my early days at university when I was quite a party animal, but I have looked back on this in time and found myself quite embarrassed about it, today I normally tend to stay indoors and research stuff, so basically i've turned into a nerd. I've only ever had 1 girlfriend which I wouldn't consider very enjoyable because we started too fast. I am always trying to be the nicest person I possibly can but I find that nobody ever seems to value me or want to spend much time with me.Today I went to a BBQ with my housemates and found that I barely knew anything of what to say, everyone around me was having a fantastical time and just letting their hair go and I was just very held back by everyone there.I've sunk into a bit of a downer now and I don't normally get very depressed like this, and at the same time I never enjoy chatting about emotions because I find it so cringey, so I want to figure out a way of just relaxing myself and not having to be so critical all the time, or... is it a good thing to be like this and in the future when everyone settles down I will start enjoying my way in life?

[David Twyman]

I'm 19, doing a degree at university, left my first degree in Performing arts because I hated it mainly because all of the people were immature and not my type of people, so I moved onto another one in film making, I have finished my first year with a 1st.

 

 (ironic) I always analyse people way too much and tend to never agree with someone much of the time due to being skeptical of just about anything.

As of such I feel that I don't tend to have a very fun time when I am around others.

There was a time during my early days at university when I was quite a party animal, but I have looked back on this in time and found myself quite embarrassed about it, today I normally tend to stay indoors and research stuff, so basically i've turned into a nerd. I've only ever had 1 girlfriend which I wouldn't consider very enjoyable because we started too fast. I am always trying to be the nicest person I possibly can but I find that

Today I went to a BBQ with my housemates and found that I barely knew anything of what to say,  and just letting their hair go and .

 

I've sunk into a bit of a downer now and I don't normally get very depressed like this, and at the same time I never enjoy chatting about emotions because I find it so cringey, so I want to figure out a way of just relaxing myself and not having to be so critical all the time, or... is it a good thing to be like this and in the future when everyone settles down I will start enjoying my way in life?

 

We have some elliot rodger style language here.

I have always been very rational throughout my life even when I was a religious person (paradoxical, not ironic)

nobody ever seems to value me or want to spend much time with me.

I was just very held back by everyone there

everyone around me was having a fantastical time

[Brentb]

It sounds like your inner critic is taking you over. If you haven't heard of an inner critic, it's that little voice in your head that's telling you that I'm an idiot and that this is a bunch of touchy-feely bullshit. It's quite possibly an inner parent. It makes it difficult, if not impossible to have fun.

 

There is no way to get rid of it, but you can learn to distinguish it from yourself and consequently enjoy yourself. I learned to deal with it through doing a weekend course called the Landmark Forum and also doing Improv Comedy classes. Books won't get rid of this - believe me, I tried. Practicing interactions with people is necessary.

[prolix]

Looking for evidence of this "rationalism" and not seeing it...

[Pepin]

To take a different approach, decide for yourself what you get enjoyment out of. Screw people who tell you that you need to stop thinking, that you need to go party, that you need to let your mind go. Find what you enjoy, and find people to take part in that. I really enjoy intellectual conversations, so I gravitate towards people who like discussing any kind of idea. If I go to a social gathering, I get the most of my enjoyment from analyzing body language, seeing what people think and why, and finding entertainment. I really just love thinking and figuring things out, I mean I get a lot of pleasure when I have great thoughts or learn something new.

 

To back away from the above, perhaps you are unable to enjoy yourself because you are depressed. Having been depressed for most of my life, it isn't a sadness, but rather an apathy. So much just feels pointless: all the inconsequential and predictable small talk, segmenting off this time to do something so people don't worry about you, putting up with a number of annoyances, having to react to people who won't stop talking to you until you give a reaction...

 

I might posit that you avoid discussing emotions because you are avoiding your own. Unfortunately, this results in a general repression of all emotions, positive and negative, which would explain why you enjoy little. I find it likely that since you value rationality to a high degree, you avoid emotions because you find them to be irrational.

 

To expand upon the last sentence, as a highly rational person myself, and I tend to find many of my emotions to be irrational. Having had a terrible childhood, this isn't a surprise. It seems easy for others to respond to these thoughts as if they are contingent with reality, to project childhood situations into unrelated contexts, to assign blame where it does not belong... Yet when you clearly see these thoughts as irrational and refuse to act on them, the emotional content simply is repressed.

 

When I was around the age of seven, I began to have this thought that I was special. It was as if only I could perform a task so well, that only I could figure out problems, that only I could make unique art, that only I was intelligent. This really confused me I felt compelled to accept it due to it feeling so certain, but I couldn't find any reason to believe it, and thus rejected it. This thought continued popping up for a number of years and really gave me a disdain for emotions.

 

Hopefully I am not projecting, but you may have something similar going on. Have you found your emotions to be irrational? Do you not like your emotions because of this?