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Parenting Challenges Handled Peacefully


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Wow, I really appreciate this conversation, it's so great! Although I became angry while listening to it, now I feel very optimistic. I don't have any illustrations, because for me dinner time was torturous growing up. The usual "you can't leave the table until your plate is clear," followed by spankings and punishment. I had a very sensitive and problematic digestive system growing up (probably IBS), so I preferred only certain foods, but my parents did not understand this (or chose to ignore it).

 

I remember distinctly once being given the 'choice' between finishing all of the food on my plate or finishing a glass of milk (which I absolutely hated, and it's probable that I was also mildly lactose intolerant as a child). I opted for the milk and I remember sitting for hours at the dinner table alone, staring at the glass of milk and crying my eyes out... until my dad became distracted by the t.v. and my mom finally dumped the milk and gave me something else to eat.

 

Ok, so that's why I was angry (luckily I have a healthy relationship with food today... not so much with my parents). But, now I'm feeling optimistic and am confident that I can break the cycle when I have children. These tactics are so cool! Thanks to the three who pulled this conversation together!

 

I wanted to share another tactic that I've never implemented, but sounds good in theory. Why not get the kid interested in cooking and preparing the meal with the parents? That way, they could help out a bit, learn some culinary skills and it will be a great opportunity to demonstrate the work that goes into that meal. Then you can help them to see eating the meal for what it is, which is reaping the benefit of the work put into preparing the meal.

 

I don't know if I've articulated my idea clearly, but hopefully. Back to LovePrevails original post, I'm looking forward to illustrations that people are willing to share!

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I wanted to share another tactic that I've never implemented, but sounds good in theory. Why not get the kid interested in cooking and preparing the meal with the parents? That way, they could help out a bit, learn some culinary skilss and it will be a great opportunity to demonstrate the work that goes into that meal. Then you can help them to see eating the meal for what it is, which is reaping the benefit of the work put into preparing the meal.

 

 

 

great idea tjt

 

Btw I was thinking of taking an excerpt from your video about working in that school and putitng it up on TheProgressiveParent youtube channel, would you like that?

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Btw I was thinking of taking an excerpt from your video about working in that school and putitng it up on TheProgressiveParent youtube channel, would you like that?

 

Is this question for me? I'm sorry, I don't know exactly what you mean.

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  • 4 weeks later...

Hmm I'm struggling to believe Stef on this one. He said he started this when his daughter was around 2 and a half years old, yet seems to be having completely fluent and complex language discussions about the tongue and the belly.My son is 2 and a half and either I'm missing something, but if i tried to explain to my son about sugar on the tongue and veg in the belly, he would grasp certain aspects of the conversation, but he wouldn't understand the meaning.I have a tough time believing the majority of this conversation is based around things they are doing for < 3 year olds.

 

Stef claims his daughter has never had a tantrum, again this is something i find extremely hard to believe. Children tantrum for various reasons and nearly every single child in the world tantrums.

 

Ok so stef says a tantrum happens when a child can't explain what it wants in a win win environment. Yet i've witnessed my son throw a tantrum because a puzzle piece wont fit into a puzzle when he's tired. Or when you wash his hands when they are covered in dog poo.

 

Chris Stefanick in that video says tantrums are related to what the child see's from their parents. Well I've never thrown a tantrum, Never hit, never thrown items across the room, never cried or sulked and many other things related to tantrums.

 

So i'm really struggling here.

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Hmm I'm struggling to believe Stef on this one. He said he started this when his daughter was around 2 and a half years old, yet seems to be having completely fluent and complex language discussions about the tongue and the belly.My son is 2 and a half and either I'm missing something, but if i tried to explain to my son about sugar on the tongue and veg in the belly, he would grasp certain aspects of the conversation, but he wouldn't understand the meaning.I have a tough time believing the majority of this conversation is based around things they are doing for < 3 year olds.

 

Stef claims his daughter has never had a tantrum, again this is something i find extremely hard to believe. Children tantrum for various reasons and nearly every single child in the world tantrums.

 

Ok so stef says a tantrum happens when a child can't explain what it wants in a win win environment. Yet i've witnessed my son throw a tantrum because a puzzle piece wont fit into a puzzle when he's tired. Or when you wash his hands when they are covered in dog poo.

 

Chris Stefanick in that video says tantrums are related to what the child see's from their parents. Well I've never thrown a tantrum, Never hit, never thrown items across the room, never cried or sulked and many other things related to tantrums.

 

So i'm really struggling here.

Hey Ashton. I'm with you on this one. My almost 2 year old does not have the reasoning skills, let alone the verbal skills, to understand anything other than very simple questions and statements. I get frustrated listening to Stefan talk about how his daughter never tantrums due to his parenting style, but mine throws daily mini-tantrums, mainly out of frustration, and I get upset thinking that I'm doing something wrong.

 

With all due respect, I think either Stefan might be either remembering her toddler years incorrectly, or she is just one of those rare toddlers who never had tantrums. They do exist. My niece was like that, and she had anything but stellar parents. Keep in mind that he does not specialize in child care and he has a sample size of one. There are plenty of great resources out there that help you to peacefully parent and fully expect that you will have to deal with tantrums sometimes.

 

Now, when my daughter throws a tantrum, I just try to validate her feelings and be there for her. It helps me immensely and she feeds off my calm and tends to have less tantrums that way.

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Hey Ashton. I'm with you on this one. My almost 2 year old does not have the reasoning skills, let alone the verbal skills, to understand anything other than very simple questions and statements. I get frustrated listening to Stefan talk about how his daughter never tantrums due to his parenting style, but mine throws daily mini-tantrums, mainly out of frustration, and I get upset thinking that I'm doing something wrong.

Exactly!
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My 1.5 yo son throws a tantrum when I don't let him sick his fingers in the outlet or when he can't pull the swivel chair out by himself to climb on it (dangerous). Needless to say, I'm not going to let this baby without language skills yet to kill himself learning about electricity. I usually physically block the action, say "no, dangerous!", and then distract him with a toy that plays music (bribery). He usually goes for it. If I try to wait out the tantrum or hug him it escalates.

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Great conversation, and I'm looking forward to what kind of feedback everyone gets.

 

Just wanted to loop back real quick to the idea of involving children in the cooking process. I found this real-life demonstration of how it can be done, and it is just too awesome I think! Here's the blog post I stumbled across... Really cute pics included :)

 

http://suburbanautistics.blogspot.com/2012/04/fried-zucchini.html

 

This woman also has a post about a time that they served dinner with her boy's tonka truck toys and what not. Really fun ideas.

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