alwazqestion Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Hello everyone, I'm new to the board and I could really use a dose of FDR sanity. A woman, who will be removed from my "friends" list soon, posted a "joke" about killing men. Below is an image of the "joke" and the exchange. Normally, I don't engage with this kind of shit as it rarely does anything but rile me up, but this one really got to me. It was also from someone I didn't expect. I thought she'd be receptive. I thought wrong. Another of my mistakes was engaging the trolls that jumped in. I'd love any advice on how to better pick these battles, as well as constructive criticism on the exchange and how I could improve in the future. Thanks in advance! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nickhk Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Au revior makes for a classy farewell. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cynicist Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 While reading this a particular quote of Stefan's came to mind involving pearls and swine... I'm curious what made you think she would be receptive. I mean she was the one who posted the picture to begin with. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwazqestion Posted July 2, 2014 Author Share Posted July 2, 2014 She'd always been pro any articles I'd posted about peaceful parenting/anti spanking in the past, often sharing it. Come to think of it though, she posts negative things about her ex in a light that makes him entirely to blame. Guess it's because ... because ... patriarchy? Just another woman who has taken no responsibility for her poor choices and their negative consequences. Just got this in reply from the first troll. I'm done responding to them, but figure I'd update here. It turns out I'm not entitled to my feelings: "You have the option to no longer participate in this conversation. Kate has the right to post what she wants on her wall. You do not have the right to not be offended. Read the words more closely. It says "SOME female spiders". It doesn't even give any idea of what proportion of female spiders that is, at all. This could be a tiny minority of spiders that closely matches the number of men who are fathers, brothers, male friends and SONS who deserve to die by being eaten. Think I'm reading too far into something? Maybe i'm illustrating a point." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JamesP Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 NAWALT. Of course. Let's see. How would the meme have been received if you made a joke about females being raped? There are certainly some species where the males don't exactly court the female when it comes to mating. Joke that the females were asking for it or even that they wanted it because they were dressed provocatively… And then hire a bodyguard detachment in case one of them thinks you deserve to die. For a joke. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrice Stanton Posted July 2, 2014 Share Posted July 2, 2014 Alwazquestion: I think you did fine because you said your peace (and reiterated it). If others choose not to see, so be it. It is hard to drop stuff like that though. But to let things like that slide - over and over - to leave them unchallenged is why things are the way they are. Kudos to you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alwazqestion Posted July 3, 2014 Author Share Posted July 3, 2014 JamesP, HA! How about chickens? They are rather rapey in their "courting" methods. It sucks, though that these types of counter arguments only work with someone who isn't immune to reason and evidence. Everyone else just ends up using it as further "proof" that MRM hates women.Patrice, thank you! That means a lot to hear. I try to inject a bit of reason and evidence where I feel it is needed and might be accepted, but at least 95% of the time I am still shocked by the vemon sprayed at me. I can only hope that someone with an open mind on the sidelines will read/hear it and challenge their assumptions. I always take these attacks to heart, though, and it can take days, weeks, or even months sometimes, to let go of the hatred thrown at me. My fight or flight go into overdrive, but fighting is useless, and fleeing is impossible. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J. D. Stembal Posted July 5, 2014 Share Posted July 5, 2014 This minor e-conflict could be used as an item for discussion or self-analysis, which might lead you to the conclusion that you need to extricate yourself from Facebook in short order. I fell for troll bait like this all the time, and usually felt disgusted by the end of it. I'm not saying it's the right decision for you, but think about it. You have to pick your battles, but the more you get barraged by this kind of propaganda online, the more conflicts you will have. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psychophant Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 Calling something a joke, doesn't make it funny, nor removes any related responsibility. This joke is mysandric, cuz in the opposite case there would be an outrage, given the evidences in pop culture. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thelizardking52 Posted July 27, 2014 Share Posted July 27, 2014 I think you are right to say something and if you were to engage in further discussion I really like JamesP's suggestion to make a comment on animals that rape to see how she would react to it. I'd expect a complete flip flop and irrational outrage. I'd say don't let it bother you too much though because their negative energy is unhealthy. This is her hatred being spewed and it's contagious, so be careful. Don't let them take away from your positive energy. This reminds me of a girl I know who is multiracial and felt she had a pass to make meanspirited derogatory comments on both the races she is. I pointed it out to her that I found it offensive and that even if she was both races that it didn't change my race, nor did it make her remarks sound any less offensive. I gave her an example that helped her to see it from another viewpoint. I said, "what if I contributed $ to both the republican and democrat party and when in the presence of a republican, made nasty comments about republicans, and then do the same when in company of a democrat?" I then asked her if my contributing $ to both and therefore being an interested party of both made it ok for me to blatantly insult each one. She then said it wasn't nice and so far, she hasn't spoken like that around me. We never had any problems either, I just calmly pointed out that it was still offensive regardless of what racial background she had. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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