Thank You Stefan!

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When I was young, I was spanked and put on timeout by my mother. I saw my dad sometimes because he worked so often. When I was 10 years old, I was alone in watching my mother die in the middle of the night. Through my experiences at that time, I decided that I needed to be stronger then everyone else, meaning no crying, never showing when something was wrong, and all that stuff. I also went into middle school with this want to conform to popularity, and in the process, I was the toy for all the popular bullies. My dad was a big tough ex cop who taught me to defend myself, but I only defended myself from the kids who weren't popular because, well, I wanted to be liked.

 

On my 14th birthday and my middle school graduation, my family and I moved (my dad, 2 sisters and new step mom). After moving, my uncle who hadn't drank in many years, decided to sneak off, get drunk, come back and then pick me up by my neck until I had awoken on the ground choking. He then killed himself a week later and I received the "it wasn't your fault" speech by every single person even though in my mind, everything bad that ever happens was my fault.

 

A few months later, my sister accused me of raping her, my dad started drinking a couple bottles of wine a night and beating me physically and mentally, I was locked in my room and not allowed to leave except to use the restroom, I was jumped the few times I snuck out for fresh air, I was in fights at school constantly and I had a mob outside my house every few days telling to come outside so they could kill me. I also had investigators asking me questions every few days as well. I tried calling "friends" and "family" from all over, asking for help, and the reply I got was always, you deserve everything you get you rapist. I was alone and felt the entire world hated me and I thought about killing myself all the time, but even then, I still had this sense of logic in my head that said no matter how bad things get, this isn't necessarily permanent but death is. There were other things that kept me going too, like the idea that I deserved what I was getting, the want to read the end of the One Piece manga in 20 years, and more, but the real reason I didn't was that little logical voice.

 

After about 6 months of this, I was offered a polygraph test that I took and passed. I didn't do anything wrong, but I was forced to see a psychologist every month for a year, as was my sister. I was never apologized to by anyone and I received the same punishment as her.

 

After this, I saved my dad 3 times when he attempted suicide. Life really calmed down a lot when I was about 16-17 years old though. I removed myself from highschool halfway through 10th grade and did this schooling called independent studies where I go see a teach once a week to turn in my homework and get more. I didn't have to deal with people as much anymore and I could go through school at my own pace because school has always been a joke when it came to education. I had a great 5th grade teacher that made learning so fun, but aside from that, I was always far above my class and everything seemed easy and boring, except foreign language, that was and still is impossible!

 

After all of this stuff, I still was surrounded by the same family and friends that told me I deserved everything that was happening. I catered to everyone, doing what everyone wanted because when I didn't, I was be mentally abused, sometimes physically abused, and I feared being alone.

 

However, even with all this, I always questioned everything in life and still kept some of my logic brain. Religion and government never made sense to me, but I never knew anyone that was atheist and/or anarchist, so I never could connect the dots on what I believed. I mean, when you are hearing how great God is and government protects us and all that bull on an hourly basis, thinking for yourself is one hell of a difficult task.

 

Randomly, I stumbled upon some videos of Penn Jillette, and I started to think a little bit more about everything. I began talking about my thoughts to everyone, end the abuse from those people was crazy, but it was still worth it to me at the time.

 

Then, possibly the greatest thing in my life had happened to me. I stumbled upon Stefan's youtube. Penn was great and all, but he didn't talk about topics I wanted to hear about as much as I would have liked. Stefan on the other hand had MANY amounts of videos in which I watched day in and day out. I mean, this wasn't just a curiosity anymore, this was an obsession because this was the first time ever, that I heard someone talk where it made my brain jump out of my head to shake Stefan's hand through the computer screen. I just kept watching and it was so exciting because even though I hadn't and still haven't, ever met Stefan or anyone that agrees with facts/evidence/logic, I found out that there are people out there who are like me. My smile at this time made the joker's smile look mini in comparison.

 

Since my binge, I have been a follower, or should I say, pupil and I try to talk to everyone I can about truth. I have been a much happier person, and always working to make myself even happier. I have removed so much anger and hatred by removing almost every single person from my life. I am extremely excited for my future and to someday, possibly, get married and have children of my own. But most of all, I have been and will continue to be moral in everything I do, and not the evil "morality" of society, but the morality explained in UPB.

 

So, Stefan, thank you so very much. You have done so much for me and we have never even met. I am barely 25 years old and I still get depressed that I have wasted, with the help of my surroundings of course, 25 years of life, but at the same time, I am glad that it wasn't anymore then 25 years and I can move on to a life of my choosing and experience an everyday happiness. So again, thank you Stefan!

 

-Fan boy, pupil, etc...