daycare for young children

[Jamie Howlett]

Hello, thanks for clicking my topic

 

This is my first post on freedomainradio, I'm quite excited to get involved!

 

Il cut right to the chase... I'm having a bit of an issue with daycare. My fiance works in a daycare as an early childhood educator, in one of the "best" daycares on the island. I have witnessed their methods on several occasions, and as far as daycares go, I'm quite impressed. Their work ethics revolve around free choice and involving every child. This is the daycare that our child will go to. My fiance (Who I will refer to as Ash from now) will not be allowed to be in the same group as our child, but she will be able to frequently visit and periodically interact with them on downtime.

 

So the main issue is: I still don't want to send my child to daycare, but considering all known variables, this daycare situation is much less like a typical one, Is it THAT bad? I know its a subjective question, I'm more so looking for people with experience with daycare that could shed some light

 

We have talked about one of us taking time off work, or even looking for a rotating shift. I am totally fine with not working, but Ash isn't so keen on the idea right now. She is concerned financially, even though I have assured her that we can still net profit on mandatory expenses without me working. Besides, I can do some personal work from home here and there at nap time(s). I make just above minimum wage, Ash makes about 55% more than I. That being said, if we both worked for the younger years of our childs life, we would be able to move into a house sooner; we are currently renting a moderately sized apartment.

 

So all things mentioned above, what do you guys think? 

 

P.S I'd be happy to expand on anything if there is something you feel is too vague or is confusing in any way. Thanks again

[Brentb]

Are you expecting or is this purely hypothetical?

[Jamie Howlett]

Are you expecting or is this purely hypothetical?

Expecting. In about 20 months. But it is still fluid I suppose.

 

Edit: 3 months pregnant haha daycare after maternity leave.

[tasmlab]

Pretend you are on your death bed looking back on your life.

 

Will you be like "I'm glad I spent that time when my children were young going to work and delegating their care for most of the day/week."

 

Or will you be like "I'm glad I spent my time with my child when they are growing up."

 

?

 

For us, we definitely didn't want to skip the majority of our parenting, for both OUR experiences as parents and for our kids.  We did send two of our kids to preschool for three half days a week when they were 3/4, but mostly for them to play with other kids, not because we needed the baby sitting.  I regret this to a degree.  We homeschool now and both me and my wife are home with them all day.  I make a pretty good paycheck working part time from a home office and my wife is full-time mom, so I know it doesn't work for everyone logistically.

 

And you have to think about their care not just when they are babies but all the way until they become adults. If daycare turns to preschool then school, you'll miss almost the whole thing.

Or, how about try staying home for a year and see how it goes?  

[Jamie Howlett]

Pretend you are on your death bed looking back on your life.

 

Will you be like "I'm glad I spent that time when my children were young going to work and delegating their care for most of the day/week."

 

Or will you be like "I'm glad I spent my time with my child when they are growing up."

 

?

 

For us, we definitely didn't want to skip the majority of our parenting, for both OUR experiences as parents and for our kids.  We did send two of our kids to preschool for three half days a week when they were 3/4, but mostly for them to play with other kids, not because we needed the baby sitting.  I regret this to a degree.  We homeschool now and both me and my wife are home with them all day.  I make a pretty good paycheck working part time from a home office and my wife is full-time mom, so I know it doesn't work for everyone logistically.

 

And you have to think about their care not just when they are babies but all the way until they become adults. If daycare turns to preschool then school, you'll miss almost the whole thing.

Or, how about try staying home for a year and see how it goes?  

 

An excellent point you make. I'm up for staying home, but I think Ash doubts that we could pull it off. She knows that I want to homeschool, and we have talked about it quite a lot. It's still a sensitive subject though, one which we are constantly adding new variables into the mix. I have no doubt that I would regret not spending as much time as I can with my children. There is nothing I wan't more than to give my child the best chances at life, and to be there with them, learning with them, experience the joys and hardships together, as a family.Maybe I should start seriously weighing my options for alternate income from home. I have looked briefly, but couldn't find any direct income. The only way I referred to working from home, is that I am currently developing a video game that may or may not make a single penny

 

I have made some pocket money selling paintings though, I wouldn't mind taking that up again. My biggest concern about effectively being a stay at home dad, is that Ash will be the one with separation anxiety. I won't get too specific about it, but she was brought up in a toxic environment, and generally has self-worth issues. Nothing usually too serious, but with when talking about out children, I can see it means so much to her that she is afraid of failure, afraid of repeating what she went through, scared to commit to things that are unfamiliar or considered socially abnormal.

 

It's something Ash and I will continue to discuss over the months, of course, I think I just feel like there is information from experienced people that I am missing. Like a piece of the puzzle that I didn't know was missing that once we find it she will let her guard down and we can both commit to a very serious aspect of our (as of yet) unborn child's life, not to mention our own life.

 

 

Edit: Another thing I should mention is that Ash really wants to open her own daycare service from home. But to do this, we need to have a home. Which complicates things as you know we are currently renting an apartment. We have more important things to think about now though, which is what is best for our child, and secondly what is best for us now. Career will have to go on hold if it has to. That being said, we still have 6 months before they are even born, alot can happen in that time. We may be able to scrape enough money in the meantime to put a downpayment on a home. I sure hope so that would make it a lot easier!

[tasmlab]

If you know how to program software (I presume you must if you are developing a game), you might check a crowdsource  business like TopCoder, IBM Liquid or similar.   Google "crowdsource software development".  You competitively bid to do little software dev projects out of your home.  Since the timing is flexible on them, you could probably work whilst the baby is resting or at night when your spouse is home.  Your income would be variable though, and competing for every job is emotionally taxing.

 

You could possibly look into work-at-home customer care jobs as well from the likes of Teletech, convergent, or other big call center outsourcing company.  The problem with a lot of jobs is that you can't abandon them to go heat up a bottle for the baby or the thousand other things raising an infant requires each minute of the day.

[Jamie Howlett]

If you know how to program software (I presume you must if you are developing a game), you might check a crowdsource  business like TopCoder, IBM Liquid or similar.   Google "crowdsource software development".  You competitively bid to do little software dev projects out of your home.  Since the timing is flexible on them, you could probably work whilst the baby is resting or at night when your spouse is home.  Your income would be variable though, and competing for every job is emotionally taxing.

 

You could possibly look into work-at-home customer care jobs as well from the likes of Teletech, convergent, or other big call center outsourcing company.  The problem with a lot of jobs is that you can't abandon them to go heat up a bottle for the baby or the thousand other things raising an infant requires each minute of the day.

Unfortunately, the game engine im using has its own local language that is not interpretive. I appreciate the thought though I'm leaning more towards painting on canvas' for extra income at this point. It's not super reliable though that's the thing. As for call center... I have considered that as well. I think that is one of the things I would rather sacrifice additional income that work on the phones (again). I already have enough food for thought from your earlier comments to digest a little bit tonight. I will talk with Ash and perhaps we can get some new ideas! Thank you for your input.

[Brentb]

I'd recommend getting on the call-in show. You have too much going on here for it to be adequately addressed in a forum, and you have a baby on the way so it's imperative that it gets addressed as soon as possible!

[tjt]

Hello, thanks for clicking my topic

 

This is my first post on freedomainradio, I'm quite excited to get involved!

My fiance (Who I will refer to as Ash from now) will not be allowed to be in the same group as our child, but she will be able to frequently visit and periodically interact with them on downtime.

 

 

 

I had just a thought/question to share with you. How will your child feel knowing that your fiance is spending more time with other children than with him/her... and how will your child feel actually being able to see this going on daily?

[QueechoFeecho]

Expecting in 20 months?  That confused me.  I think you mean weeks.  Or maybe you are a different species than human.