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Shame in Donating


NGardner

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I recently gave a donation while ordering the FDR books. I'm on podcast 1102 and watching youtube videos that a recent multiple times a week. My shame about not donating is stronger now than before donating. I feel I need to give so much more but I'm a student right now. This is by far the best education I have ever received and have every intention on proving it with large donations when I have the money. So why do I have the shame? 

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Stefan has said repeatedly to not donate if you don't have the money, and I'm pretty sure he doesn't want people feeling guilty about it.
Also if you are a student you probably have some time you could spend promoting the site on other websites, or something of that nature.
 
I'm sure you can do just as much good with time spent promoting FDR as you could with a small donation. So this isn't really about FDR or about donating…
 
So I will assume that you are smart enough to figure those things out. Can you tell us about your history with guilt? And maybe your history with money?
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If it makes you feel any better, Stefan doesn't want everyone to donate, in fact he has told people to stop donating to pay for therapy etc.

 

I'm personally saving every cent I make for the most part, as I am a student too. I need to be able to get my feet on the ground so I'm sure Stefan doesn't mind my, or your, waiting to donate.

 

If you're feeling shamed, you're imagining either that you really ought to donate now for some reason, or that Stefan, or someone else would think poorly of you if you don't- which is not the case- in CBT that is a cognitive distortion called "Jumping to conclusiong: mind reading"

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You could donate time rather than money. That's very much appreciated. Thankfully, I have enough spare change to throw FDR some shekels, but I wanted to donate more than money, so I donated some time developing the FDRPodcasts site with JamesP and Mikey Mike.

 

I know a great guy who finds people who are interested in movie reviews and directs them to Stef's movie reviews, or people interested in psychology / relationship topics to Stef's videos on that stuff.

 

I know another great guy who takes 2 minute segments of shows and adds funny pictures and graphics to get the attention of people who are turned off at the idea of watching a 30 minute video to get them hooked on the good stuff coming back for more.

 

You can find do a lot of things to help out that don't require you give FDR money. But also, FDR definitely needs money. "Stefan doesn't want everyone to donate" is obviously false. The show needs money to grow and get better equipment, hire more people, and reach everyone in the world. Wouldn't it be like the most awesome thing ever to see FDR become a kind of huge broadcasting force for good in the world?

 

- translators

- graphic artists

- copy editors

- web developers

- who knows what

 

Think big people! :)

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just a wild guess, maybe you feel shame because your action (donation) pales in comparison to what you claim/think/want-to-be your level of enthusiasm?you can do a lot to support the cause and the show without money -- spreading these ideas and putting them into practice in your own life are two that I aim for.

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Unfortunately I dont have a lot of time either but I do share videos and mention the show to everyone I think capable of receiving it. As for history with money I have always had issues with asking for money when I need it from my parents. I also feel weird about people buying me things, ex gf parents buying me dinner etc. 

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I listened to the show for about 6 years ( the first 3 years were on/off). It was until recently that I subscribed and bought the books as I feel the best way I can contribute at the moment is through donating. As everyone above said, there are other ways to give back. 

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