Stay in contact with first love?

[GOLDENICE]

Curious if you remain in touch with your first love. I realize the complexities involved but it's such a unique emotional experience and can by definition only happen once in a lifetime. I suppose as people grow and mature it simply becomes a distant memory no matter how vivid. I've been unsuccessful but it would be interesting to just say hello. Maybe a certain bond could still exist or would it feel more like the awkwardness of two strangers meeting for the first time. What do you think?  Thanks...

[NGardner]

Are you in a current relationship? 

[Mishelle]

Yes!  I do!  I feel lucky to still be in contact and learning from this man who once shared such a significant portion of my life--who first told me my dad is full of shit, who attempted to change his family to my great awe, who first thrilled me and was thrilled by me, it is a rare treasure.  I'm happily married as is he, he was the first to meet my new love, and it's great on the rare occasion to share our journeys and growth and to witness that through each other.  We speak once a year, sometimes less, sometimes more, and it is authentic and lovely.

[DrTruthiness]

I would say it's only really fruitful to stay in contact with your first love if it was a healthy union that was rooted in integrity.

 

Mishelle sounds like her first love was absolutely that. There doesn't appear to be any infedelity, jealousy, covetousness, or any type of ulterior motives involved. It's important to really be aware of each other's chemistry and if you just wear the facade of a platonic friendship while really working toward something more intimate.

 

My first love was a great experience, but she was mentally, emotionally, and morally very weak. To be fair, I was too at the time. But I learned a lot from her. She wanted to not be bound down in anything serious, and I found out deep down that I wanted something powerful and meaningful in my life; which I found fairly quickly after her.