Book Recommendations

[kahvi]

I have a couple of book recommendations

 

The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog by Bruce Perry

Perry is a child psychiatrist who specializes in early childhood trauma. In the book, he discusses many of his former patients who had suffered through terrible abuse and/or neglect and children, and its lasting effects. He goes into great detail about the effects of abuse on brain development. He also tells of his attempts to heal the victims.

 

I had read this book long before discovering Stefan's material, and because of it, I was already on board with everything that Stefan has to say about parenting. Perry had already convinced me that children are not resilient, like so many like to claim, and that most people's adulthood issues stem from early childhood trauma. He made me realize that parents, who seem like great parents to the outside viewer, can do irreparable harm to their children without anyone realizing it. When the child then grows up to suffer from depression, drug addiction or personality disorders, or winds up hurting other people, so many people either think it happened in a vacuum or that the parents didn't spank the child enough.

 

Nurtureshock by Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman

The authors discuss the many mistaken notions that we have about about parenting and how the science disagrees. For example, many people think it's a good thing to praise their child's intelligence in order to encourage them academically. In actuality, this tends to discourage further learning. The reason for this is that when a child is called smart, they don't want to take the risk that they will be thought of as otherwise. So they'll tend to do activities that are easier and they'll shy away from doing things that can't master immediately. Instead, the parent should praise the child's hard work, focus or concentration. The child has to learn that they can accomplish things with hard work.

 

Anyway, I thought you all might like to look into these. If any of you have read them, I'd like to hear your opinions.

[JSDev]

I just picked up nurture shock based on your recommendation. It suggested I would like another one called "How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk [Kindle Edition]" http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003V1WW2O/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=3645EL1CXIVU&coliid=I1UKT110258K57

 

For someone raised on yelling and criticism, and determined not to repeat, it's really educational.

[kahvi]

I just picked up nurture shock based on your recommendation. It suggested I would like another one called "How to Talk So Teens Will Listen and Listen So Teens Will Talk [Kindle Edition]" http://www.amazon.com/dp/B003V1WW2O/ref=wl_it_dp_o_pC_nS_ttl?_encoding=UTF8&colid=3645EL1CXIVU&coliid=I1UKT110258K57For someone raised on yelling and criticism, and determined not to repeat, it's really educational.

Excellent! I've been reading "How to Talk So Your Child will Listen and Listen so Your Child will Talk" based on someone else's recommendation. It's got great advice. My daughter is only two and can't talk much yet, but I'm getting prepared now.