Sinatra0124 Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 As a survivor of an abusive household I found the bomb in the brain series. It really is an exceptional series and should be introduced to everyone. I decided to send the link to my brother who is two years older than myself and has two children. I let a couple of weeks go by and contacted him again. his response was "I don't understand why you sent this to me, they are talking about child abuse" What I gathered from this is " I don't need to watch this I was never abused". I tried to press him more but he had to get off the phone. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him do spontaneous circus tricks. Has anyone else met with this type of resistance?
OtherOtie Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 That doesn't even sound like resistence, to be honest. The first time someone suggested to me that my childhood might be important I didn't really get it either.
jacbot Posted July 14, 2014 Posted July 14, 2014 Hi Sinatra0124,.., you have my empathy for your experience, So you recently watched the bomb in the brain series? Edit: What part gave you that aha moment?
Sinatra0124 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 Hi Jacbot, My aha moment in that series is when Stefan was going through all the effects, increased depression, more likely to be on medication, more sexual partners, higher rate of drug use, lower IQ. When I heard that part I started checking off that list. I actually think that series doesn't have enough views. I am currently working on trying to put together a pdf pamphlet with this information that members can print to get this information into pediatricians and OBGYN offices. I believe if we can stop beating the crap out of our children this world can be a better place in two generations.
nathanm Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 The definition of abuse in the mainstream is much more extreme. Spanking and yellingpsychological bullying etc. doesn't even count. Only the most monstrous abuse that makes the news is considered "child abuse". Is it possible that your brother is using this definition? What manner of abuse did you survive Sinatra0124, if you don't mind me asking?
J-William Posted July 15, 2014 Posted July 15, 2014 As a survivor of an abusive household I found the bomb in the brain series. It really is an exceptional series and should be introduced to everyone. I decided to send the link to my brother who is two years older than myself and has two children. I let a couple of weeks go by and contacted him again. his response was "I don't understand why you sent this to me, they are talking about child abuse" What I gathered from this is " I don't need to watch this I was never abused". I tried to press him more but he had to get off the phone. You can lead a horse to water but you can't make him do spontaneous circus tricks. Has anyone else met with this type of resistance? Yeah I guess you could say that. My sister has seemingly decided that she has no opinion on me not speaking with our parents. I have mentioned it a few times and she hasn't even asked a single question about my decision. She just said something like "that's too bad"and moved on. I don't even know what kind of response that is… I guess that's not a response. Needless to say our relationship has not gone anywhere lately. And that's a real pity, but like you said you can lead a horse to water… How has your brother been treating his children? That may be the more important question in this instance.
Sinatra0124 Posted July 15, 2014 Author Posted July 15, 2014 The definition of abuse in the mainstream is much more extreme. Spanking and yellingpsychological bullying etc. doesn't even count. Only the most monstrous abuse that makes the news is considered "child abuse". Is it possible that your brother is using this definition? What manner of abuse did you survive Sinatra0124, if you don't mind me asking? It is possible he is using this definition, it is also possible that he did not suffer the same type of abuse that I did. My father was a high functioning alcoholic, a narcosis with a horrible quick temper. He was verbally abusive to the entire family there was constant yelling in the house. He was mentally abusive to both me and my brother and was constantly telling me that I was both stupid and unwanted. I know that we both were spanked but I was the only one really beaten. My father would take out his frustrations on me because "my brother was too sensitive". Couple that with a mother who would throw me to the wolves "my father" anytime I made a mistake. My mother would make sure I "helped" my father when he couldn't fix something in the house and was getting ramped up. She finally left with my younger sister when my brother went away to college thus leaving me alone with my horribly abusive father when I was 17, it was a nightmare. I was kicked out of the home when the family dog made a mess on the floor and sent to live with my mother who had no room for me. I left her home after a couple of weeks. The final straw happened when I was 22, I had married "she later cheated on me" and had my first child, it was Christmas and my son was a year and a half old. When we arrived my father was sober but as the night progressed he became intoxicated. My son was in his lap and was upset because he wanted something my father got this look in his eyes and a grimace on his face and twisted my sons arm. I left shortly and decided never to speak with him again. I know my brother did not experience the same type of abuse but any abuse should not be tolerated. I went to therapy for 3 years 3 times a week which helped a ton. My brother is currently in therapy and has been for awhile over 5 years. I would have thought any therapist worth his salt would have focused on it by now, It was the biggest issue we tackled. Yeah I guess you could say that. My sister has seemingly decided that she has no opinion on me not speaking with our parents. I have mentioned it a few times and she hasn't even asked a single question about my decision. She just said something like "that's too bad" and moved on. I don't even know what kind of response that is… I guess that's not a response. Needless to say our relationship has not gone anywhere lately. And that's a real pity, but like you said you can lead a horse to water… How has your brother been treating his children? That may be the more important question in this instance. It took a ton of effort at first to break contact with my Father, I was able to build a new relationship with my mother but she is kept at an arms length. My sister and especially my brother would constantly harass me to reconnect with my father. I still refuse even though its been 18 years. Over the course of that time they both broke and reconnected with him. At first whenever I talked to my brother that subject would almost always come up. I helped him understand that this is the way I felt and no amount of words would ever change my mind. I don't think my brother has implemented any physical abuse but I think there has been some verbal abuse which I don't like at all. His wife made him go to counseling after he kept everyone in a room and not letting them leave about a year ago. I haven't heard anything negative since then. I am going to attempt getting him to watch this series again. maybe I will use the "hey I value your opinion and I want to know what you think of this" approach.
Slavik Posted July 28, 2014 Posted July 28, 2014 I found that many people when think of child abuse, think of absolute extremes. In order for some people to understand what child abuse means, it would be helpful for them to get a cleare definition first. I found ACE test to be extremely helpful to start with. http://acestudy.org/
Carl Green Posted July 28, 2014 Posted July 28, 2014 ... I am currently working on trying to put together a pdf pamphlet with this information that members can print to get this information into pediatricians and OBGYN offices. I believe if we can stop beating the crap out of our children this world can be a better place in two generations. This sounds like a great idea. I have acrobat pro, let me know if there's anything I can do to help.
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