insurr3ct1on Posted September 16, 2014 Posted September 16, 2014 #2 is entirely unconditional. I love my kids no matter what forever. Anything they do that could make me "stop loving them" is either the fault of me or the person I decided to have them with. Any time my son has ever done anything that I didn't feel was good or virtuous I've been able to track that behavior back to some mistake we've made, he is exonerated from all fault. i know this is completely off the topic, but my parents constantly say stuff about my attitude, how it needs to change, and how i never "obeyed the rules of the house." as far as ik, my father has stopped loving me. my father won't take any responsibility for the erosion of our "relationship", as if we ever really had one as far as i'm learning. he's just about disowned me; he won't talk to me, wants to leave me on the streets, and doesn't want my mom helping me at all. she does regardless, seeing as she's done everything she can up to the point of not listening to him and letting me back in the house, whether he likes it or not. we're just back to sneaking me around the house because i ran out of options as far as places to sleep/live go. ever since i became an FDR listener, i keep blaming my parents for a lot of things, but i'm not sure i'm just painting with a broad stroke.
MysterionMuffles Posted September 20, 2014 Author Posted September 20, 2014 i know this is completely off the topic, but my parents constantly say stuff about my attitude, how it needs to change, and how i never "obeyed the rules of the house." as far as ik, my father has stopped loving me. my father won't take any responsibility for the erosion of our "relationship", as if we ever really had one as far as i'm learning. he's just about disowned me; he won't talk to me, wants to leave me on the streets, and doesn't want my mom helping me at all. she does regardless, seeing as she's done everything she can up to the point of not listening to him and letting me back in the house, whether he likes it or not. we're just back to sneaking me around the house because i ran out of options as far as places to sleep/live go. ever since i became an FDR listener, i keep blaming my parents for a lot of things, but i'm not sure i'm just painting with a broad stroke. I don't know what to say other than I'm sorry that your dad has no interest in bonding with you the thing about blame...it may be detremental. YES hold them accountable for the mistakes they've made, but do not put all the responsibility on them for whatever choices you've made and action's you've taken that you can easily blame on them. I'm not saying that whatever sorrow you feel is wrong, but there are also 6 billion other people out there who you can find the kind of connection you desire that your parents may never give you. Many of which reside here in this community, while some may also exist elsewhere in your vicinity. Try to find them!
grahamchilds Posted September 23, 2014 Posted September 23, 2014 I saw this in the "love shack" in one of the gardens at Findhorn, Scotland; in case it's too small to see, it says, "love is not a feeling, love is what makes us feel" - I like it
MysterionMuffles Posted September 23, 2014 Author Posted September 23, 2014 just clicked it and read it
NigelW Posted September 26, 2014 Posted September 26, 2014 Conditional as in "if A, then B"? If it wasn't then you could get away with murder and claim love because there is no link between B and A. "If you love me, then you wouldn't murder me." But I don't know if people would murder each other without conditional statements or theories.
MysterionMuffles Posted September 29, 2014 Author Posted September 29, 2014 I don't know if I've mentioned this already, but love also means I prefer you over others. If you love everybody, then you love nobody, just like how if we're all special, then none of us are special. Love has to be conditional, otherwise you have no standards for virtue or treatment and will tolerate just about any bullshit maltreatment from others. This person yells at me, belittles my character, and overall doesn't help invoke positive feelings in me when I'm around them--but I love them because I have to. I've had two friends say that if love is conditional, then it isn't real love. Anybody got arguments against how unconditional love is the unreal kind? Well other than what I've already said just now? lol
luxfelix Posted September 29, 2014 Posted September 29, 2014 How about this: Provided "love" and "intimacy" are interchangeable, "intimacy" can be converted to "in-to-me-see", suggesting that one needs to get to know an individual's heart (a condition), and resonate with the virtues/values found therein (another condition). Perhaps there's a misunderstanding between "empathy" and "love" (traditionally called "love" and "true love")? In this way, empathy does not have the conditions of love (with intimacy). and so could be what people are actually talking about when they refer to "unconditional love" (another form of connection)?
yagami Posted October 3, 2014 Posted October 3, 2014 Love is completely conditional. All you have to do is think of would your feeling change if the other person suddenly change to be a completely different axe murdering psycho path. That obviously is an extreme example but anywhere along that continuum you can easily fall out of love. You can really love a person but every person is an amalgamation of certain characteristics. The characteristics that makes one fall in love are the characteristics that are most able to change. 1
MysterionMuffles Posted October 24, 2014 Author Posted October 24, 2014 yeah I can see that too. People who are open to change since life and times change constantly, adaptability is a good trait.
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