Zurtweiter Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Hey guys, i made an appointment for seeing a therapist because i have much childhood trauma to overcome but i can't even talk to random people about trivial things because i have social anxiety. Can any of you guys relate to me? If so, how were you able to express such important experiences and emotions to a complete stranger? Any help would be appreciated, i'm literally shaking just by thinking about it... 1
J-William Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 I absolutely relate! I first dealt with a therapist at university I went to learn about the counseling they offered. I was terrified just walking in there and asking questions. I thought they'd think I was a fraud and tell me I wasn't really depressed or anxious, or that I was over-reacting... It was seriously tough, but I was just tired of being so anxious and being shit on by so many people. I went through with it because I didn't really have any other choice. What do you imagine will happen when you see the therapist? Why haven't you talked to this therapist to get a sense about him and to figure out whether he's competent and qualified to deal with your trauma? I think if you did that you'd feel a lot less anxious. and if you've done that and you still feel this way... maybe you should make an appointment with someone else! Try giving Stef a call, if he's got time available before your appointment I'm sure he could help.
KelbyLion Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Hello zurtweiter. It's fantastic that you have already made an appointment, for me that was the hardest part. In my experience I was terrified the first time as well. I remember feeling embarrassed and scared to share my thoughts. I had no idea what to expect or what it would be like. It seems to me now that I look back that I was filling in all of the unknowns with my imagination. Therapy for me, was nothing like I had expected. I can remember nervous shaking and having a trembling voice when I arrived for my first session. I had pictured it being very awkward talking to this new mysterious person. When I got to the office I was greeted by the therapist with a warm and genuine smile. I was asked if I would like some water or tea, and told I could take a seat where ever I like. There are a few things they might need to mention about privacy and liabilities before you start. After all that my therapist started by exploring my reasons for coming in. Which I replied something along the lines of " where do you want me to start". And then the conversation built from there. I always felt safe, I felt like I was being listened to, and as time went on everything became more comfortable. The therapist was not like any person I had ever met. Hopefully you can form a good bond with your therapist. When you are surrounded by coercive, toxic people the idea of opening up is daunting. However I feel like once you meet a good therapist opening up will feel uplifting and empowering. If I can elaborate on anything or if you have any questions I'm happy to share. I have been going for the last ten years for depression and anxiety. I'm certainly feeling much better today and still finding ways to grow. I respect you for seeking therapy, it takes a lot of courage to overcome anxiety and childhood trauma. Perhaps you can update with how your first session goes? Cheers 1
Slavik Posted July 23, 2014 Posted July 23, 2014 Hey guys, i made an appointment for seeing a therapist because i have much childhood trauma to overcome but i can't even talk to random people about trivial things because i have social anxiety. Can any of you guys relate to me? If so, how were you able to express such important experiences and emotions to a complete stranger? Any help would be appreciated, i'm literally shaking just by thinking about it... Hi Zurt, sorry to hear about your childhood and the challenges you are not faced with. You mentioned that you have social anxiety, perhaps this would be something you can mention to the therapist on the first visit, so that he/she will help you with that. I know this is difficult, and it takes courage to do what you are going to do (going to therapy), In my opinion its a sign of a strong character. I wish you the best.
cynicist Posted July 24, 2014 Posted July 24, 2014 Hey guys, i made an appointment for seeing a therapist because i have much childhood trauma to overcome but i can't even talk to random people about trivial things because i have social anxiety. Can any of you guys relate to me? If so, how were you able to express such important experiences and emotions to a complete stranger? Any help would be appreciated, i'm literally shaking just by thinking about it... Trust your anxiety, it's not random. You have very good reasons for feeling that way about opening up to people due to past abuse, and even though a therapist's job is to listen and be empathetic they are still human and fallible. For my first experience with therapy I specifically looked up the most credentialed and knowledgeable person I could find in my area, with a PhD and decades of practice in the field. I broke down in front of her and the resulting experience was so horrible that I'm now even more reluctant to open up that way to a 'professional'. My advice is trust yourself and pay attention to how you feel. Don't tell the therapist anything just because they ask or you think it would be helpful. This isn't like going to a doctor at the hospital where you want to give them all the information you can to get the best treatment. These are your emotions, and in this area vulnerability can be dangerous if you are talking to the wrong person. You will naturally feel nervous at the beginning, it is after all a foreign experience for you. If you don't become more comfortable speaking to this person after the first session then I'd recommend finding a new person. If talking to them doesn't feel different or new compared to talking to the average person, find a new person. (you're looking for curiosity and empathy here so it should feel different from what you've had before) If you don't want to talk about yourself at first, then don't! One alternative is to ask the therapist about their thoughts on therapy or ideas on social anxiety. If you don't like their answers, run. If what they say makes sense and is reassuring to you then you will naturally be more open to revealing more intimate details.
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