"Coming out" as an atheist. //* Personal Rant *//

[Kason]

Hello everyone. This is mostly just a rant on my experience involving acting on the logic of UPB. It's not really a question or even have any direction. I just haven't really shared myself on the forum and spend lots of time creeping on others and would like to just post a bit about myself out there.

 

 

 

I was challenged by Stef's audiobook "Against The Gods" and "UPB: A rational proof of secular ethics" to the point of realizing that my belief in Christianity was mislead at best, and downright abusive and manipulated via others at worst.

 

I had been investigating the logical evidences of God's existence for the past 6 months. (The case for christ, creator, mere Christianity, etc.) and my Fiance (We dated for 5 years and I finally felt financially and spiritually ready to marry her..) was aware of my investigation.

 

Throughout the engagement. I was chastised for "Not believing in truth, love, and morality" and having a hard heart. Another phrase used was "Refusing to see the truth"

 

After hearing Stefan's call with a young man from Germany in "Lizard Brain with Post-Monkey Beta Expansion Pack" (I think that was the show title) -- I find it very disheartening that the "openness" that I was not "feeling" towards God was not granted to my evidences towards a rational and objective universe.

 

We ended the engagement and haven't spoken much. My social network has quickly shrunk from 700+ to about 4 people that I could call up if I really needed something. I was mostly friends with those from my church. (Southerners are a pretty religious bunch)

 

And so now. I'm wondering -- where do people make friends and meet new people?

 

-School is not an option - I opted to go straight to the work force.

 

-The workplace that I work at has people that are on average 15+ years older than me. (I'm the youngest crew member working in TV in the area that I know of)

 

-Bars and Clubs (when I come of age to not get shot or caged for trying) seem to be an illogical place to meet people that subscribe to the NAP or are really interested in anything more than the hedonism of the moment. (not my gig)

 

I think the only place in the universe left to discover rational and objective human beings is the FDR Forums. So... Hello everyone! I hope I can be accepted into your community!

 

I'm happy to chat about religion -- philosophy -- or about how to shoot and edit videos or create music!All the best,Kason

 

 

 

 

 

[kahvi]

Hi Kason,

 

I'm sorry to hear about the loss of your fiance and friends. I'm from a big city and wasn't super involved in any church, so when I became an atheist nearly 13 years ago, it didn't change much about my life. It must be very upsetting to lose your community. I think you're very brave for following the evidence where it leads you.

 

Have you heard of "meetup.com"? It's a website that helps you to find people with similar interests in your area. Groups typically schedule times and places to meet over their shared interests. Just go on and join (it's free to join), look up atheist/secular/free-thinker groups and if there's one in your area, you can join . If there isn't already one, you can create a group (It costs around $70 to create one) and other people can join it. It's a great tool because in public most atheists don't wear their non-beliefs on their sleeves, so it's hard to find them in the real world. I think you'd be surprised how many people you know who are secretly atheists. Online, they come out of the woodwork! Good luck to you!

[Dragonwriter]

As a christian, I'm truly sorry to hear about you being treated that way - I believe that it is not a very Christ-like quality to disconnect from or otherwise descriminate against someone because of their personal beliefs (or lack thereof). I hang out about the Dallas area, if that fits your particular flavor of "southern."

[J. D. Stembal]

As a christian, I'm truly sorry to hear about you being treated that way - I believe that it is not a very Christ-like quality to disconnect from or otherwise descriminate against someone because of their personal beliefs (or lack thereof). I hang out about the Dallas area, if that fits your particular flavor of "southern."

 

"Not All Christians Are Like That"

 

Really?

 

Throughout the engagement. I was chastised for "Not believing in truth, love, and morality" and having a hard heart. Another phrase used was "Refusing to see the truth"

 

I will be the first to congratulate you for calling off the engagement. You clearly are not afraid to challenge the twisted morality of conformity. This is a big step forward, to be sure. I don't need to tell you this, but for the benefit of others reading the thread, the above statements are what is known as projection. The accuser describes himself when attacking you.

 

You've got some solid brass balls. Don't go to places just to meet people, but meet people when you go places. The sooner you live your new values out loud, the sooner the other brave people around you will recognize you and want to join in.

 

I don't go to bars, and I don't drink since I openly acknowledged my alcoholism to everyone.

 

I don't see why you can't go to schools to make connections. Don't they run career workshops? I would go to one and convince some kids to drop out of school. Honestly, if you feel you can be successful in your field without a degree, and the corresponding student loans, maybe you can save some of your peers from making a big financial mistake. If you can't get an invite to a workshop, just go to the local university campus and record video asking students about future career prospects when they graduate, and how much debt they have incurred. Now, you have the makings of a independent documentary.

[Hannibal]

 

-Bars and Clubs (when I come of age to not get shot or caged for trying) seem to be an illogical place to meet people that subscribe to the NAP or are really interested in anything more than the hedonism of the moment. (not my gig)

 

 

I don't know about the south in the US, but here in the UK bars & clubs are where people go to socialise and relax after a weeks work. There is *some* hedonism of the moment, but the pub is also where people tend to have the deep philosophical chats. Kids here are typically out in pubs starting at around 16 years old though. I don't know if that helps to change the culture of it too.

 

You could always check it out (unless you already know for sure).

[CallMeViolet]

Seriously yes be proud of yourself! The truth is terrifying when you feel you're the only one who knows it... I completely cut my family out because they're bad manipulative people. If you're not comfortable and happy in the relationships you have then what's the point in having them?

This site is great for pick me ups... I get really down about a lot of people I know being cowardly / statist/ aggressive. We feel alone sometimes but really we are just few and far apart rn. GROWING STRONG AND STEADY!

[mikl]

I have the greatest sympathy for your situation. Until april last year, I was a member of one of those fundamentalist christian cults, where ex-members are shunned. All my “friends” and my wife of two years turned their backs on me, when I decided to leave.

 

Throughout my stay there, I was also criticized heavily for my mindset, which was too rational for their tastes.

 

I can't say I've had much luck in making friends since then. I have nice and friendly colleagues and a decent social network, but if I tell people about my past or start talking about philosophy, most people seem to recoil in horror.

 

If you'd like to talk, and/or share experiences privately, feel free to message me

[Kason]

Thank you all for the feedback. I really appreciate the empathy and feel that I'm not as alone. Or perhaps less alone than ever. since I'm not being pinned down via group think; instead, able to express my thoughts and receive rational criticisms.

 

I love the quote "Meet people where you go" and I took that to heart. I was recently on several different film sets shooting some interviews and made a new friend there, just from a chat between takes!

 

I've been making progress in my career to move elsewhere, with a more predictable schedule, so I can aid in the cause of freedom.

 

(I'd like to conduct the milgram experiment and throw in some voluntary principles about education at the end based on the results.  ) 

All the best to all of you,Kason

[Dragonwriter]

"Not All Christians Are Like That"Really?

'It was just a statement of sympathy, I wasn't trying to make any particular argument.-----I'm glad things are looking better for you, Kason. Good luck.

[MRW]

Welcome to the boards, Kason. One option that you have is to find a meetup group in your area.

 

http://www.meetup.com/Freedomain-Radio/

 

If you find that the meetup groups in your area are somewhat innactive but still want to plan one, you can checkout this thread.

 

https://board.freedomainradio.com/topic/40937-tips-for-starting-organizing-fdr-meetups/

 

I'm in a facebook group that holds weekly video conferences on planning meetups and if you're interested in that you can contact us there as well.

 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/FDRMeetupOrganizers/

[regevdl]

I am so sorry for your experience but in a way excited for you when I read that your 'friend base' went from 700 down to 4.... quality over quantity, my friend!  

 

You will adjust to the knew you as far as attracting the RIGHT people who are honest, like minded and non judgmental and everyone else will quickly fall by the way side and it really saves a lot of headaches in the long run and pain and agony from being afraid to expand awareness for the 'comfort' of others.  We should be encouraged to learn truth in a constructive way so anyone not on board with that wouldn't produce any positivity anyway.  

 

Truth, reason and logic can be a lonely path but you are not alone.    

[tasmlab]

Having four people you can call up sounds like plenty to me to get started.