Contempt for my awesome job

[August]

Hello,

 

I've had this account for a while now, but I have yet to post anything. I would like to see if anyone has any insight or experience regarding my current situation. I hope this is the right sub-forum.

 

I work for a large company with about 8,000 employees worldwide as a Software Engineer. I've been here for over six years now. I have amazing benefits, a six figure salary, and a respectful position and title. I love and work only a few miles apart.  When I first got this job, right out of college, I was completely ecstatic. I couldn't even imagine being where I am now. I get to use my skills and work on interesting projects for a company with a recognizable name. But, all I think about is how badly I want to leave. And this feeling grows more and more, every day. I don't want to do this anymore. The work is not really all that hard and it's difficult to figure out what my problem is. I find that I become the most frustrated when I notice that I work with a lot of people who seem to be very skilled at coming up with work for me, but not really producing much themselves. It seems that one can get rewarded by simply "driving" a project. However, if I attempt to drive a project, I will also have to design and develop all the parts while others only need to come up with ideas and ask pertinent and obvious questions in meetings.

 

I did quite well here for a while. I got outstanding reviews and numerous raises and praise, but my lack of enthusiasm and constantly growing desire to quit has recently lead to me being passed up for a promotion. I think the truth is, my growing lack of enthusiasm isn't really that. It's more of me become more jaded and unwilling to appear enthusiastic.

 

I'm 31 now, but ever since I was 11, what I really wanted to do was to run my own company. I think this probably has a lot to do with how I feel about my current job. I wanted to build and run something amazing. But, I don't take the necessary steps. There are many fears I need to overcome. I'm really not too concerned about the skills required, because I believe I either already posses them or I'm confident in my ability to quickly learn or adapt.  Working in technology entails an inherent constant process of learning. What I do fear are things like:

• Is giving up the cushy position I have now a bad idea?
• I've been single for quite some time and would really like to meet someone. Would I be sabotaging myself with the amount of work required to start a business?
• What if I fail?  
• I may have the technical, leadership, etc. skills, but what if that's not enough?
• Will I be setting myself back in life?
• Will an attractive women love me if I lose too much in a pursuit for my dream?

Thank you for reading all of this. Let me know if something is not clear.

[jacbot]

The job doesnt sound so awesome to you.., the way you talk about it...,

 

You should take your salary as a given, companies normally are not in the habit of overpaying.

 

I am not really sure what the problem is here,..., ok..., it seems there is some reward for playing silly office games in your company,..., but you are also doing very good for yourself (getting "outstanding" reviews etc).

You might talk to your manager and discuss your need to grow in a more senior role and why you are not being promoted. Having managing experience is always a good thing.

 

Are people bullying you at work? is anyone acting in an otherwise negative fashion towards you?

 

For starting a business, this is not for everyone..., failure is the most likely outcome (especially if it is your first company)...., you should emotionally accept this.

[Wuzzums]

Why not work on building your company (or whatever else you want to do) while slowly letting the job you have now die out. Spend more time on your own projects and less time at your job (let them demote you, cut your salary and so on, point is you'll still have a paycheck rather than quitting upfront). If you decide you're not cut out to make your own company then you can always pick up the slack and get where you left off on your current job.

[Tyler Durden]

You're in the very best position imaginable to start your own company.

 

You're 31 and you've invested your time well up to this point, you have an extensive skillset, you have experience, and you seem like a guy who also has some money saved. You're not in a relationship and you don't have children so there's nobody holding you back.

 

You have a good reputation and resume. So if you quit your job in order to start your own company, and after 3 years you realize that it's not working out you will only be 34, you will still have a good resume and you will have a perfectly understandable story for any possible future employer. Someone will hire you again and you will get a new cushy position, don't worry about that.

 

The questions about women even each other out. If you start your own company you will have less time to meet women, especially in the beginning, but you'll be much more attractive to the women you do meet because you're a man who takes control of his life and follows his passion.

 

You would not be setting yourself back in life because you would be choosing the path that leads to the most personal growth. If you keep that in mind you'll see that failure is literally not an option, because the tougher your experience the more you will grow.

 

I know it's scary, but you should do it anyway. You've wanted this for 20 years and you will never be in a better position than now.

[August]

Thank you for the great responses. I think you guys are right. I think I sometimes I just talk myself into a corner and I just need to step back and take a breath or two before I make my next move. What you guys wrote was very validating and I appreciate your time.

[Brentb]

I agree with the other posters that your reasons against starting your own company don't appear valid.

 

However, I don't see a valid reason yet for starting your own company. Being dissatisfied isn't enough. There has to be some value or values that your company can bring which other companies are not bringing forth. In other words: where is the client dissatisfaction, and why would that be resolved better in a separate company than the one you're working for?

[Existing Alternatives]

You already have very good advice above. But I wanted to add something from the perspective of someone who was in the situation like yours and did nothing about it…

 

 You can’t underestimate the value of enthusiasm in a workplace. The moment it starts slipping, it will reflect everywhere and eventually be your undoing. If you feel that you should be doing something bigger and better (like your own business), you will never be as enthusiastic about your job as you should be. If you do not take the plunge and continue your “unenthusiastic” course, you will be out of the job very soon.

 

Worse, if you wait longer, you may be getting involved in a relationship and have kids. At that point, starting a business will be a lot harder, given the amount of financial, time and mental sacrifice it will require.

 

If you do take the plunge, and (likely) fail, three years later you will walk right back into your old job, and maybe on a higher level, given your newly acquired experience.

 

Good luck!

[Psychophant]

The job doesnt sound so awesome to you.., the way you talk about it...,

 

You should take your salary as a given, companies normally are not in the habit of overpaying.

 

 

Companies pay you less than the value you create, otherwise they wouldn't hire you. Overpaying would mean that they would pay you more than the value you create, which was kinda silly from a company's standpoint.

 

I am greatfull for everyone who uses the prussian method of getting a job, cuz that means less competition in the hidden job market and a better position in negotiation for those who use it. That's kind of you people.

[tasmlab]

You're in the very best position imaginable to start your own company.

 

You're 31 and you've invested your time well up to this point, you have an extensive skillset, you have experience, and you seem like a guy who also has some money saved. You're not in a relationship and you don't have children so there's nobody holding you back.

 

You have a good reputation and resume. So if you quit your job in order to start your own company, and after 3 years you realize that it's not working out you will only be 34, you will still have a good resume and you will have a perfectly understandable story for any possible future employer. Someone will hire you again and you will get a new cushy position, don't worry about that.

 

The questions about women even each other out. If you start your own company you will have less time to meet women, especially in the beginning, but you'll be much more attractive to the women you do meet because you're a man who takes control of his life and follows his passion.

 

You would not be setting yourself back in life because you would be choosing the path that leads to the most personal growth. If you keep that in mind you'll see that failure is literally not an option, because the tougher your experience the more you will grow.

 

I know it's scary, but you should do it anyway. You've wanted this for 20 years and you will never be in a better position than now.

 

Everything Tyler wrote is spot on.  You could not possibly be in a better position.  The only thing that would really cinch it was if you had 6-12 months of savings to lean on to hedge your risk.

 

Personal anecdote:  I was in the exact place at 32, except married and planning on having children.  I would sit and mull all of the risks and everything with going out on my own.  I had a six figure salary and a stellar reputation at the time.  

 

One thought that finally got me to 'jump' was this: If I didn't make a move, I was guaranteed that my own business would never happen.  If my criteria for success was having my own business, than not taking a shot was guaranteed FAILURE.  Only by taking the leap did I have a CHANCE at being successful.

 

I focused on getting a first customer before quitting the salaried job.  I did as little as I could at the salaried job at this time, just enough to not get fired.  If you are working UP the corporate ladder, you can't do this since you have to put your best effort in, but once you check out mentally, it becomes easy.

 

That was almost 10 years ago.  I now earn more than twice I did then and only work 20 hours a week, so it worked out. We're still small, only four employees total, but everybody's pretty happy.  I've since launched five other businesses though, all of which failed.  Fortunately my main one has always been good.