AlesD Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 This article mentions some interesting research done by the OKCupid site. It confirms the theory that if you look good you are automaticaly also percieved to have a better personality and that what you write only accounts for 10% about the impression of a person. So it looks like just the pictures are important to most people. http://www.theregister.co.uk/2014/07/28/facebook_messes_with_your_moods_but_we_do_it_to_your_relationships_says_ok_cupid/ 2
LovePrevails Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 I suggested my girlfriend change the picture on her old profile to something that was more flattering, and with long hair, as a social experiment right enough she started getting a huge volume of messages the shallowness of men I want to try a parallel experiment where I change my profile to something stereotypically alpha in the about me section "cool cat, looking for a kitty" and just a bunch of glib bullshit to see how many messages I get compared to when I said a lot about myself which so apparently offputting because women can't project all they want onto your blank canvas
Frosty Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Speaks to the general irrationality of a large portion of the population, which is worrying and kinda sad. As someone who has recently changed his priorities towards finding someone virtuous above all else this makes the prospects of online dating almost a waste of time, in fact dating of any kind. Interestingly if you search free sites like OKCupid and POF for terms like libertarian, libertarianism you literally will not find any women (even if I set distance to 5000+ miles), hits for searches on skeptic, atheist net a few more hits but not many, philosophy almost none. Switch that search to men and you'll find loads...it literally would be easier to be gay, not kidding. 1
Magnus Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 Speaks to the general irrationality of a large portion of the population, which is worrying and kinda sad. As someone who has recently changed his priorities towards finding someone virtuous above all else this makes the prospects of online dating almost a waste of time, in fact dating of any kind. Interestingly if you search free sites like OKCupid and POF for terms like libertarian, libertarianism you literally will not find any women (even if I set distance to 5000+ miles), hits for searches on skeptic, atheist net a few more hits but not many, philosophy almost none. Switch that search to men and you'll find loads...it literally would be easier to be gay, not kidding. A search for "market anarchist" comes up with a few interesting hits. Mostly dudes, though. If I were single, I'd be giving "funnelcakes" a call. But seriously -- almost no one has any principles at all. Going to a dating site looking for depth and philosophical virtue is like going to a honky-tonk looking for a math tutor. Maybe it will happen, but that's not where such people often hang out. The act of going onto OK Cupid and creating a profile is itself a form of social communication. Just being there is a way of advertising what they are looking for.
Frosty Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 It is disturbing that when you start to look for other people with really good values, people who have derived them from first principles and not just been indoctrinated some how, that's pretty rare in my experience. I'm now 30 and it's taken me a long time to gather enough knowledge about the world to really start building a solid world view that I feel is accurate and coherent, and I'm very inquisitive and like to learn a lot, so maybe it's unreasonable to expect a lot of people to have done the same? i don't think it's a problem unique to dating sites that's for sure, I mean if we had a much more enlightened population then we'd probably not have the state we have today, so that's a big hint! It does make more sense to seek virtue in places like the FDR forums, philosophy forums, atheist and skeptic conferences and hangouts, etc...but it's undoubtedly male orientated that's for sure...it is starting to feel like a 1 in a million shot that I'll find someone like minded. I'm not so quick to judge people with dating profiles, I have them myself, the way I see it is that it's a long shot either way...hopefully one day a woman with her head screwed on will search for libertarian in the interests section and find me - Yeah, dream on!
Eternal Growth Posted July 30, 2014 Posted July 30, 2014 As an individualist, I say: let those who wish to engage in an animal-level form of existence do so. The only real problem is statism, where these people control the guns pointing in the faces of those with depth and a capacity for intimacy and connection.
CallMeViolet Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Interestingly if you search free sites like OKCupid and POF for terms like libertarian, libertarianism you literally will not find any women (even if I set distance to 5000+ miles), hits for searches on skeptic, atheist net a few more hits but not many, philosophy almost none. Switch that search to men and you'll find loads...it literally would be easier to be gay, not kidding. Bleh hope I didn't screw your quote up... Sir I'm an anarcho capitalist, atheist, growing philosopher myself AND I actually have an ok cupid account! Lol But yes I've been told by the guys on there that I'm like one of few... It effin sucks for me a bit though because I'm not attracted to most the d-bags on there... A lot of them seem to completely ignore the fact I am completely against their lifestyles and immediately think I'm supposed to be dedicated to screwing them or some shit... Dating is incredibly hard... I met a guy who seemed amazing but yeah sophistry can be really misleading... *sigh*...
Pepin Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 To be honest, this was difficult for me to get past in term of real life interactions. It was like if there was enough cleavage showing, what they were saying didn't matter. It isn't like I was a ladies man or anything, though people tell me that with my looks I could be, but rather that my brain would shut off in the presence of attractive females. After recognizing that this wouldn't end up well, I did a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that intelligence is what I am really attracted to, and soon after those who didn't display it would quickly loose my interest. Looking through profiles on okCupid caused me so much disappointment. I did have chats with a number of girls, though they tended not to go very well. I am not the greatest at texting, as I tend to write a little too much to avoid mis-communications... Though I stressed in my profile that I would far prefer a quick face to face interaction as opposed to a slow back and forth over the course of a month, everybody wanted to go the slow route. Really not sure about the quality of my profile, but I did get a large number of high ratings, but maybe that has little to do with my profile. I know that this is huge issue with attractive females, who are often flooded with messages.
CallMeViolet Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 I just looked it over. There's nothing wrong with it. I prefer to be detailed as a means to attempt to weed out as many people as possible.. I'm not into wasting time anymore you know? So if someone has an issue with my profile whatever you wouldn't like me anyways! XD
cobra2411 Posted August 2, 2014 Posted August 2, 2014 I suggested my girlfriend change the picture on her old profile to something that was more flattering, and with long hair, as a social experiment right enough she started getting a huge volume of messages the shallowness of men I want to try a parallel experiment where I change my profile to something stereotypically alpha in the about me section "cool cat, looking for a kitty" and just a bunch of glib bullshit to see how many messages I get compared to when I said a lot about myself which so apparently offputting because women can't project all they want onto your blank canvas A picture is worth a thousand words... How are you dressed, what's the environment you're in, how is your hair / complexion / eyes / teeth, etc. Do you look rested, do you look like you're having fun, what are you doing, who's around you, etc. We can pick up subconsciously on so many more things that a good picture can make or break a profile. What would be interesting is to find out what type of pictures are more likely to get you the match you want. For example, being an introvert, I find I'm turned off when every picture is in a group of people.
DaVinci Posted August 4, 2014 Posted August 4, 2014 I remember years ago when my hair was long (as seen in my pic, lol) I would comb (no pun intended) through profiles on this one dating site and see a ton of women who would list under the 'turn-offs' category "No long hair". I was always upset by this as most of those same women said they wanted a man who was 'kind', 'understanding', 'smart', and 'funny' and I didn't understand how they were going to find those things in someone who was too busy being a big steroid meat head to be anything close to smart or kind or funny.
Mr. Wrong Posted August 6, 2014 Posted August 6, 2014 So here's a theory! It could just be me and my own experience, but when I read into someone's words I find their flaws much faster than through a picture though admittedly it's mostly conjecture. I think rating a personality higher based on a picture alone makes some sense due to this. Actually, I imagine people start with the photograph first and the profile, more often than not, detracts from their rating rather than adding to it. So for example, if your picture has you looking like an 8/10 in personality, your profile can only bring you down from there. Perhaps it's not shallowness that rates personality higher just based on looks. Perhaps it's a general cynicism that rates personality lower based on the profile. I mean, you've seen how most people react to opinions (subjective conclusions) and that's all a profile is. Devoid of any explanation of your rationale I can see why most people would be turned off by a profile. Makes sense to me.
CallMeViolet Posted August 27, 2014 Posted August 27, 2014 I met my current boyfriend on ok cupid strangely enough. lol My ancap atheist guitarist! Had to come back and mention it.
Bortasz Posted August 28, 2014 Posted August 28, 2014 Speaks to the general irrationality of a large portion of the population, which is worrying and kinda sad. As someone who has recently changed his priorities towards finding someone virtuous above all else this makes the prospects of online dating almost a waste of time, in fact dating of any kind. Interestingly if you search free sites like OKCupid and POF for terms like libertarian, libertarianism you literally will not find any women (even if I set distance to 5000+ miles), hits for searches on skeptic, atheist net a few more hits but not many, philosophy almost none. Switch that search to men and you'll find loads...it literally would be easier to be gay, not kidding. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sQW7-Hyhbk You remind me of this.
Frosty Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 Bleh hope I didn't screw your quote up... Sir I'm an anarcho capitalist, atheist, growing philosopher myself AND I actually have an ok cupid account! LolBut yes I've been told by the guys on there that I'm like one of few...It effin sucks for me a bit though because I'm not attracted to most the d-bags on there...A lot of them seem to completely ignore the fact I am completely against their lifestyles and immediately think I'm supposed to be dedicated to screwing them or some shit...Dating is incredibly hard... I met a guy who seemed amazing but yeah sophistry can be really misleading... *sigh*... That's cool, I'm sure there are a decent number of female AnarchoCaps across the globe, the problem is there's so few of you that the odds of you being close to one are slim, especially in areas not well known for libertarianism, it's growing in the UK but it's still a very young political movement. Setting ALL requirements to neutral and setting distance to max (to get the most hits) reveals zero results for women and hundreds or thousands for men, it's for this reason I don't think it's a case that libertarians wouldn't use a dating site, otherwise the men would have few hits as well. I think it's a problem of females and males having different interests and different biological drives. This isn't something specific to philosophy, libertarianism and AnarchoCapitalism, if you try and find women interested in any kind of typical male pursuit it becomes exceedingly hard, if I search my fairly long list of hobbies and interests on a dating site I get a similar lack of hits, yet running a test on men finds lots. There's an undoubted gender divide in interests and political/philosophical positions. Truth be told it puts you in a great position of value which means you have the upper hand in dating. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_sQW7-Hyhbk You remind me of this. Haha, that doesn't surprise me. I quite like Jeffries, he does make me laugh, there is a certain raw appeal to his observations between men and women and it's funny because it's so often true. I can be pretty opinionated and jaded when it comes to comparing the sexes these days, mostly because I've no longer got any reasonable expectation of finding anyone. Interesting question, who has been to libertarian meet ups? Anyone care to make a casual estimate of women vs men attendees?
Bortasz Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 That's cool, I'm sure there are a decent number of female AnarchoCaps across the globe, the problem is there's so few of you that the odds of you being close to one are slim, especially in areas not well known for libertarianism, it's growing in the UK but it's still a very young political movement. Setting ALL requirements to neutral and setting distance to max (to get the most hits) reveals zero results for women and hundreds or thousands for men, it's for this reason I don't think it's a case that libertarians wouldn't use a dating site, otherwise the men would have few hits as well. I think it's a problem of females and males having different interests and different biological drives. This isn't something specific to philosophy, libertarianism and AnarchoCapitalism, if you try and find women interested in any kind of typical male pursuit it becomes exceedingly hard, if I search my fairly long list of hobbies and interests on a dating site I get a similar lack of hits, yet running a test on men finds lots. There's an undoubted gender divide in interests and political/philosophical positions. Truth be told it puts you in a great position of value which means you have the upper hand in dating. Haha, that doesn't surprise me. I quite like Jeffries, he does make me laugh, there is a certain raw appeal to his observations between men and women and it's funny because it's so often true. I can be pretty opinionated and jaded when it comes to comparing the sexes these days, mostly because I've no longer got any reasonable expectation of finding anyone. Interesting question, who has been to libertarian meet ups? Anyone care to make a casual estimate of women vs men attendees? I also like Jeffries. And I find that more and more Stand Up comics become the Prophet of our times. Sadly some of them for cheap publicity degrade men's as a gender. Luis C.K. is best example of this.In Poland we don't have meet ups of libertarians, but I think that it is pretty low. One in general women are attracted to Politician but not to Politics. The vocal few are minority, but get big amount of time in media. Two more obvious(Brainless) choice is go to the most feminist party.
Psychophant Posted August 29, 2014 Posted August 29, 2014 After recognizing that this wouldn't end up well, I did a lot of thinking and came to the conclusion that intelligence is what I am really attracted to, and soon after those who didn't display it would quickly loose my interest. That means you must be intelligent enough to recognize intelligent people. I'd suggest to start with controverse statements first like, " I don't respect women" To respect groups of people by default, you would have to know each member personally. How could you respect someone you don't even know? @5:10 If you treat women differently, just because they are woman, you are the dickhead, Jeffries.
adamNJ Posted August 31, 2014 Posted August 31, 2014 It effin sucks for me a bit though because I'm not attracted to most the d-bags on there... Well thats good
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