Is working in fast food Mentally/Emotionally healthy.

[aFireInside]

I'm working hard on my customer servicing skills. 

As you can expect there is about 20 percent of customers who are rude. 

 

The approach that I'm currently taking is to do the best to satisfy them and understand them. 

And understand that any insults I receive has nothing to do with me. 

 

 

 

 

In my personal life I'm taking toxic people out of my life, so i was just wondering what you guys think. 

 

 

 

[Alan C.]

...insults I receive has nothing to do with me.

 

It's important not to take things personally. In situations in which you interface with customers, you will invariably deal with jerks.

 

I also interface with customers in my job. Most of the people I deal with are nice, but a handful are demanding, have an entitlement mentality, listen to nothing that we say and read none of the documentation that we provide, and think that they are our only customer.

 

The best way to deal with people like that is to tell them whatever they want to hear (without committing to anything or making any promises) so that they will think that they've won and move along. If you get into arguments with people like that, you will feel drained, frustrated, and exasperated.

[Tony Crowe]

aFireInside,

 

What happens for you when someone is rude or insulting and why do you think it has nothing to do with you?

 

-Tony C.

[Tyler Durden]

What kind of things do they say to you?

[MMX2010]

I've read that Starbucks has highly-dedicated customer service training.  So if you're using fast-food as a way to learn to deal with toxic people, Starbucks is almost certainly better equipped to teach you. 

[aFireInside]

aFireInside,

 

What happens for you when someone is rude or insulting and why do you think it has nothing to do with you?

 

-Tony C.

 

 

It makes me feel nervous and scared. Most of the time its things that i have no control over, like pricing or timing of their  food.... etc 

I feel like they take their anger out on me. 

 

Also there are times when i mess up or mumble up my speech. But those times i accept that its my fault. 

What kind of things do they say to you?

 

They say things like i don't know anything... etc mostly things insulting my working style 

 

I've read that Starbucks has highly-dedicated customer service training.  So if you're using fast-food as a way to learn to deal with toxic people, Starbucks is almost certainly better equipped to teach you. 

 

 

 

I'm not doing this to "deal" with anything I just need money to move out. 

[Tony Crowe]

aFireInside,

 

Thank you for the reply. I like your attitude with "I just need money to move out." I wonder if you can keep that in mind while your customers are getting verbally sadistic on you.

 

Besides people trying to throw up their stupidity all over you how is the job going?

 

-Tony

[Tyler Durden]

They say things like i don't know anything... etc mostly things insulting my working style

 

Okay, based on my 2 year experience in market research where my job was basically to walk up to people and ask them personal questions, I'm going to give you my advice.

 

First of all you need to be very aware of your actual job, you're paid to give people what they want and get their money. What people say or do besides that is not all that relevant, sentences like "Good afternoon, could I have some fries please?" and "Give me some fucking fries goddamnit!" should mean exactly the same to you, because they both require the exact same response.

 

It's like those story math problems that you got in primary school:

 

 

Matthew has a lot of baseball cards in his collection. He began his collection when his dad gave him 38 cards for his eighth birthday. Matthew won 14 cards during a game. He bought 14 more cards at the Sport Court.

 

How many baseball cards are in Matthew's collection now?

 

You could give two shits about what his name is, whether he collects baseball cards or something else, who he got them from, on which birthday, and whether he won them or bought them. You just strip it down to the essentials, 38+14+14, the rest is irrelevant.

 

It may take some practice to look at people in that way, but that's what they're paying you for.

 

Secondly, if you still find yourself bothered by what someone says you need to check if what they say is directed at you or not. For example, when someone says "Jesus! Why does it always take so fucking long in this place?!" he's not really insulting you or asking you anything, so you can classify that as background noise. The same goes for sentences like "Don't you know anything?!" it's not a real insult, it's not a real question, it's just noise that doesn't require a response.

 

If you've gone through all the aforementioned steps and you realize that someone is actually insulting you, like "Give me some fries dumbass." then getting him the fries is equal to accepting the insult and that's very unhealthy and not something you should do under any circumstances.

 

You should realize that people only do that because they think that they're in a position of power and that you're not allowed to defend yourself. But they're wrong, and you should remind them of that.

 

Usually it's sufficient to look someone like that straight in the eyes and say "excuse me?" which gives them the chance to rephrase their sentence without the insult or just shut up. Of course there's always the possibility that someone just repeats the insult, like "I said get me my fries, dumbass."

 

In that case you should just say something like "Fuck you. Ask nicely."

 

By saying that, you make it clear that you value your integrity more than your salary. At that point even the most disrespectful person will realize that they have to give you respect if they actually want to eat.

 

I doubt it will come to that anytime soon, especially because people see it in you when you've decided to not take any crap from anyone and they don't even try. But it's important to be clear about it in your head that you're there by choice and that sacrificing your self respect is simple not an option.

 

Having that mental clarity also allows you to be more open and friendly to people, because you know you can defend yourself if you have to. I've literally spoken to thousands of people in 2 years time and I've only gotten angry once, the vast majority of those conversations were actually very pleasant.

[villagewisdom]

My personal experience with that 20% is to "kill them with kindness". It's really hard for people to continue to be rude to someone who is polite to their rudeness. And I don't mean pretending to be polite and cowering or bowing your head. I mean actually being polite. As long as you are strong in yourself, you can be strong in your presentation and you can have a profound effect. For anyone watching it will be clear to them the difference between an asshole and a civilized human being. It may be the most important experience for them that day. 

 

More importantly, you become strong in who you are, no matter the circumstances. You see? It is not about them. The world is full of unaware people. You can give them an example of what it looks like to fully present and comfortable with yourself in any circumstance. And if they do not see, what does it matter to you? You've just completed another exercise in living up to your own standards. Check. 

 

Example

Customer: "the service here sucks. where's my order"

You: "I'm sorry you feel that way. Can I get you anything else while you are waiting?"

Customer: "hell no, just bring me my stuff"

You: "I'll bring it as soon as it is ready." walk away. 

 

What just happened? The customer was rude. You empathized and asked how to help. Customer wanted no help. You move on. 

 

The customer's rudeness is not a reflection of your "customer service". Customer service is not really about the customer at all. It is about you living up to your highest standards. It takes practice to maintain your own sense of self in the face of others. Sounds like you are "working hard" on it. The skill will serve you well in days to come. 

 

I would love to hear of your progress and interactions. 

[Alexandru Stan]

Hello,I worked a bit at a pancake house, and my experience was very mixed.I worked as a host and I had nice customers but I also had a small portion of people that just felt like they wanted to make things personal.There was a customer that was ordering TO-GO and they asked for a desert item without looking at the menu. I was not too familiar with that item since we did not sell many of them and I wanted to double check because I felt like she was asking for a different item. During the whole time she just had this monstrous look on her face and complained about how slow, or how I did not understand, or how I am holding up other customers with my slow service. Funny thing is that everybody also became partially convinced or maybe just annoyed by this customer. After me fumbling my words, I was terrible anxious, and figuring out what she wanted, I went to tell the kitchen what she wanted. I also let my manager know that I just could not deal with this customer in any productive way. I was literally having a full on anxiety attack. My manager went talked to her. After the kitchen finished preparing the items I took them to her, manager already left, and gave her her food, and she told me that she asked for everything to be in one container. She left without paying or taking it, even after I called the manager to talk to her. I did stand up to her and firmly talked to her, but I was completely anxious and disoriented.I mean what I am seeing the responses here is that there are going to be those customers like I explained. I guess it really depends how you were raised and how your body reacts to all of this.How do you regulate your body to not be in fight or flight mode with those ppl. I'm not sure I could, but it might have something to do with my poor attachment to my parents through my early life.I'd really like to know how you experienced those customers?

[J-William]

It makes me feel nervous and scared. Most of the time its things that i have no control over, like pricing or timing of their  food.... etc 

I feel like they take their anger out on me. 

 

it's nothing personal. These people are pathetic bullies taking out their anger on food service workers. If you weren't there they would be yelling at someone else, or at a dog.

 

They should know better but they choose not to behave pleasantly or get help with their anger problems...

 

I assume you have a hard time with this behavior because your parents bullied you?

 

As for the question you opened with, fast food and retail really suck. If you are smart and capable, but spend your life working in fast food, you will hate yourself, and it won't be healthy. If you take it as a lesson in how awful people can be and move on, I don't think it's that unhealthy.

Anyhow you should move up in the world as quickly as you can by working hard and smart, and leave the assholes behind.

[Psychophant]

First of all you need to be very aware of your actual job, you're paid to give people what they want and get their money. What people say or do besides that is not all that relevant, sentences like "Good afternoon, could I have some fries please?" and "Give me some fucking fries goddamnit!" should mean exactly the same to you, because they both require the exact same response.

 

 

Yeah, you are the service employee who serves the customer their meals, that's the technical part of it, that doesn't mean it makes no difference whether they verbally vomit over you or not.