Johnathan Anderson Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 So I heard there was a community here. I am a socially isolated middle aged man, and I dont know how to... community. Could someone help me with that?
Slavik Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 If you mean how do you go about meeting FDR people, then go to meetup and find your location http://www.meetup.com/Freedomain-Radio/ Otherwise feel free to go into chat, there are many great chatting about, well just about everything Hope this helps
SamuelS Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Well, you're already doing it My approach is to read a site for a while (lurking) then join in the discussion if I find it interesting. Usually I'll check the "new content" page to see what is actively being discussed, then dig into the various sub-forums to see what's already been discussed. There's also a chat option for real-time conversations.
Kevin Beal Posted July 31, 2014 Posted July 31, 2014 Why do you think you're as isolated as you are? What does it mean to be in relationship? What is it to be in relationship with a community? I think that being in a real relationship is seeing people for who they really are, being as honest as you can muster and connecting with other people on the basis of shared values and mutual benefit. To offer and receive support in our goals. A community is just an extended version of that, isn't it? We (presumably) share the values of opposing immorality and committing to rational and moral lives. You may have a different way of phrasing that, but any way you cut it, we want to be as rational and honest as we can with ourselves. What can you do toward that? Maybe there are people who are struggling working through a philosophical issue that you can provide real insight into. Maybe your own intellectual or emotional questions can open up interesting conversations where everyone stands to gain and learn something about themselves or the world. And it wouldn't be an FDR thread without the question: have you looked into therapy? I've done years of therapy and found it incredibly valuable in this respect.
Johnathan Anderson Posted August 1, 2014 Author Posted August 1, 2014 Well, you started with the easy questions Kevin. I am as isolated as I am for many reasons. One reason would be that I was surrounded by assholes when I was growing up, leading to things like someone trying to get to know me being a very unpleasant experience. Also leading me to being terrified of inconveniencing people which if I assume that they experience getting to know them the same way I do leads me to not trying to get to know anyone. So that's pretty isolating. Your definition of relationship and community sound about right. I have hung around message boards trying to be being insightful or helpful(including this one), but that has never resulted in relationships or community. Attending gatherings IRL has not been successful either. I can attend a poker game or a board gaming group but they are not close-knit groups, because close-knit groups invite their friends... not me. So the groups that I have access to are groups that are excellent for performing a specific activity with strangers or, at best, acquaintances but useless for forming relationships. At least that is my understanding and that is my expectation for this forum. I'm sure I could hang around here being insightful and shit but I don't understand how that could result in any real relationships. I have been in therapy about a year. It has been very helpful with respect to my relationship to myself.
SamuelS Posted August 1, 2014 Posted August 1, 2014 Being insightful is nice, but you're right, that's not how relationships are built...being open and honest is how they're built...I understand that if you've been around a lot of crappy people it can be hard to do. I'm not sure what others think of it, but my approach lately has been to give people an opening to show empathy early in getting to know them...whether they are or aren't curious or empathetic tells you everything you need to know...maybe they don't have time/room for more relationships, maybe they're just jerks, or maybe, just maybe, they're receptive...
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