Who Started It?

[ebznflows]

You have two children and they are fighting. You were distracted and missed the beginning of the fight. One child says "He started it!", and the other says "No, SHE started it!" Clearly one of them is lying, but neither admits to it. As the parent, how do you react?

[Wuzzums]

With the caveat that I'm not a parent, I would take both instances into account and put accent on why the fight began in the first place rather than who started what. I would find with the kids in either instance a way to resolve the conflict without the need of starting a fight.

[Sunflowerac1]

When I have issues like this at my work I will(note this doesn't happen often) ask each child if they have something they would like to tell the other child and try to mediate a solution because like the fights normally start because kids feel they can't express their words on what is happening and maybe this will model how to avoid the fight next time.(before the mediation i ask each child to take a deep breath but it depends on the ages of the children involved)

But I am a teacher in a one day a week care center not a parent.

Hope this helps.

[Ashton]

You have two children and they are fighting. You were distracted and missed the beginning of the fight. One child says "He started it!", and the other says "No, SHE started it!" Clearly one of them is lying, but neither admits to it. As the parent, how do you react?

It doesn't matter who started it, I'll finish it! Wait wrong forum!You need to sit both kids down together and give them both a chance to explain their version of events. Then see if they both agree with the story of the event. It might be the case that they both genuinely believe that the other started it. So for example Alice might take a toy of Lewis, then Lewis hits her in retaliation. Alice believes Lewis started it because she didn't see taking the toy was part of the argument and Lewis saw taking the toy as the start of it.Then you address the lack of understanding on both parts.