lampan Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 Hi FDR,We, my partner and I, are expecting a tod (delivery date: Mars 2015) and we're thirsty for all kinds of knowledge: How the baby develops throughout the pregnancy and what to think about in different stages, how the environment and emotions/stress-levels of the mother affects the fetus, what to eat/avoid, exercise that prepares for delivery, facts about nursing, how to create a stimulating/safe environment for the baby's development to thrive, etc. etc. Basically anything that you found/could be helpful during pregnancy and the first year(s) with the baby. That is: What books, blogs, YouTube-videos/channels, studies, etc. would you recommend? FYI: Currently in week 10. We're in our mid twenties, have a cat, live in an apartment in the city, don't really exercise on a regular basis but try to live healthy, eat mostly vegetarian (some fish and occasionally meat from "happy" animals), we're going to unschool/radical unschool, mother's a psychologist (father's a passionate bum ).Oh, and we're living in the socialist Mecca, Sweden, where unschooling is illegal, so we have to emigrate (better sooner than later), do you know if we could get political asylum anywhere (U.S/NZ/AUS/Canada).Thanks in advance, lampan
Bipedal Primate Posted August 9, 2014 Posted August 9, 2014 I recommend La Leche League International www.llli.org LLL is an international, nonprofit, nonsectarian organization dedicated to providing education, information, support, and encouragement to women who want to breastfeed. LLL promotes attachment parenting, natural child birth, co-sleeping, baby led weaning, non-violent communication, and eating a whole foods diet. 1
Ashton Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 Lewis our eldest son was born at 31 weeks and was exclusively breast fed until 19 months. This is when he decided he was ready. He never lost weight, was always gaining and is extremely healthy. Alice our youngest daughter is 13 weeks and is and will be exclusively breast fed. She is currently over the 99th centile for weight. Breastfeeding is very hard for everyone involved, the mother's job is most demanding and all you can do as a dad is support her throughout. As a dad I felt helpless at times because I couldn't help with feeding (ignoring expressing and bottle feeding). When the feeding starts the first 3+ weeks are the hardest, you are getting your milk supply in, getting the nipples used to feeding (which can result in cracked bleeding nipples which I'm told are very painful) and you and baby are getting your routine together. Best advice for men is just support where you can and understanding the difficulties women go through when feeding.
ebznflows Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 The babycenter pregnancy app is great if you want to track what's going on in there.
JamesP Posted August 11, 2014 Posted August 11, 2014 What have you been doing to prepare to be parents?
lampan Posted August 11, 2014 Author Posted August 11, 2014 I recommend La Leche League International www.llli.org [...] Thanks! We'll definitely attend to a meeting in Sthlm and see if it's something for us. Would be great just to meet some like minded people ... Seems like you've done more or less exactly what we plan to do (co-sleeping, sling, on demand, baby led weaning) Breastfeeding is very hard for everyone involved, the mother's job is most demanding and all you can do as a dad is support her throughout. As a dad I felt helpless at times because I couldn't help with feeding (ignoring expressing and bottle feeding).Best advice for men is just support where you can and understanding the difficulties women go through when feeding. Well, I do hope we don't have to experience the "very hard" breastfeeding. From what I understand, some have a really tough time with mastitis etc. while others doesn't face any difficulty at all. So yeah, lets prepare for the worst and hope for the best ... The babycenter pregnancy app is great if you want to track what's going on in there. Thnx .. like I needed another app What have you been doing to prepare to be parents? Um, my spontaneous answer would probably be nothing, but I guess that's not completely true. The first week me met we discussed how we wanted to raise our kids, then after another few weeks 'our kids' was referring to the same kids And we've discussed it regularly for the last two-three years: if we see a parent facing a situation we always discuss how we would deal with that situation etc. But we've also started to prepare our parents, talked about where we should emigrate, etc; and we follow basically all peaceful parenting advocates out there to get helpful tips and build confidence. So yeah, almost all preparation so far have been to talk and imagine. We both feel that we'd like to read something more scientific about child development from pregnancy-4years ... Thanks for all the answers!
JamesP Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 Who's going to stay home? How much money do you have set aside? Why are you talking about emigrating?
lampan Posted August 12, 2014 Author Posted August 12, 2014 Who's going to stay home? How much money do you have set aside? Why are you talking about emigrating? Both of us want to stay at home as much as possible. One of us have $60k set aside but we hope that we'll be able to make enough money to make a profit from home. Also both of us have parents that would help out if needed.In Sweden you get parents allowance for 480 days (equals ~$30k for us) and also $150 a month in child assistance. We have to emigrate before the child is 6 since it's illegal to unschool/homeschool in Sweden.
tasmlab Posted August 12, 2014 Posted August 12, 2014 From my own experience with our first, it was sometimes difficult to remember that we were having a baby and not just a pregnancy, if that makes any sense. That all sorts out though. I wasn't prepared for the circumcision decision and botched it. That might be research-worthy if it is common in Sweden. On breastfeeding, while I certainly encourage it, they don't die if you don't do it either. For our second baby, my wife had complications that kept her in the hospital for several weeks. They eventually kicked the newborn and I out, so I had to stop at the drug store on the way home to buy bottles and formula and figure that out. He lived. (my other two were breastfed). As a passionate bum, will you get to stay home full time? Someone should, IMO. Congratulations! Parenthood is a wonderful experience.
Gwen Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 The Weston A. Price foundation westonaprice.org) has a ton of info. on pre-natal and child nutrition. They are very pro raw milk, butter, animal fat etc. (from grassfed, free range animals). I strongly urge you NOT to raise your child vegetarian - the WAPF has a lot of info. on their website about this. They alsohen have recipies for homemade formula (or you can check out Nourishing Traditions cookbook) if you aren't producing enough breast milwk. Also, make sure your baby gets used to taking a bottle - my first wanted the breast all the time and I never had him get used to the bottle so when I had problems producing enough breast milk, there were big issues. After the baby comes out, make sure they don't cut the umbilical cord before it has stopped pulsating. This guy did a Ted X talk about it - I had no idea how important this is when I had my two. If you decide to co-sleep and then get sick of it - don't use the cry it out method. I used a method called 'pick-up, put-down' I read in a book by Tracy Hogg. It was slow and tedious but my babies never had to cry for longer than a few seconds and eventually learned to settle and sleep in a crib by themselves. Also don't stress if your child doesn't sleep through the night - mine woke up sometimes several times a night until they were well past 2 years old and both are now happy to go to sleep and for the most part stay asleep all night long. Congratulations and best of luck to you and your partner! 1
tasmlab Posted August 21, 2014 Posted August 21, 2014 Oh, and we're living in the socialist Mecca, Sweden, where unschooling is illegal, so we have to emigrate (better sooner than later), do you know if we could get political asylum anywhere (U.S/NZ/AUS/Canada). Unschooling is technically illegal in the USA too. At least in my state, and I'm guessing the laws are similar in most if not all. Fortunately, the homeschooling laws make it an easy law to ignore.
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