it's not empirical or rational to debate with people who are not open to reason

[LovePrevails]

I am one of those who finds it difficult not to get drawn in anyway

 

does anyone have any idea why this sort of thing is an unreasonable draw?

 

my parents never accepted reason and evidence on world events, you show them the evidence they move the goal post, they are/were staunch supporters of Israel and nothing you could show them would shit their position an inch, my dad supported the wars in afghanistan and iraq, a=even after the destruction he continues to hold redundant positions - in those days it was always a draw to get into a heated debate and crush with facts.

 

I don't want to waste my time and energy debating with people when I can be educating people who are interested in listening. I deal with people in relationships and with personal issues and in those areas I am very effective in helping people become more happy and satisfied - so why waste my talents bashing my head against a wall? what is the draw? why am I compelled?

[TheRobin]

Do you do that just with your parents or with people in general?

 

In general a very helpful question often is "What are you afraid would happen if you didn't do it?"

[cherapple]

I think TheRobin asks a good question. I am wondering: How many people do you have in your life with whom you can have productive conversations? 

[LovePrevails]

Do you do that just with your parents or with people in general?

 

In general a very helpful question often is "What are you afraid would happen if you didn't do it?"

 

The main draw is to do it with my parents, or people who share their opinions

but it could be anyone who holds an irrational position, although i have got bored of the pedestrian arguments against anarchism so I don't engage with that crap

it would be more likely if it was something like spanking 

 

I think the draw is a lot less than it was but it is still enough to bother me

I think destroying my parents intellectually was one way to claim dominance over them in primal revenge so that may be a motivator

but just because I know what may motivate it doesn't make it go away

 

I want to sit with your question of what am I afraid will happen if I don't - the first word that comes to mind is "they'll get away with it"

yes I think there is part of me that wants people to suffer the indignity of blatantly being wrong while holding on to a position especially if it's an evil position like pro-spanking or supporting what Israel is doing in Palestine

I want them to hurt the way I hurt because it is so frustrating and annoying to me that people hold these positions at times?

Why should I have to care? Why am I forced to continue debating with them in my head when the conversation is through

 

 

I think TheRobin asks a good question. I am wondering: How many people do you have in your life with whom you can have productive conversations? 

 

I have plenty! I have some really great friends who can talk both personal, emotional stuff, and abstract philosophy/politics.

It's not like I have a shortage of good conversationalists in my life,

I also live with my girlfriend and we have very open honest communication, and we deal with everything we don't sweep it under the carpet

But I am more  likely to do it online when I'm on my own. I frustrate myself.

 

I will work more with TheRobin's question.

[cherapple]

It is like an addictive drug to get caught up in Simon the Boxer behaviors, so don't beat yourself up. Just respond with curiosity. Which you are doing, and that's great. Another good question: What is your fear will happen when you do engage in the behaviors? I find it helpful to look at both sides of the coin. 

[LovePrevails]

Yes I think I have to consider this a Simon the Boxer behaviour which is addictive like a drug! thanks for mentioning that