When is it okay to break a commitment?

[Panoptic]

Last semester in school, I made a commitment that I now regret making. I didn't really want to do it in the first place (so I obviously had signs to myself that the decision shouldn't have been made) but I ran for an officer position in a club I am in. The reason I ran was because it seemed like not many people were running and I felt like it was somewhat of a responsibility of mine to run since I had been a member for a year. I felt "bad" that if I didn't run then the other officers would have to deal with that situation. Although I suppressed this emotion by telling myself that it would end up looking good on my resume.

 

So I ran for "outreach officer" which I thought had to do with bringing in relevant, local industries to talk to club members (which is a position I held in a different club before). Unfortunately, this was a complete misunderstanding and the position actually involves going to middle schools and elementary schools to talk to children about science. This is something I am extremely uncomfortable doing since I have no experience with children (nothing against children).

 

So I ran for the position and gave my speech (which was all about bringing in industry) during a club meeting. It was extremely obvious to the others that I had no idea what I was getting myself into during this speech, but I was not aware. After I spoke, the floor was opened to questions, and not one of the officers (or anybody for that matter) told me that I had this misunderstanding. I ended up getting elected, and still nobody said anything. It wasn't until 2 weeks later when one of the officers invited me to go with her to an elementary school to talk. I texted her and explained that I wasn't comfortable doing that, and she replied saying that it would be good practice since I would be doing a lot of this as an officer. This is when I found out, and I was pretty shocked. Even later on I talked to one of the other officers who saw my speech and he joked that it was pretty awkward when I was up there not knowing what I was talking about. This seems a little bit unfair to me, but maybe I'm just putting the blame on the others.

 

I still haven't decided what to do and school is approaching. I will start my officer position for the year unless I back out, but I don't know what I should do. I feel like I would feel guilt from breaking a commitment I made if I back out. I have guilt issues anyway and so I'm not sure if it is a valid feeling or not, because I get a feeling of guilt about the smallest things and tend to let others walk over me. At the same time, I still made the commitment and I feel it is my responsibility to carry it out, even if I don't believe I made the right decision in the first place.

 

So what do you all think? What is the morally good decision to make? I don't want to live with more guilt if I make the wrong decision again.

[Livemike]

I think we can view this as a contract.  You hoped to get a feeling of having repaid the club for the benefits it gave you.  For this you offered to do certain things.  However what you offered to do and what you were required to do are different.  So are they different enough that you did not have a "meeting of the minds" in contract law terms?  I know this is a moral not a legal issue, but I think the proper moral rule is very close to the current legal one.  

 

To give you an example of a commitment I think it is moral to break say I applied for the job of "Ethics Compliance Officer" at a bank with the condition that I not resign for 2 years.  I then found out that the job of an "Ethics Compliance Officer" was to ensure that the bank wasn't found out for ethical, legal, and fiduciary duty breaches by pretending to investigate any complaint and then assuring people there was nothing in it.  The advertisement for the position and the interview gave no indication that this would be the job.  I would be entitled to  resign on the spot.  As you can see in this example there was no "meeting of the minds" no mutual understand of what was required under the agreement.  So the contract was neither morally nor legally binding IMHO.

 

I hope that helps.  

[Panoptic]

I think you make an interesting point. I think there is a significant difference though, and that is the fact that your position as "Ethics Compliance Officer" was a responsibility to uphold ethics standards, whereas my position is not about that. I.e. the purpose of your position was to uphold ethics (or was to said to uphold ethics) whereas the purpose of mine has nothing to do with upholding ethics, just to fulfill some duties.

 

In my situation, I still did it because I thought it was a good thing to do (although in truth, I was letting the concerns about others walk over my desires, which were not to do it in the first place), but that assumption still holds. Even though I am not doing what I thought I would be, it is still true that I can repay the club by being an officer here. The only thing that has changed is the stated responsibilites. The responsibilities themselves do not change the fact that I can still repay the club, which is what is bothering me.

 

When I made the commitment, there were 2 things assumed:

• I can fulfill the duties of the position I am applying for
• I have the time to fulfill these duties

Now, number 1 is has obviously changed because I thought I was applying for something else. Number 2 though, is the problem. It was implicit in my commitment that I have the time to be an officer, but I do not have that time any longer. I am probably confusing you so let me clear up my case.

 

If I go and explain to them that I will not meet this commitment, I have to give them reasons. The first reason I was planning on giving them was that I simply do not want to do this any longer because the stated duties have changed. The second reason is that I do not has much time as I thought I did before to make this commitment.

 

I think my first reason shows them the "legal" basis for leaving. The second reason though, does not, because I originally told them implicitly that I could make the time commitment. Now, other things that I did not anticipate are filling my schedule. These are things that I committed to after I made the officer commitment. So I could have not done those things, knowing that I had the original commitment.

 

After this long thought process, it seems like it comes down to the fact that my decision making faculty is not very good at the moment and I made an irresponsible decision to begin with. I think what I can do, is be 100% honest with them and explain the two reasons I gave above. I am still not sure about the morality of leaving because it almost seems optional. I originally made a commitment and morally bound myself, but this commitment was made under a bad decision on my part. Also, the other party was completely aware of my unkowningness to commit to something that I did not understand, and they said nothing. It is definitely confusing but I think I know what I am going to do now. Thank you Livemike for this!

[Bortasz]

My opinion: You did stupid think. This is not a crime. But I want point out the obvious. Not checking the duties of the office? And I mean written duties in the status ore charter of the club. What you are Politician to not know what you will be doing in the office? 

 

Now you realize you misunderstanding and what out. Okey. This is smart. Do research. Does other members where aware that you do not understand what you responsibilities will be? If yes, leave the club.

Nobody like/care about you and you have no friends in that place. 

Sorry but if my college (Not friend just college) is starting for position that he clearly don't understand I will tell him that. Maybe I will be more diplomatic and ask something like: I'm happy that you try to fight you problems with crowds, by doing speeches and presentation in schools." But I will tell him this.  

Also this people not really like this club anyway. Even If I will not like you, but care about club I will make sure that you know you duties will be. Anything else will be harmful to the club. 

You want as bookkeeper somebody who can read, write and know the laws of keeping the dam books. If they did not care that somebody who do not understand his duties apply for the position and elect him anyway what this says about people in the club? Do you chose for the spokesman position a stutterer ore anybody with speech problems? No. 

 

This is just my honest opinion. I hope that this will be useful. 

[cynicist]

Why do you think everyone let you take on a role that you didn't even understand? 

[Brentb]

The way that I see it, if you do what you said that you would do in your speech, then you're fulfilling your commitment. You were elected based on that, so the responsibilities of your office have just shifted away from middle school outreach and toward company outreach. If other officers take issue with that and want to keep it as middle school outreach, then you can offer your resignation so that someone more suitable can fill the position.