NameName Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I would really appreciate all answers to this! Thanks! I am an 18 year old male and would one day like children but am in no way ready for them. I am reading some parenting and relationship books and trying to understand what is and how to have a healthy family. Lately I've been thinking about how so many people have children around ages 20-26, atleast that's what I've noticed. I am 18, I am young, I don't even have a job, car, education, grounded principles, a successful life to share, experience, maturity or anything else and in 5 years I'm supposed to be having kids? HOW ON EARTH do people do that? How could I or others possibly be ready in 5 or so years? I understand biologically it's more healthy for women to have kids younger, is it that fertility begins to decline or egg quality begins to decline? Is it very significant the declination? I just seriously don't understand how people can have children so young, what advice would you give an 18 year old (You enlightened ones out there) on age of having children? Sorry if this seems kind of scattered. Basically how on earth are people who just became adults expected to have children in a couple years? What advice would you give to someone like me? Is it okay to have kids after 30? In what ways is it bad for a child for the mother to have the child at a later stage in life? Thank you!
aro Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I can't give you a definitive answer but I will say that the degree to which people are ready to have children varies greatly from person to person. I know of some intelligent and well read people in their twenties who I would consider ready to raise children. These people are financially stable and understand the importance of raising kids peacefully, keeping them out of government shools and minimising the amount of negative influence in their child's lives. However, I also know of some people in their twenties who intend on having kids and they are the furthest thing from prepared to say the least.
Ace Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 Well your sperm don't go swimming for the egg and then realize "oh shit he's not prepared for all the responsibility of parenthood let's hold back guys". In Canada anyways, the US is probably a little lower but fairly close, the average woman these days is 29.5 years old when they have their first child. So I don't know where you get the idea that people are expected to have children in their early 20's. More in the past, and in certain cultures. I travel for work to some Mennonite and Hutterite communities and girls there, if they are 22 without a husband and 3 kids she's an old maid. But that's certainly not the case in society at large anymore. I think with medical technology these days, women can pretty safely have children up to age 35 or so before the risk of complications starts to rise significantly. But even still, there are tons of women having kids older than that. Wait until you meet someone you can really connect with and you're certain you want to be with them for life, and then if you want kids go wild. I'm sure you've listened to some of the podcasts, it's a common theme - just how much of the ills in society are the result of couples in dysfunctional relationships having kids, becoming dysfunctional parents, getting divorced, having a kid raised by a single mother, etc. etc. So I think the key factor in deciding to have kids is finding the right partner first. Rushing into it because society or your family expect you to do so by a certain age is a terrible idea.
luxfelix Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 I'm in the same boat with you there itsmassive. To add to aro and Ace's comments, I imagine you've had other developmental milestone expectations that you either attained earlier or later than "normal". Is this very different?
NameName Posted August 14, 2014 Author Posted August 14, 2014 Great responses everyone, thank you. I didn't realize the age in Canada was 29. I guess I was really wrong. It's also a relief that having kids at even 35 isn't really a big deal. I imagine you've had other developmental milestone expectations that you either attained earlier or later than "normal". Is this very different? Another great point, you're right, I have and might do it different than normal for marriage too, thanks!
Bortasz Posted August 14, 2014 Posted August 14, 2014 The men fertility do not decline with age, but can go down by external factor. http://web.stanford.edu/class/siw198q/websites/reprotech/New%20Ways%20of%20Making%20Babies/causemal.htm There are many examples of men having children in there 50 and older. http://mentalfloss.com/article/29842/president-john-tylers-grandsons-are-still-alive World oldest father have child when he was 94 years old. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2442492/Worlds-oldest-dad-97-devastated-wife-leaves-following-disappearance-son.html The women fertility decline when she is getting older. http://www.babycentre.co.uk/a6155/your-age-and-fertility In summary Women after 35 in most cases needs medical assist to get pregnant. Hear you have two videos that will give you summary of age dating. Age 28-30 is flipping point. This will teach you about fertility windows. Remember only that having children is dangerous for men. Yes men. More precisely the marriage is very dangerous to men. The most recent video of Stefen tell you story of Robin Williams. He kill himself because he was to tired to keep up with alimony and child support that his ex wife where collecting from him. So do not go quick, use brain before penis. And relax. You have ad least 10 years to settle down/mature. Search some MRM(Men;s right movement) and MGTOW(Men's going there own way) viddeos on youtube. They will tell you about the entire justice system that will be you're enemy when you will acquire noble title of husband.
Psychophant Posted August 19, 2014 Posted August 19, 2014 So do not go quick, use brain before penis. And relax. You have ad least 10 years to settle down/mature. Search some MRM(Men;s right movement) and MGTOW(Men's going there own way) viddeos on youtube. They will tell you about the entire justice system that will be you're enemy when you will acquire noble title of husband. I doubt that having more money to buy you pussy for the sake of reproduction helps, since the conditions don't change and a single man in its prime has even more to loose. Switching into the 5th gear doesn't help if you hit a wall. 1
Bortasz Posted August 20, 2014 Posted August 20, 2014 I doubt that having more money to buy you pussy for the sake of reproduction helps, since the conditions don't change and a single man in its prime has even more to loose. Switching into the 5th gear doesn't help if you hit a wall. I have no Idea what you talking about.Less mysterious ways of god, more straight forward reason.
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