Honest and Dishonest Videos About Male Insecurity

[MysterionMuffles]

I found this video pretty funny and honest. It does expose the underlying insecurity men like this have and what they really are trying to say when they try to talk up women in such a abbrasive manner.

 

However the same channel also has this video that assumes that males have a lot less fears than women. It starts off with something simple and silly like eating a banana in public, but then it moves on to more serious things like walking alone at night and talking back to people. I'm pretty sure you can apply these fears to men, the ones in which they assume only women have. Take a look.

[hannahbanana]

I saw the article related to the second video, and I was actually pretty surprised. Maybe it's because I don't live in a big city (the video seems to make it look like that), but many of the fears listed have never even crossed my mind.

For instance, not having a cab drop you off in front of your apartment. I find this silly, because A) we have the intelligence to install a deadbolt on our door, or even pick up the phone and have someone else do it for you; and B) wouldn't getting out somewhere other than your apartment, and then walking the rest of the way actually be MORE risky, since I'm pretty sure it's more likely for you to get mugged than for a cab driver to remember YOUR HOUSE out of the many people he drives around, find a way into your building, and THEN break your deadbolt and get into your apartment.

When I read that article, it felt more like fear mongering more than anything else. But I also saw that these fears came from women who were surveyed about things that they have missed out on because they are a woman, so at least someone is thinking them. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

[nathanm]

1st video: My friend would do that, except he just introduced himself and I to the attractive woman(en) in a low voice with all the car windows rolled up.  This is not a joke, we were just dorks.

 

2nd video: So…I take it this is "rape culture"?  Is this really what it's like being a woman?  You're under constant threat from rapists and creeps every waking moment of the day?  I live in a world oblivious to all these dangers but to a woman every day is like walking through the lion's den slathered in antelope musk?  Damn, this male privilege thing is awesome!  Woo!

[Wuzzums]

Regarding the second video. It's so shameful how the patriarchy is treating women. They're caught in a deadly net of violence and rape mainly because the patriarchy knows that women simply cannot not: use an isolated ATM, leave drinks unattended, travel alone, engage in conversations with a stranger, smile at strangers, and so on...

 

I personally cannot swim. That is why society needs to change and ban the access to large bodies of water. It's only fair.

 

Regarding the whole "women doing x action alone" pattern, comedian Sean Lock nails it:

[Soren]

Maybe its my propagandized upbringing but I don't find the second video that bad many of the situations have women in at greater risk due to their smaller statue and weaker physical abilities.

[Bortasz]

Maybe its my propagandized upbringing but I don't find the second video that bad many of the situations have women in at greater risk due to their smaller statue and weaker physical abilities.

 

Okey I will take the second video on workshop.

 

1. Eating certain food in public.First argument is, that woman cannot eat a Banana in public? Really?

Try as a guy eat banana in public and look other guy in the eyes.

 

2. Getting in to subway where there all only men.

Yes because like we all know woman are in bigger risk of violence than man. Except that this is wrong.

 

3, Living drink unattended

This is pure stupidity regardless of gender. Period.

 

4. Meeting landlord, cable guy, electrician alone.

I maybe wrong but we already talk about this in point 2. Also sorry but this is just to increase the feeling of victimization. So women will feel that men are rapist. Also sorry but if you landlord is creepy, he will not be you landlord.

 

5. Wearing clothes that draw to much attention.

Yes because we already know that society make excuses for all rapist when women was wearing to sluty clothes. O wait, they don't.

 

6. Travelling alone.

The third argument about being alone. Go to points 2 and 4 to see my opinion about it. Also since when men that travel alone are more safer than a women?

 

7. Talking back to someone who bothers you.

Sorry but women can talk back to all man. Majority will not touch her, and in does rare occasion where they will, there is almost always some white knight that will help her.

Try being a guy and talk back to other guy. Nobody will care if they kick you're ass and all you complaining will be dismiss as whining of somebody who should know to shut up.

 

8. Using isolated ATM.

Yes because all strong and big, and dangerous guys can use isolated ATM and nobody rob them. Look add statistics. Man are in greater danger of violence. And picking up money from isolated ATM ad night in dangerous neighbourhood is plane stupid. Regardless of gender.

 

9. Engaging in small talks with strangers.

Yes because men cannot be a target of violence. I once get rob by a guy who talk with me for 15 minutes. He get closer and closer, and than grab my laptop and run. This is common tactics use by thief's, and in all Polish trains is warning to do not talk with strangers, do not drink or eat food that they give you. It is common sense.

 

10. Going on date. Without telling a friend where they will be.

This is so stupid.

Yes she chose a guy, chose the place where they meet. And still she is in bigger danger than him. Because like everybody know gangs never use a woman as a bait to lure there target in to ambush. And for does who do not read. This also never happen in the books. Because it is not a cliché.

And of course the second part is also against logic to tell somebody where you will be. You know in case of emergency.

 

11. Making eye contact or smiling at strangers. Because it can be viewed as an invitation for more.

I will quote a Mettalica: O god pleas kill me!

Obvious attempt to put women in role of victims and pain man as a predators.

And we all know man will rape all women that will make eye contact with them. And god forbid that you smile add them to show that you are interest in them. They may come to you and start talking. And then he will ask for you number, and of course you will have to give it to him. And than he will find where you life, and than he will kill and rape you. Or this is other way around?

This was used in point 9.

 

12. Having a taxi driver drop you of directly in front of you home. Because they now know where you life. Buahahahaha <- That buahaha is me. I simple cannot resist.

Because a taxi driver is a man, and all man are rapist. And all women's are victims and you need feminist because we fight for you rights.

 

13. Walking alone to home ad night.

Yes because a man who walk alone at night to home is never target of criminals.Also the entire point of being ALONE in the dark was used in the points 2,4 and 6.

 

I see here pure stupidity and victimization. Also the majority of this video is based on Feeling alone=vulnerable, nothing more.

[Soren]

Okey I will take the second video on workshop. 1. Eating certain food in public.First argument is, that woman cannot eat a Banana in public? Really?Try as a guy eat banana in public and look other guy in the eyes. 2. Getting in to subway where there all only men.Yes because like we all know woman are in bigger risk of violence than man. Except that this is wrong. 3, Living drink unattendedThis is pure stupidity regardless of gender. Period. 4. Meeting landlord, cable guy, electrician alone.I maybe wrong but we already talk about this in point 2. Also sorry but this is just to increase the feeling of victimization. So women will feel that men are rapist. Also sorry but if you landlord is creepy, he will not be you landlord. 5. Wearing clothes that draw to much attention.Yes because we already know that society make excuses for all rapist when women was wearing to sluty clothes. O wait, they don't. 6. Travelling alone.The third argument about being alone. Go to points 2 and 4 to see my opinion about it. Also since when men that travel alone are more safer than a women? 7. Talking back to someone who bothers you.Sorry but women can talk back to all man. Majority will not touch her, and in does rare occasion where they will, there is almost always some white knight that will help her.Try being a guy and talk back to other guy. Nobody will care if they kick you're ass and all you complaining will be dismiss as whining of somebody who should know to shut up. 8. Using isolated ATM.Yes because all strong and big, and dangerous guys can use isolated ATM and nobody rob them. Look add statistics. Man are in greater danger of violence. And picking up money from isolated ATM ad night in dangerous neighbourhood is plane stupid. Regardless of gender. 9. Engaging in small talks with strangers.Yes because men cannot be a target of violence. I once get rob by a guy who talk with me for 15 minutes. He get closer and closer, and than grab my laptop and run. This is common tactics use by thief's, and in all Polish trains is warning to do not talk with strangers, do not drink or eat food that they give you. It is common sense. 10. Going on date. Without telling a friend where they will be.This is so stupid.Yes she chose a guy, chose the place where they meet. And still she is in bigger danger than him. Because like everybody know gangs never use a woman as a bait to lure there target in to ambush. And for does who do not read. This also never happen in the books. Because it is not a cliché.And of course the second part is also against logic to tell somebody where you will be. You know in case of emergency. 11. Making eye contact or smiling at strangers. Because it can be viewed as an invitation for more.I will quote a Mettalica: O god pleas kill me!Obvious attempt to put women in role of victims and pain man as a predators.And we all know man will rape all women that will make eye contact with them. And god forbid that you smile add them to show that you are interest in them. They may come to you and start talking. And then he will ask for you number, and of course you will have to give it to him. And than he will find where you life, and than he will kill and rape you. Or this is other way around?This was used in point 9. 12. Having a taxi driver drop you of directly in front of you home. Because they now know where you life. Buahahahaha <- That buahaha is me. I simple cannot resist.Because a taxi driver is a man, and all man are rapist. And all women's are victims and you need feminist because we fight for you rights. 13. Walking alone to home ad night.Yes because a man who walk alone at night to home is never target of criminals.Also the entire point of being ALONE in the dark was used in the points 2,4 and 6. I see here pure stupidity and victimization. Also the majority of this video is based on Feeling alone=vulnerable, nothing more.

 As the video is called "13 thing women avoid doing" it seems to me rather a view from the inside a woman head rather than a feminist argument for rape culture. And the woman might not always be thinking about getting away from rape as much as she is thinking about not being approached by guys who wants to date her.

[Bortasz]

 As the video is called "13 thing women avoid doing" it seems to me rather a view from the inside a woman head rather than a feminist argument for rape culture. And the woman might not always be thinking about getting away from rape as much as she is thinking about not being approached by guys who wants to date her.

Women want be approach by guys they find attractive. They do not want, and are scared/creep out by guys they do not find attractive.

And this video is not made for men, so we understand the problems of women. it's make for women's to put them deeper in the victim status and alienation.

[Psychophant]

Women want be approach by guys they find attractive. They do not want, and are scared/creep out by guys they do not find attractive.

And this video is not made for men, so we understand the problems of women. it's make for women's to put them deeper in the victim status and alienation.

 

Yeah, yeah, women who act this way want the benefit of the picker and chooser but not the draw back of being approach by an unpleasant guy who they like to call names like creep and pervert. If you dress like a slut, you will be perceived as such, since men ain't mind readers. If you woman are such a tender being who is frightened by an unpleasant guy, don't send the wrong signals.

[hannahbanana]

I also find it irritating in the second video that they often feel like they need to give a reason for why women don't do certain actions. "Don't make eye contact, it could be seen as an invitation for more." Replacing it with issues that aren't related to gender, it just sounds paranoid. "Don't cross a street, you could get hit by a car." "Don't eat bacon, you could get a heart attack." "Don't walk up staircases, you could trip and break your leg."

Instead of making these generalizations, which sow fear where it isn't necessarily needed, it would be easier to encourage good judgement. If there are a ton of cars speeding up and down the street, look both ways, or don't cross at all. If you've already had a ton of bacon, or have heart problems, cut back on the bacon. If the stairs look slippery, don't use them. Each of these situations aren't inherently dangerous. Not every staircase is going to break your leg, but it's good to be able to decide which ones might. Same with these issues. If a guy or girl looks really shifty, don't make small talk. That's just common sense. But it doesn't mean you should treat the clean-cut looking guy at your friend's party like he has the plague.

[J. D. Stembal]

Maybe its my propagandized upbringing but I don't find the second video that bad many of the situations have women in at greater risk due to their smaller statue and weaker physical abilities.

 

If this is true, perhaps women shouldn't participate in risky activities, or act to mitigate the risks. I don't drive without my glasses since I am near-sighted. To do so would be taking an unnecessary risk. In general, there is a 10-20% difference in body mass between men and women. Continually granting the woman the victim card because of this disparity is ridiculous. Presuming a woman could not successfully stand up for herself physically, if needed, is not very empowering. Your statement also assumes that they will be defending themselves against the aggression of a man.

 

The worries presented in the second video are overblown. What are the chances you are going to be slipped a mickey? Why wouldn't men be just as worried? I know a man who was drugged while out at a club. Why aren't men making videos about how they are afraid of being drugged? Why are people leaving drinks unattended if this is such a problem? Why are people going to creepy bars where this evil drugging business is occurring?

 

Women do not avoid walking alone at night; everyone does. If we have a good reason to worry for our safety, carry a weapon. Turn the fear back on the perpetrators.

 

Now let's look at men's worries:

 

Getting passed up for promotion because of bigotry in the workplace.

Wife leaving him and taking the kids.

Being financially raped through alimony and child support abuse.

False rape accusations and the legal costs incurred.

Being hauled off to jail if a woman attacks him and he attempts to physically defend himself.

Being criticized for inadequate sexual performance.

 

I could go on but that's quite a handful of troubling masculine experience already!

[PatrickC]

1. Eating certain food in public.

First argument is, that woman cannot eat a Banana in public? Really?

Try as a guy eat banana in public and look other guy in the eyes.

 

I will never eat a banana again. 

[Soren]

If this is true, perhaps women shouldn't participate in risky activities, or act to mitigate the risks. I don't drive without my glasses since I am near-sighted. To do so would be taking an unnecessary risk. In general, there is a 10-20% difference in body mass between men and women. Continually granting the woman the victim card because of this disparity is ridiculous. Presuming a woman could not successfully stand up for herself physically, if needed, is not very empowering. Your statement also assumes that they will be defending themselves against the aggression of a man.

Excuse me, why are you talking to me when its clearly a conversation you are having inside your own head?

[J. D. Stembal]

Excuse me, why are you talking to me when its clearly a conversation you are having inside your own head?

 

If you don't wish to respond to my post, that's your decision, but why would you attempt to insult me while also refusing to contribute to the discussion?

[Soren]

If you don't wish to respond to my post, that's your decision, but why would you attempt to insult me while also refusing to contribute to the discussion?

Take it as an insult if you wish I was genuenly curious, why you would reply to me with all those assumptions?

[Soren]

If you don't wish to respond to my post, that's your decision, but why would you attempt to insult me while also refusing to contribute to the discussion?

I clearly wanted to respond since I did. Given what you wrote I could not grasp why you replyed to me because its like I don't even exist, you are just off on some rant. When did I refuse anything in this thread?

If this is true, perhaps women shouldn't participate in risky activities, or act to mitigate the risks. I don't drive without my glasses since I am near-sighted. To do so would be taking an unnecessary risk. In general, there is a 10-20% difference in body mass between men and women. Continually granting the woman the victim card because of this disparity is ridiculous. Presuming a woman could not successfully stand up for herself physically, if needed, is not very empowering. Your statement also assumes that they will be defending themselves against the aggression of a man. The worries presented in the second video are overblown. What are the chances you are going to be slipped a mickey? Why wouldn't men be just as worried? I know a man who was drugged while out at a club. Why aren't men making videos about how they are afraid of being drugged? Why are people leaving drinks unattended if this is such a problem? Why are people going to creepy bars where this evil drugging business is occurring? Women do not avoid walking alone at night; everyone does. If we have a good reason to worry for our safety, carry a weapon. Turn the fear back on the perpetrators. Now let's look at men's worries: Getting passed up for promotion because of bigotry in the workplace.Wife leaving him and taking the kids.Being financially raped through alimony and child support abuse.False rape accusations and the legal costs incurred.Being hauled off to jail if a woman attacks him and he attempts to physically defend himself.Being criticized for inadequate sexual performance. I could go on but that's quite a handful of troubling masculine experience already!

If it is true? It is true, that women are smaller and weaker physically on average. The video is about how women mitigate perceived risks. What is the purpose of this comment other than I guess disempowering women?How am I granting them the victim card automatically, or is this comment even directed towards me? So you agree that women are smaller but you think that in a straight fight a woman has a good chance of matching a man? "..not very empowering" why are you suddenly employing feminist shaming tactics? Well actually I don't assume that, it could also be a aggressive larger woman og a group of aggressive women while I think w on w is a more fair fight the weaker you are the less likely you are of taking chances.Your comments seems very incoherent and not directed at me, it's more a collection of rants.

[Matisyra]

I would say the video of things women do to mitigate risks is fairly accurate. When I was living in cities, I would say I did all of these (except the not eating bananas in public thing) and quite a bit more - never have a cell phone out while walking especially at night, take off and hide watches or jewelry before walking at night, always carry some cash so if you are mugged you can throw the cash one way and run the other. (Pro tip: carry the going rate of a hit of the current drug du jour).

 

While some women may feel like victims all the time because of this, I have personally never met one -- anecdata is not data of course, and so I fully understand that there are women out there who will view themselves as victims because they need to show vigilance while living in a city with a higher crime rate. I viewed it as just being smart about my surroundings and my capabilities if I got in a bad spot. Honestly, it wasn't a big deal, nor did it ever feel like an injustice. The men I knew were often not as careful. They also got mugged more frequently, and men are the ones more likely to be mugged.

 

Maybe, instead of women ranting about the safety measures they take, they should be good citizens, pass on their tips to men and encourage them to follow them rather than tease them for it. Cities are less safe for men, and as someone who likes men, I want them to be safe too. So guys, avoid walking alone at night, keep a twenty on you and put the phone away when you are walking. And give your friends text updates if you are on a date with a stranger too. Women can be dangerous too.

[J. D. Stembal]

I would say the video of things women do to mitigate risks is fairly accurate. When I was living in cities, I would say I did all of these (except the not eating bananas in public thing) and quite a bit more - never have a cell phone out while walking especially at night, take off and hide watches or jewelry before walking at night, always carry some cash so if you are mugged you can throw the cash one way and run the other. (Pro tip: carry the going rate of a hit of the current drug du jour).While some women may feel like victims all the time because of this, I have personally never met one -- anecdata is not data of course, and so I fully understand that there are women out there who will view themselves as victims because they need to show vigilance while living in a city with a higher crime rate. I viewed it as just being smart about my surroundings and my capabilities if I got in a bad spot. Honestly, it wasn't a big deal, nor did it ever feel like an injustice. The men I knew were often not as careful. They also got mugged more frequently, and men are the ones more likely to be mugged.Maybe, instead of women ranting about the safety measures they take, they should be good citizens, pass on their tips to men and encourage them to follow them rather than tease them for it. Cities are less safe for men, and as someone who likes men, I want them to be safe too. So guys, avoid walking alone at night, keep a twenty on you and put the phone away when you are walking. And give your friends text updates if you are on a date with a stranger too. Women can be dangerous too.

 

Concealed carry is a cheap and viable option for self-defense, considering the alternative of possible victimization. My whole kit cost me about $1400, which includes several hundred rounds of ammunition, holster, two belts, loaders, cleaning supplies, brushes and the cost of the required self-defense class for licensing. I did, however, spend several hundred more on range and rental fees to try out an assortment of handguns to determine which I liked best before buying. There is no substitute for awareness over your surroundings to prevent victimization. You don't need a firearm to practice awareness, but if you are armed, awareness, practice and discipline is a must!  I don't see the efficacy with the throwing cash as a decoy tactic, because a smart and successful mugger will make sure you have no exit before springing the trap. I wouldn't ever presume that my assailant is a fool or an amateur.

[Matisyra]

I don't see the efficacy with the throwing cash as a decoy tactic, because a smart and successful mugger will make sure you have no exit before springing the trap. I wouldn't ever presume that my assailant is a fool or an amateur.

It did work for me the one time I had to try it. Granted, this was going through an area where it was well known that most muggings were to score drugs and the attacker did look pretty strung out. Would not be the best response in all situations but in some, it is a way of de-escalating. It's a good trick in areas known for junkies, but not a trick for areas you don't know anything about.I'm all for concealed carry for those who feel like it's a good precaution. For those of us who are nervous around guns, are small and could easily be overpowered by a larger attacker without spending years in martial arts training, situational awareness and avoiding high risk situations may be the better tactic. I'm all for it for those who feel comfortable with a gun though. I'm not going to question anyone who chooses to practice avoidance rather than carry.

[J. D. Stembal]

It did work for me the one time I had to try it. Granted, this was going through an area where it was well known that most muggings were to score drugs and the attacker did look pretty strung out. Would not be the best response in all situations but in some, it is a way of de-escalating. It's a good trick in areas known for junkies, but not a trick for areas you don't know anything about.I'm all for concealed carry for those who feel like it's a good precaution. For those of us who are nervous around guns, are small and could easily be overpowered by a larger attacker without spending years in martial arts training, situational awareness and avoiding high risk situations may be the better tactic. I'm all for it for those who feel comfortable with a gun though. I'm not going to question anyone who chooses to practice avoidance rather than carry.

 

That's a frightening situation to have to decide to throw money at a mugger, and run the other way. I'm glad I've never had the same experience, and I hope that your life was not seriously threatened in the attack. I find it curious, however, that you are preaching avoidance and awareness over self-defense, when you willfully did not practice avoidance since you were travelling in an area that was well-known for muggings. I completely agree with you that avoidance is the key to prevention, and that carrying a firearm is not a necessity, but a personal choice, and is not for everyone.

[Matisyra]

This was DC in the late 90's, so it was a question of walking through an area with muggings from junkies or an area where drive-boys and gang-related issues came up, or take a very long walk at night, or a long cab wait. Standing around or being out for long didn't sound smart, and so the lesser of two evils was the option I went for. If you live in a city, learn to know the area. Check out the city crime beat. It's not enough to know the bad areas and the good areas - know what kind of bad areas there are. Avoidance for men and women will not be possible every time, so knowing how to de-escalate a situation is helpful.

 

Was not hurt at all, luckily enough. Sadly, especially for the men I knew who got mugged, most people are not so lucky.